Did I ruin a chance of getting a relationship?

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At a friends party in December 2013 this girl I knew from previous encounters did some very outrageous things that night that I don't really want to go into (let's just say shes had problems with drugs and the law).

More to the point she sat on my lap at the party flirting with me a bit while she was drunk saying things like "I always liked you", "I have been chasing after you" and "I don't think you have aspergers I just think your really shy"

Although my memory is a bit hazy before I left the party she gave me her number and said "here's my number and be prepared i am a hard girl to get under control"

The following morning after the party she texted me asking me to hang out I think but i wasn't interested and deleted her text/number.


Do you think I missed an oppurtunity to get a relationship or not?

one of my friends who is friends with that girl said to me recently regarding her giving me her number "I think she was just being friendly"

Last edited by Jamesy on 26 Jun 2015, 10:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think it might have been good that you didn't pursue a relationship with this person.

When a girl says she's "hard to handle," she usually has "issues."

Whoa, you didn't even answer her text?

But what did my friend mean by she was "just being friendly"? He did also mention that "she felt sorry for you and thought you deserved some happyness


I didn't answer her text because I wasn't really bothered about her and I am also very shy

I think you might have lost the chance. Also you didn't behave really politely.

You might have missed out on something but I doubt it was a decent relationship. She would probably have been trouble.

That same night at the party when i left she slept with one of my friends.

That same friend is currently in a long term relationship with her

Whoa you didn't mention it. Then I think your reaction is understandable and not inappropriate.

What does that say about her then?

It's common knowledge that alcohol has always been considered to be a mild "truth serum" drug of sorts.

I pretty much second that. You probably missed a chance to have sex, but I highly doubt a relationship.

I wouldn't feel bad about it, though. People like that - especially when drunk - are crazy. I doubt she would have wanted it sober, so really that was a good act of caution knowing she'd had quite a bit to drink. And especially given her denial of your having Asperger's - not someone you really want to hang out with.

My humble opinion about sex and alcohol is that while being kind of tipsy is fine, if you think either of you would risk a DUI by driving home, it's not a good idea to act on lust, especially if you just met the person. If you're borderline in that regard, perhaps you could suggest refraining from drinking a bit and seeing if you still want it after sobering up a bit.

You missed an opportunity for you to "make love" with her. Being "hard to handle" means she's good in bed. Tough luck buddy. When a girl actually gives you her number which is not very common, you always talk to her especially if you're shy guy. I made the same mistakes, two girls gave me their number in 2014 and I was stupid to ghost them. One was too young tho, she's 14 and she thought I was like 16 but I was 19 at the time. And one girl pretty much asked me to be her bf but I said no because I wasn't interested. Now i'm going to be a single for who knows how long.

Look on the bright side, this girl may have had an STD.

Last edited by darkphantomx1 on 26 Jun 2015, 12:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

But those don't even exist until someone actually contracts one and knows they have.

Actually, all they have to do is contract an STD. Knowing about it doesn't make it not exist.

Yes, it sucks that there often seems to be nobody you can truly relate to whom you'd actually like to have sex with. But you're saving yourself from a world of trouble in the long run, because most of these "relationships" based on first-time meetings (at parties and/or under the influence) are really only based on sex at the core. The "social skills" they seem to have that you don't really just enable them to sleep with many people based only on lust, and thus greatly increase their risk of an STD, not to mention regret of the sex when they realize they're not actually interested in a relationship. You're really taking a much higher road by holding out for true love, or at least someone you care very much about non-sexually - even if it takes decades! I'm 30 and still waiting, but I truly think it will be worth it.

Surprised that girl jumped your ass. She must of be very desperate to give you a ride like a pony.

How can you say that? Do you know me personally?