Dating Site Recommendations

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Hey, I'm a 29 year old man living in the Boston/Cambridge area.

For a while now, I've been trying to meet people through social sites like OkCupid, with limited success. Getting dates through OkCupid isn't too hard, though girls get a lot of messages and it can be difficult to stand out among the other men. Still, I can't seem to find the right person there, and I'm starting to wonder if such a girl would even be on the site at all.

I've tried a lot of search terms, from those related to my specific interests (film, plays/musicals, creative writing) to personality traits that I think might signify a good match. Despite that, the girls I find seem to mostly be the typical, college-educated 20-something girl who likes going to bars and has a million selfies, rather than the somewhat more artistic, introspective, and wry personality that I think would suit me more.

And that's not even considering the quirks of personality that affect people like us, and make relationships all the more challenging. It's pretty disheartening when someone who seemed to like you online meets you in person, and you can tell from their behavior that they've recognized something "off" about you that maybe wasn't clear in your profile.

It makes me wonder if there are perhaps other sites that are better suited for men and women like us, where we can find dating prospects who are actually looking for people like us. Any recommendations?

I have tried a handful, and OkCupid seems to be the best overall by far. I figure that the site is the same as in real life: you have to wade through a lot of duds before you find the right person. Also similarly to real life: you will have a lot of "typical" people, and very few who are truly unique. In my area for example, there are probably thousands of potential matches on the site, but once you narrow it down to those I might be compatible with, it's probably less than a dozen. A few suggestions I would have:

1.) Be completely honest in your profile, but obviously don't reveal anything overly personal such as having AS
2.) Don't be afraid to look at people with somewhat lower match %. Sometimes it is simply due to them not having answered very many questions, or having a single question that doesn't agree with yours. It's usually fairly easy to tell if someone would be a decent match by reading their profile.
3.) Try to focus your energy on those you have a fair amount in common with, rather than messaging, as you say, the typical 20-something bar hoppers.
4.) In general, I find that the less time someone has spent in online dating, the better. When people spend too much time on it, they start to treat relationships and dating more like shopping on amazon.com and less like connecting with a living, breathing human being. Most of my best experiences on the site were with people who were new to online dating and hadn't met many people from it yet.

As for me, I don't really use dating websites. I used Tinder on my iPhone some time ago. It worked totally great for me! As far as I know, my elder brother used British https://www.benaughty.com/ website. He found his Russian girlfriend there, she is cool really, they are very happy together. I guess, this website can be trusted too.

There are hundreds of different dating websites (e.g. http://www.agreaterdate.com/ , http://www.alldatingwebsites.com/ , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison ... g_websites ). If one of them is not working for you, take and few weeks off and then try a different one. Just be sure to search for and read reviews of a dating website before you sign up for it (e.g. http://www.alldatingwebsites.com/dir/da ... e-reviews/ ), because some of them are run by unscrupulous people. Keep in mind that no dating website is perfect, and many people find online dating to be difficult, so do not expect any miracles.