Why do girls stop messaging me? Need advice

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darkphantomx1
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11 Jun 2015, 9:17 pm

So iv'e been going to this popular forum site for the past month or so and iv'e been messaging around 3 or 4 girls at some different time.

I try talking to them, I try asking questions, I try to keep the conversation going but they all eventually stop replying back and just quit talking to me. It's frustrating because I don't know what i'm doing wrong.

Any advice would be appreciated.



izzeme
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12 Jun 2015, 2:19 am

i'll assume the site in question is one aimed at meeting people for dating and the like.

in this case, it's likely becouse you are too "slow", apparantly, you are supposed to at least start to arrange a physical meeting after you send about 4 decent-length messages (each); if you take longer, you are assumed to not be really interested and ignored from that point on.

I have made this same mistake myself, several times.



GiantHockeyFan
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12 Jun 2015, 6:26 am

It could also be the simple fact you are just dealing with flaky girls in general: you could be God himself and nothing would change. I speak from years of experience that online sites are LOADED with them! I agree you need to be more aggressive in meeting in person but that doesn't change the fact that girls (and guys) online are generally flaky and ambivalent. Might as well get used to it unfortunately.



darkphantomx1
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12 Jun 2015, 8:58 am

Screw women! I'm getting myself a nice robot who will love me for who I am.



goldfish21
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12 Jun 2015, 1:51 pm

Hard to tell w/o reading the conversations.

ie You might be making communication errors like answering a direct question but then not asking an open ended question in return to keep the flow of conversation going.

Or like someone else posted, it could be a timing thing.. ie you miss the cue to ask for a phone number or meeting and so the conversation goes nowhere.


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12 Jun 2015, 2:51 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Screw women! I'm getting myself a nice robot who will love me for who I am.

As rude as it sounds and I don't mean any harm to you in any way, you've stated in the past that you are very short for a male, something like 5"1 or 5"2 if I remember correctly and statistically speaking, a lot of women don't value men who are at that height highly for relationship purposes as it's been scientifically proven in the past and proven by many members on this board, so my guess is that could be a part of the reason why they stopped messaging you.

Which is not morally correct, but humanity in general and especially in the past (middle ages, torture devices ect...), never was.

Unless they've never seen a picture of you ever, then it's a different case.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2015, 3:14 pm

^ You can't tell height from pictures.

But yeah, I have faced date cancellations after they learn of my height. Don't ever think it's not a huge, even almost uphill disadvantage in dating.

In the other thread, I said I rarely notice short fit guys with similarly shorter fit girls, I see them more often with really chubby girls, even with fat.

Short guys are equivalent to fat girls, and not to the short girls (even if they are shorter than you).



goldfish21
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12 Jun 2015, 3:26 pm

While it's true that height can be a factor, it's not everything.

Have a look over to Hollywood for examples. MANY celebrity men are quite short & they seem to have no problems with the ladies. Social skills/status/money/power/attitude/charisma/charm etc are all far more important than height ever will be.

I personally know a guy who is 5'7" tall and has been with more women than anyone else I've ever met. (more than 1,000. True story.) (Although I know a gay guy who's been with more men, but that's different.) Height is only as big a disadvantage in dating/relationships/sex as your own thoughts about it allow it to be.


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12 Jun 2015, 3:34 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ You can't tell height from pictures.

But yeah, I have faced date cancellations after they learn of my height. Don't ever think it's not a huge, even almost uphill disadvantage in dating.

In the other thread, I said I rarely notice short fit guys with similarly shorter fit girls, I see them more often with really chubby girls, even with fat.

Short guys are equivalent to fat girls, and not to the short girls (even if they are shorter than you).

It's sort of like being narrow framed, extremely babyfaced, asian, bald or having manboobs.

it destroys your sexual appeal by at least 75%, if not more.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2015, 3:42 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
While it's true that height can be a factor, it's not everything.

Have a look over to Hollywood for examples. MANY celebrity men are quite short & they seem to have no problems with the ladies. Social skills/status/money/power/attitude/charisma/charm etc are all far more important than height ever will be.

I personally know a guy who is 5'7" tall and has been with more women than anyone else I've ever met. (more than 1,000. True story.) (Although I know a gay guy who's been with more men, but that's different.) Height is only as big a disadvantage in dating/relationships/sex as your own thoughts about it allow it to be.



