Stood up for myself against the game players!

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This marks a triumph and a defeat simultaneously. I managed to break my rut, going on five dates with one woman! I'd never made it past three. Things were going great, I was seeing her every weekend and then all of a sudden...silence. She quits responding to my messages four days ago. Nothing. She must've had a change of heart.

The one thing I cannot abide is lack of communication. It is utterly cowardly to simply be silent. All deserve honesty. I would've understood if she had a change of heart or found someone else. I was at least owed that much...not just rude silence.

So I sent her a final message saying that I was disappointed in her silence, and expected better, expected the courtesy at least of a goodbye. Of course the coward hasn't even responded to that.

To hell with her. To hell with all liars and people who think the best way to let someone off is to give the silent treatment. It's her loss, and now I move on, and keep looking for someone who will won't play games and who will be respectful of others. Frankly I can tell I dodged a bullet...no way I would want to waste another minute with someone like her. Rotten!

More power to you.
Aspies suck at socials.
NTs suck at honesty.

It's a tradeoff.

Ok brian....So what do you want from us? A stood up crowd applause?

I think the OP is probably right. I always let guys go when they never contact me in any way (even just to say "sorry, too busy, will talk later) for 3 days or longer. In my experience the people who stop contact without any explanation will either:

1. never contact me again, or
2. contact me again weeks or months later to try to pick up where they left off.

Also, in my own experience, people will continue to do whatever they've done before. If they get too busy to even send the shortest message one time, they will continue to do it again and again. Let me put it this way: people have the right to go silent and stop responding to me, and I have the right to no longer be involved with them.

Am I the only none rude person on the planet? i had the flu, i went to work day one, i still called in sick other days, ..


you saying that you can call and talk to someone but can't send a message to another saying you are sick. most people aren't in some comma with the flu, they lay in bed play games, watch tv, surf the net etc.


MollyTroubletail

so true. I was talking to one girl and tried to talk about similar interest, you know trying to bond isnt that the point of dating? anyways shes not replied for a week now. I don't see her ever replying. like the other 500+ girls. they just drop communication and move on to the next better guy.

so guys do this too?

> So do guys do this too?

I've been dating on and off since 1998 and in my experience males and females do this about the same amount to each other. Meaning, both genders do it a lot.

In my experience a 4 days of non-response means it's the end, but accidents and sickness may happen - so I would leave something like 'hope you're ok, talk to me when you can' as a last shot.

I think the message was too strong a reaction. I agree with Boo...a milder more questioning tone would be better. If something was up, this would give her a chance to express herself. The message you sent doesn't really warrant a response.

brian, sounds like you need someone who is blunt. I am the same way. other people see being honest as being rude. they prefer to communicate indirectly by dropping hints. I agree with you. she wasn't a good match. I also know how infuriating it is to be ignored and not know why. Maybe it is an aspie thing, but I need clear communication, not hints.