Female here, looking for insight

Post Reply New Topic

Here's the situation fellas. I'm not exactly fresh off the shelf and my family of origin basically abused the life out of me. I'm damaged goods. I'm a wreck. And I'm hot, smokin' hot. Nobody knows how smart I am because I'm cute and act like a little girl and LOOK like a little girl. Let's face it, it's a mess.

I met this guy online, OKCupid. He has Klinefelter's syndrome. 47-XXY. NO he is NOT a hermaphrodite. His balls just didn't really develop and he's sterile. Normal sized penis, just tiny balls. Also still has 10 baby teeth, is freakishly tall and has an IQ less than half mine (which I like) and is very shy, has had bad luck with women and I'm not even sure if he had actually penetrated anyone before me. Yes, we have already had sex.

So the problem is, I'm used to being led on, I take things literally... combine to form situations where he tells me he's coming to see me and then neither comes nor texts because he's sleeping bc he's sick or there's a legit emergency. All forgivable, just it KEEPS HAPPENING and it drives me crazy! I don't even need him to come over! I like being alone, I just don't want to be told something will happen and then it doesn't.

Also, he lives with his sister and two nephews. Kinda suspicious except her husband killed himself last year and my bf has a HUGE tattoo commemorating his late brother-in-law's life. I know ppl cheat, but they don't disrespect the dead like that. He takes a lot from Catholicism and his heritage and has his late grandma's name on his other arm.

Part of me thinks I'm being taken for a ride. Part of me thinks I should trust this guy implicitly and be patient. He is a catch, very sweet. He's a bit female and I'm a bit male. I'm ultra intelligent, he's a caveman. It's really lovely being with him when he does come to see me. He lives in the next town over and is poor. I think he loves me very much. Just how do I cope with this communication problem? With this being literal problem? With this being damaged problem?

He's not on the spectrum but he's hardly NT. I think I can trust the men here and all of us being different, maybe you can offer me some desperately needed insight.

The fact that this happens often should be a huge red flag. No one cops out like that unless they don't want to be with someone.

If he can't communicate with you it's probably a waste of time, but it's not to say you two are a loss, you can work on it.. but don't put all your eggs in his basket saying you love him if you aren't sure about it working out.

I agree. If someone really wants to be with you, they will go out of their way to do so. It's understandable that things can come up that will cause a change of plans, but this shouldn't be happening on a regular basis. He sounds kinda flaky to me.

Also, I'm not sure what you are implying about the whole living with his sister, and tattoo thing. It doesn't sound too out of the ordinary to me, unless there are some other things going on that you didn't mention.