So surprised of aspies here date

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After reading quite few threads on this forum, I find so surprising that many aspies, even more severe than mild case are actually either dating, have sex and/or are married. This makes me think I am more loner and outlier kind of person. I am extremely curious how you guys get it? I am so curious how. I met an aspie guy who is mild case as me, she is dating with her boyfriend for years and her boyfriend have moderate ASD which is worse. How that happened?

I only have mild case and good intelligence and life skills and still single and virgin at 24. What is going on? I have been everywhere. I went to clubs, uni, groups, organisations, events and the so on. Nothing ever happened unless I get rejections constantly. I know how to talk to people and that, but still I am so surprised that how good person I am with unique, special and awesome personalities gets nothing. It not fair. Makes me wonder how criminals, drunken bogans and that get girlfriends so easy.

I've dropped any active attempts of finding gf for now - last years it took too much time and no result at all. I'm already 27 so if no miracle won't happen I'll be alone. Though it's better than to be with girl who I won't respect, that doesn't have common moral and social attitude with me.

Hi.

With me, i only started dating at 24 so please dont worry about it. I'm 26 now .

Seriously though, its the worrying about it that causes the issue. Before 24 i used to fall for some women and then after a month of being a shy guy ask them out and then get rejected. If you're interested in someone just ask them out, if they are a nice date ask them for another one. The one thing thats sort of stabbed me in the back is not doing enough dating before getting into any relationships (I've had 2 proper ones now). So i'd tell myself now to keep dating until i find someone who is worthy enough for me :p. Anything else just pm me man, ill be on here for a while since i have some messed up relationship issues of my own :p.

What worked for me was to concentrate on my career in my 20s before starting a relationship in my mid 30s.
The workplace is a good place to learn very basic relationship skills--can you get along with other workers and your boss. More importantly, can you avoid getting into bad relationships with your co-workers--being able to figure out when people are intentionally manipulating you into bad situations. While you can't always do something about this, these are very important skills to learn if you want to date.
At this time, it is a very good idea to learn about saving and investing. And keeping a reasonably clean and neat household. If you can do all that, and perhaps get promoted once or twice, you should be reasonably attractive dating material to someone.

Hi Andregor

This is exactly the problem i have been facing atm. I would think that I should date people i find interesting and then if there is some common bond then that can develop into a relationship. I find that by not declaring my interest off the bat was my problem in not securing those dates in the first place. However in retrospect things have gone fast for me in the two main relationships i have had and that is why one failed outright , and the other seems as though its going sour as we speak.

Your approach may be different to mine, if it works and its better maybe i should use it .

@Andreger
Or maybe it is not about the money but about the stability? Sure certain women are only interested in what they can get just like certain men. I think those sort of people will reveal their true nature quickly.

You said that you ask girls out after a few days/weeks, maybe that is to short of a time? Maybe you should try waiting longer until you know them better? Maybe some girls say no because it goes to quickly forward for them?

@Andreger
You are correct, love and relationships are not easy, but just because it takes longer for some people doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.