To aspie or not to aspie

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So here's how the story goes. My long time exgirlfriend from high school has came back into my life. She is unhappily married at the moment, and looking to pick up were we left off 10 years ago.

She came back to me 6 years ago in a similar fashion (unhappy and in an abusive relationship) we were having a secrete relationship for months until the secrete got out, ending in a nasty confrontation with her boyfriend.... Needless to say that's the night it was all over for me and her. She chose him over me, and I was hurt badly.

Now I'm hoping things will be different. We've been upfront about still having feelings for eachother, and we both wish things had ended differently years back.

I've realized this time around that she is also an aspie. I'm not ignorant I can see so much of me in her behavior. Maybe this would highten the odds of having a happy relationship, or maybe hinder them? I'm unsure. All I know is we have a ton of similar interests including a passion for animals and nature.

I wanna say that having an aspie girlfriend will prevent causing her the ohso predictable disappointment due to lack of social needs and less need for intimacy.

Maybe you should make sure she leaves her marriage before you get too involved in her this time?

I'm afraid that ship has sailed. We are already involved intimately....she says I'm the only one she's ever done this with, says there's something about me she can't resist

I hope it works out this time, even if I have some doubts about it. Especially if you only like each other again after having sex, which is kind of shallow to me. If it was me, I'd require a lot more than sex in order to attach and obsess over a girl again.

Thanks for the hopeful optimism, I'm really hoping it works out this time too. How do I get that spark we had when we first met back? Or is that slmething that just fades with time.

Like I said we have common interests and personality types (probabaly somewhat due to being aspie), so we have that going for us, but I feel I'm a completely different person than I was 10 years ago.

Maybe I don't even know who I am. That's the hardest part. I don't want to be all alone but at times when I have to describe myself, I'll literally have nothing to give. That could be the depression that I'm just recently recovering from though.

Any advice on rekindling an old burnt out relationship? Btw I dumped her because I believed her sister when she said she was sleeping with another man. It all turned out to be total BS but I didn't find out the truth for another 10 years, because I was so bitter I didnt couldn't even tell her my reason for cutting her loose. She won't let me forget that one either...

It might be possible, but if there is bitterness and hard feelings it's much harder to do. For me, if I forced myself to get out of an attachment with anger, I feel I wouldn't be able to undo that. That would be more or less permanent. I could (actually did) continue to obsess over a girl even if we had no contact for 10 years, but that only worked because there was no anger or bitterness involved.

I'd say you both need to get the bitterness out of your systems, and forget what could have been and concentrate on the future.