Awkward Situations at a crowd full of everybody.

Post Reply New Topic

Do you ever run into an awkward situation where you meet women and instead of going out, you just hang out without expecting anything and in an unfortunate time, your autistic or asperger side kick in as a firewall to make you awkward in front of that chick because of the crowd?

I do. not a lot but i do. and it sucks. The crowd can be anyone from the hipsters of Williamsburg or Silver Lake to the ravers from your school whose only sense of coming close to autism/aspergers is getting a wierd bad trip on shrooms or acid. It's also a lot to do with environmental settings. Not wearing that special ironic tshirt that would swoon that chick wearing her 80s outfit would put you in an odd spot as it has for me.

this can apply for women too who have that similar surrounding of teh suk. As i am new here.

Yes, I met a girl online through my moms friend about 8 years ago. My mom met her mom through an asperger support group (her son was the same age as me and had aspergers) . I was supposed to befriend the boy but during the few years I knew his sister I never met him. He wouldn't come out of his room to meet me when I was over at their house, which I understood so I left him alone. Anyway there were quite a few times that I did wierd things in public with or around this girl, some of which she would make sarcastic remarks about. The relationship was strictly friendship and I always felt awkward and sometimes did things around her friends that I think embarassed her, but we only recently lost contact mainly because I moved far away, and our email correspondence stopped. So it wasn't because of my strangeness.

There were times in school where this sort of thing happened, one time in the 9th grade a girl who had been friendly to me for about a month was trying to talk to me after class and I basicaly ignored her. I didn't like doing it at the time but it was after the last class and the hall was tight and packed elbow to elbow which realy put me out of my comfort zone so I couldn't stop and talk, I just had to get out of there and get home. I wanted to appologize for it, and explain myself but never could bring myself to do it. She remained cordial but never talked to me beyond basic "good morning" type of stuff after that. I have always regreted doing that to her.

when i was younger i had this happen to me quite a lot.

nowadays i mostly choose leisure activities that take some concentation so that i can (and indeed have to) tune out the crowd or that would be undertaken in smaller groups such as climbing, rowing, dancing, cinema etc. this lessens my anxiety a bit.

also, i have worked out that i have an optimal window of 'social stamina' where if i concentrate hard enough, i can just about open my mouth without putting my foot in it. after this window closes, it is okay to go home whilst others carry on or to stay and stay quiet if this is appropriate.