Why tall guys always revert to extraordinary talented and rich celeb examples?

That's very stupid.

Not all of us can be Tom Cruise.

I am a socially awkward and socially inept one like everyone here - and I am no celeb nor I think dark is.

And 5'7" is fine, not really considered 'short'... I am 5'3! 162cm! Almost shorter even than the national female average height (Some studies show it's 160 cm but in more credible sources it says 165cm) , huge difference; and I will be getting shorter with age - also I have scoliosis, which doesn't help to make you look taller.

Half of females in my surrounding are taller than me, and yes, women do take the heel into account. So you can easily assume that 50% of females won't even consider me, even the ones who are of my height would re-think about it, and think about the heels thing.
The rest would still have access to taller guys- and yes short girls like tall guys, it's not uncommon to see a very very short girl with a tower guy, so I am left with a tiny %.



darkphantomx1
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12 Jun 2015, 4:01 pm

You're right I do have some physical disadvantages when it comes to dating. I'm not a fat guy at all, i'm just 5 ft 2 and skinny and I have an okay face but not an attractive face and I have a somewhat of a big head and a weird voice and awkward demeanor. My face isn't that ugly but because i'm so short, it really makes me less attractive. If I was 5 ft 10, I would be much more attractive no doubt about it.

Not only do I have some physical disadvantages but also social disadvantages because of my autism. Iv'e never had a girlfriend, hell iv'e never even gotten a girls number. I don't understand the rules of flirting, I am absolutely clueless when a girl likes me back and even if I knew, i'd be too scared. I'm too scared to take the initiative and ask a girl out. I absolutely have no idea what to say to keep a conversation going. Even if a girl did fancy me, she'd quickly move on.

The truth is, i'm going to be single for a while because I was dealt a bad hand genetic-wise.



Last edited by darkphantomx1 on 12 Jun 2015, 4:11 pm, edited 3 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2015, 4:05 pm

Few weeks ago, I was talking with a girl on viber I've met on okcupid, and she pushed for a date to be arranged on Sunday (no, not the same clingy Asian girl, this one is local) - She was SO EAGER - and then during the conversation she asked me 'how tall are you btw'? (even tho it's stated in my profile lol...they never think to check...never) - so when I told her she was like "oh....ah..hmm....ok." :lol:, she turned out like she's 1 cm taller ; then I changed the topic because it felt so awkward.

Then, on Saturday evening, she texted me telling something come up so she won't make it ....bla bla. :lol: yeah, right. Puff eagerness.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 12 Jun 2015, 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

darkphantomx1
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12 Jun 2015, 4:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Few weeks ago, I was talking with a girl on viber I've met on okcupid, and she pushed for a date to be arranged on Sunday (no, not the same clingy Asian girl, this one is local) - She was SO EAGER - and then during the conversation she asked me 'how tall are you btw'? (even tho it's stated in my profile lol...they never think to check...never) - so when I told her she was like 'oh....ah..hmm....ok.", she turned out like she's 1 cm taller :lol:; then I changed the topic because it felt so awkward.

Then, on Saturday evening, she texted me telling something come up so she won't make it ....bla bla. :lol: yeah, right. Puff eagerness.


Surely some girls don't mind you're only 5 ft 3 right? I mean there has to be some girls.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2015, 4:10 pm

I may be socially ret*d, but not too ret*d to understand what the "oh....ah..hmm....ok" really means.



goldfish21
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12 Jun 2015, 4:17 pm

The 5'7" guy in my story is not a celebrity.

Sure, not everyone can be Tom Cruise, but just a regular guy with a positive attitude/charm/charisma etc goes a LOT further than you think. It's not your height that constrains you from getting girls, it's what you THINK and believe about your height that does that.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2015, 4:45 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
The 5'7" guy in my story is not a celebrity.


Taking a 5'7" as an example to prove something to 5'2/5'3 guys, is like taking a slightly chubby girl as example to demonstrate how it doesn't matter to a very obese one, are you kidding me? If you see 5'7" as short, then that only indicates how inadequately short society sees us.

Quote:
It's not your height that constrains you from getting girls, it's what you THINK and believe about your height that does that.


It's not everything, but you're still naive, you didn't read my real life example there? This happens a lot.