OKCupid no longer showing relationship status?

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I've just noticed this. Profiles no longer seem to tell you if people are single or not. How are you supposed to know if you're not dating someone who's got a boyfriend now? Are you supposed to just use filters? It seems like an absolutely ridiculous change if they don't even tell you if someone's single on their profile.

It's in the "my details" side pane now

I see that the "my details" side pane has a new category that tells you what kind of relationship you want, just whether you want a monogamous one or not. That though does not tell anyone if you're currently single, seeing someone or married and that is still information that I'd like to know before I message someone. The problem is that some people also just look for friendships on OKCupid and not are not necessarily only looking for relationships.

Quite frankly they might be intentionally making it easier to use OKCupid to have an affair, is there a dev blog/ dev notes about the change?

I hope not. It's against my ethical principles to enter into relationship with someone where they are cheating on their partner with me, regardless of whether they are married or not. I don't mind the fact that OKCupid has always made provision for people who prefer non-monogamous relationships as well, since it at least had a status that allowed them to be honest about it and it's not the same as cheating. Maybe they're trying to prevent people from thinking that they still have a chance with someone who says that they're only looking for "New Friends" in the "Looking for …" category if they have still listed the relationship status as "single". The problem is that leaving this information out seems to come with it's own set of issues.

Define 'cheating'.

OK, we all know that a married guy on OK Cupid is 'cheating' but what if you're single and you've met someone on the site and you're in regular contact with them, should you ignore approaches from other people?

I say no. The only time you should change your status on OK Cupid is when you've met someone and, so far as you're both concerned, you've found 'the one'. At that point you should both suspend your memberships and leave the site. Until then I don't see anything wrong in corresponding with other members because that's what I expect others to be doing. You're not expected to be monogamous on a dating site.

another thing, I thought when you Hide someone, they can no longer see you, but people are messaging me even after I've hidden them? what do i have to do to become invisible to someone?

"hiding just blocks them from search results, there should be a "block" link on their page

You've misunderstood. I meant that wouldn't want to date someone who already has a regular boyfriend. I didn't mean that you necessarily have to ignore approaches from other people, just that you shouldn't use it to date more than one person at a time, unless you've agreed to have a non-monogamous relationship with your current dating partner. If you're just meeting someone else for a friendly chat and not officially dating, then that's also fine.

Also, I don't agree that you should necessarily both suspend your memberships if you've agreed to be exclusive because even though it's primarily a dating site, not everyone on there is necessarily looking to date someone and that's why "Relationship Status" is important. I wouldn't mind if a gf kept her profile on there if she still has friends that she can chat to, as long as she changes her status to "seeing someone" instead of saying she's single. So, even a married guy is not necessarily cheating if he's still got a profile on there, as long he's not looking for an affair. It's about honesty, that's all.

Last edited by Jono on 31 Mar 2014, 3:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's right. You have to block them as well. The only thing that happens is that they can no longer see you in their search results if you "hide" them but that doesn't stop them from messaging you. If they've sent you a message before, they can still get to your profile page by clicking on the your profile image in their old messages, even if they can no longer find you in their search results.

They don't tell you if they're single but they tell you if they're seeing someone.

I see. I've just tested it and it seems like they do tell you if a match is not single. I guess then that if the relationship status is not shown, it means that they're single.

That site, is so bogus. one girl telling me that no girls want me. every single girl i saw kept looking at me very angry. i must of angered so many of them. wow me being called a misogynist as well. no one knows what its like to be a bad person when everyone is the victim of their stupid problems. i dont like dealing with other people problems. more like i wanna a huge hammer and smack them all. it's all in the brain matter. the brain is f****d up.