If I were hot or an NT, which would have made a difference?

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I have been told by women I'm average looking (I actually might be less than that). I always have wondered if I were hot and still an Aspie, if I would be more successful than if I were average/mediocre looking and an NT.

My guess is that if I were hot, I'd have more women interested in me at first, but not remaining so. Conversely, if I were an NT, I probably would have had a few girlfriends, even if they were lesser attractive ones.

If you were neurotypical, you'd be a fundamentally different person. You'd need new genes which can't be inferred from your own. Therefore, there's no neurotypical version of you.

Let's put it this way. If you were 6 ft 2 and well built with a decent looking face, you would definitely attract women. Girls love tall skinny guys as much as guys love skinny chicks. The majority of men however have some sort of physical flaw that makes us less then ideal. And attractive people are more likely to be forgiven for their personality flaws.


But yeah it sucks to be autistic, at least in terms of dating. Being autistic and trying to date is like my Grandma trying to play Call of Duty online. We both suck and have no idea what we're doing. Most autistic guys are at a disadvantage when trying to woo the ladies but it doesn't mean you're completely screwed. Just don't date the drunk college chicks who only want to hook up with the hot alpha males who have amazing flirting skills. You'll get laughed out of the first date.

What you think of yourself actually would make a huge difference.
I didn't even know the definition of flirting ALL throughout high-school, yet girls were attracted to me even if I wasn't necessarly approached (and in one class I was in I was told by one of the girls that ALL of the girls in the class liked me but being Autistic & all I never really thought to become any kind of womaniser back in the day), and no I wasn't tall or any Hitler-approved Aryan-looking blonde-haired blue-eyed pretty-boy, but I sure did get much attention (part of this was from doing near-acrobatic-level style free-style break-like-dancing when attending some of those dance-functions & always talking about I great I was !).

Were I to travel back & forth through time again & re-do what I did, I would choose to keep all of my prior & subsequent memories & experiences if possible, then I would probably bust out some moves & jam to some 80's & 90's type free-style electronic dance-music... such as the following...

...then if I were one of the girls I'd see if I could get some other girls together for the dances seen from the 2:05 minute or so & onward mark...

Hey graduate122.

Does it really matter? If I were you, I would stop focusing on the "what ifs" and work on improving myself.

..." Hottie Or Nottie " ?
Myself , I've wanted to do " Homeless Or Hosteller ? " , after the earlier " Homeless Or Hipster? " ! ...........

If I was hardcore NT, I probably would have had lesser-quality partners*, as the really good ones wouldn't be interested in me, just as I'm not interested in hardcore NT people as partners.

Similarly if I was super hot...the really mentally attractive people* probably would have avoided me.


*to me, not in general. But then if I was NT I'd have a different opinion of what a high-quality partner was...scary thought.

Very difficult to answer, no? I thought of this before, but now realise that this is somewhat... irrelevant.

First of, the term "hot", which I will assume to be "attractive", is highly relative. You heard of the old cliché: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Speaking from personal experience, I am able to perhaps see... beauty in many forms. I remember a colleague called "ugly" behind her back. Strange, as while she is, in my eyes, not the most physically attractive, her personality and sense of humour way outclasses that aspect to the point that her looks are irrelevant.
My best friend: she may be perhaps classed as "fat" by our current, unhealthy standards. I see her as a beautiful, genuine, powerfully built girl with again, a great personality. Another is a bit annoyed that she has a red face; always mistaken as blushing. I find her utterly gorgeous. This list can go on and even include male friends and colleagues. Tall, short, buff, dainty, there are beauty in many forms.


So in short, I think it wouldn't have make much of a difference. Sure, you might attract more shallow people which you would sooner cast aside yourself for their utter lack of substance, their narcissism.

People who can look past the surface are the ones worth having around. Sadly, there aren't many of them. But that is what makes them so special.

P.S. I found that people that are mentally stimulating to be with are usually quite pretty... (or maybe I have already learnt to ignore visual bias?!)

If I didn't have such bad social anxiety around girls and I wasn't autistic, I definitely would have had a couple of girlfriends by now. I guarantee you that.