How to ask out someone who is asexual?

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Me and my best friend have known each other for three years, and I've liked him for two and a half of those years. I've posted about our relationship before asking for advice, but I was too afraid to tell him I liked him.

Recently we talked about our sexuality a little bit. I came out to him as bisexual, but also told him even though I was interested in dating, I didn't really care much for sex. It was a little scary and awkward, but he was really supportive. He didn't really say what his sexuality was, and I didn't press him on it. But I'm pretty sure he could be asexual.

Ever since I've told him he's been flirting with me. He used to flirt with me occasionally, but whenever I'd try to flirt with him he'd pull back. Now though when I flirt with him he reciprocates. We've also started having more physical interaction, doing things like playing footsie, playing with each other's hands, and leaning up against each other or letting our legs touch.

I was feeling so confident I tried to hug him, but I stupidly did it in front of other people and he got embarrassed and was like "not now". I've hugged him in the past, but he mentioned he thought it was weird so I stopped. Then he told me later that I could hug him if I wanted to, and he tried to hug me once after that but I wouldn't let him.

I think if I tell him I like him he would still be my friend no matter what happened, but I feel like if I word things wrong he might not want to date me, even though I'm almost positive he "likes likes" me. I want to make it clear I'm looking for a romantic relationship but not a sexual one... But I don't know how to word it without it sounding weird... All I want are hugs, the occasional cuddle, and maybe a kiss one day if he feels comfortable with it (he's also a major germaphobe, so I don't know if he'd be into kissing or not).

Everybody says I should just say "I like you", but with the age group we are in I'm afraid he might think that means I want sex from him and he might not like that. I personally don't care for sex one way or the other, I'd go along with whatever he wants.

Any advice on how I should ask him? In case you were wondering, he has aspergers, I may or may not.

I learned that sometimes things only sound weird because we are not used to tell the facts. Instead of asking my (aspie) boyfriend if he liked me, I bluntly asked him ''Would you like to be in a monogamous long-term romantic relationship with me ?''.

So maybe you could actually ask him if he would like to be in a romantic relationship with you but not a sexual one.

Not sure either, but I'm getting more and more convinced that if you are asexual, and want to meet somebody that is not much interested in sex, a good way is to let the contact phase last for a while. This works because sexual people want to get sex as soon as possible, and the longer they fancy you without you giving them sex, the higher the chances they don't expect a lot of sex in a relationship. That means you don't date them, as dating implies sex after a few dates.

Of course, an alternative way is to negotiate it verbally: I'm asexual, and I only want a romantic relationship without sex.

You already told him you don't care much for sex so I don't think telling him you like him or asking him out would make him think you want him for sex.

Well... I just told him I was bi-romantic. I didn't really go into the sex thing in more detail that. I feel like maybe I should explain it better, but I don't know how. I'm not even sure he knows what "bi-romantic" means.

By contact phase do you mean flirting and such? In which case ours has lasted for about 2 1/2 years. Lol

This is pretty much what I was thinking of doing... He sometimes has trouble initiating things, and I'm afraid if I just told him I like him and left it at that, he wouldn't know where to go from there. But, I also don't want to put pressure on him for an answer, especially as being pressured to answer people's questions is something that really bothers him... *sigh*

I suppose I could ask him, but let him know he can respond whenever he's ready?

I think all the romantic orientations are kind of misnomers, as romantic love and pair-bonding are exaptations of the infant-caregiver systems that don't have any gender orientation.

Still, I know people use them, but I don't find them valid.

Yes, and I think that sexual labeling is both over simplifying and over complicating things at the same time, in that love is the same pretty much no matter who you love, and that all people have different preferences when it comes to love and sex.

That being said, I feel like when talking about your sexuality it's the norm to use labels, and it generally makes things a bit easier to explain. But, maybe not in this particular case? Oh, well, it's always something we can talk about again. Although to be honest, I feel awkward talking about sex no matter who I'm having the conversation with. It makes me feel awkward and squirmy.