WHAT WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT DO ASPIE MEN NEED TO HEAR?

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Does anyone have ideas for words to encourage an aspie man. I assume that they need the same kind of words at NT males. But are there specific things or words that would be more meaningful to them.

I don't need any. I strongly dislike those kinds of things. If you do it, make sure it is at least sincere and called for, and not just a social game. Might be ok to push somebody to do something they are reluctant to do though.

Its sounds odd why don't an aspie can't be encouraged and nt can...?

I think it has more to do that some (maybe even many?) don't like it. I think words are cheap, and what counts is what people do, so thus all kinds of verbal "sweet-talking" is kind of suspicious. I immediately start to think "what is this person up to, what do they want?". Because in my world, these kind of things are often social games, and not sincere.

Please refrain from using all capital letters in the subject lines of your posts.

Thank you.

I would tell the guy how cute he looks, how smart he is, how you're acquiring a new perspective on life because of his special interests.

I agree, and I am the same way. I do not like flattery and I am a very sincere person. I am also not very good at letting people know when they are doing something good. ACTIONS are 1000% value compared to words. I guess my question relates to aspies that seem to have some insecurities and need a little re-assurance. I would never say something that I didn't sincerely mean to anyone. Perhaps the question should have been ie: What are some of the insecurities that aspie men face?

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Yes . . . that is what I was looking for . . . thank you. And, he sincerely is all of those things.

I agree. An all cap title seems like yelling.

Baffled does seem to be baffled by the use of forums. I find it amusing and ironic



This is not always a good assumption. He might, or he might not. It really depends on the person.

Whatever you do decide to say to him, make sure it is sincere.

EDIT: Sincerity means a different thing for us than it does for many NTs. For us, sincerity means that whatever words you speak must be what you mean. The tone and body language and so on are mostly irrelevant, since we rarely see them.

Meaning what is being said is far better than just words.

"Don`t worry, I still like/love you"

"Don`t worry this is not about you"

ie. being really clear that when a friend/partner/colleague has a problem or issue that its not about you.
(unless sit is of course!... then be straight to the point) To help stop all the double/triple guessing and allow you to help contribute.

"I appreciate/admire your qualities/ special abilities/knowledge"

eg honesty, ability to offer practical solutions, expertise in your areas of interest. etc etc etc

A lot of things would be encouraging, at least to me. I realize, however, that saying them might require the woman to be as daring as I'd have to be to approach her, or more.

If I were to hear something as simple as the lyrics of Saturday Night unambiguously addressed to me (and I'd be really mortified if I overenthusiastically replied, only to find out it was meant for someone behind me, for example), ... well, I don't know how I'd reäct, but the rational thing to do would be to rub my eyelids and pinch my nose, to see whether I can still breathe through it---which would mean I'm dreaming.

EXACTLY . . . . AGREED!

This is PERFECT . . . that is my goal to contribute in a positive way. Thank you!