I just need some insight

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My boyfriend (or I guess he's my ex today) has always processed things very differently from me. I am not assuming that he has AS based on this but when I was questioning his behaviour and thought processes after our breakup I stumbled across this forum and found a bunch of people in a similar situation to mine. I'm just looking for some insight. Any changes or shift in our relationship is met with extreme anxiety on his part. Even being in a relationship he told me he felt like he didn't have a choice. (We've only been dating one month and been involved romantically for almost 3 years). I walked away from him three days ago and then he wanted us to work but Yesterday he broke up with me because he can't get over a small conflict we had two weeks ago he was almost in tears but I was expecting it . I couldn't understand why he could only focus on this incident rather than getting past it, why he is so emotionally wracked by things that normally wouldn't cause too many people to be distraught. After reading some posts I realized that I can want for him to see my side of things but he actually may not be capable of doing that and that I'm aware might be all that matters. So I messaged him letting him know that his feelings are valid and the way he processes things is valid because it works for him and I'm here if he needs me. Then this morning I told him that if he doesn't hate me in July I'll accept the bday gift he ordered for me because I wouldn't want it without us being together. I want to give him space so he feels comfortable with the decisions he's making, I don't want to pressure him but I do want him to know that I'm willing to work and accept his love in a way that's he's able to show it. Can anyone please tell me if too much space in this case can be a bad thing? When we first met 3 years ago I thought he might have AS but I never looked into the forums and he never brought it up, so I didn't want to assume. I love him he's my best friend and j hate being in this place I just want some insight please.

Hi and welcome

It sounds as though you're having quite some difficulties understanding your boyfriends (possible) Aspergers. Which is completely understandable as its a very complex and wide spectrum, with both similar and varying traits in each and every one of us.

I would like to recommend the following book as I've read both the one for males and the one for females, and I think it would help you to understand him better. It addresses common/likely difficulties in an NT/aspie relationship (nt means the non autistic people, aspie means autistic person) in an easy to read and understand way. And offers helpful insight, explanations, and possible solutions to deal with said difficulties.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Things-Woman-Mu ... udy+simone

Anyway, I hope this helps you somewhat, feel free to PM me if you have any questions,

All the best

Hello! Thank you for responding I'm buying the book for my kindle as we speak.

That's ok, let me know if it helps