Aspies Who Live Like Or Perhaps Are NT's + My Unwanted Envy

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I'll shamelessly admit that (if just because of the declining circumstances over the last few years which put me in such positions of vulnerability and cravings) I'd like to get some attention (even ion here) just to know that others can briefly know I exist outside of my sometimes interesting yet often sheltered life. For some of the below points, you are an aspie (or perhaps you just think you are) and you're getting this- how/why???
For others (though sometimes I think only female NT's are allowed to be on aspie-only forums) you're an NT and you get enough of it (not all of course) your own way in the end or from the start.

It's somewhat depressing, saddening and (dare I say it for the risk of sounding like an attention/pitty seeker) pathetic that I made repeat visits to the health & beauty sections of various stores I was doing merchandising calls on (or just places where there were often more women that men), briefly interacted with some amazingly beautiful and or shapely girls of ultimate desire (some of which had seemingly nice personalities and of which I got on with fairly well) and yet in many cases I'd bet all of this was just part of the professionalism to get along with store visitors as indeed I saw some of them do after with their customers, so I'm not so special and naturally not appealing to them in any such way as to be able to perhaps make a play for some romance (how you'd actually do that without looking like the idiot I felt like is beyond me, so naturally nothing was done, even though I genuinely complimented some of them and received fairly positive responses/acknowledgement). I'd have done anything just to have walked away with one of their phone numbers in the genuine belief they actually (in whatever way women want this to go) wanted something to progress. But of the percentage that were actually single, once you then factor in all the myriad of other reasons to be rejected I naturally come back with zero (like always). At least unlike online dating you can feel like you're not specifically going there to desperately try and get someone and the feelings (and indeed their image) is short lived as you leave it all behind to go onto the next store. I see all these couples (some of which with guys looking as average as me) and yet there some of them are with a woman I'd think "hmm...someone's done well and punched above his weight with, shame I can't get first refusal for that in my life".

I can't do 'guy chats/things'.
So basically those typical conversations guys will have with each-other, joking around, drinking, talking about girls etc. If I were in a group then I'd be funny at times, somewhat liked (if just to a point) but always intimidated and left out when it came to any interactions of a social kind with women.
I share some interests with them yet there will never be any interest or much interaction with me because of these hugely restrictive social limitations.

I've almost never had girls as friends in my entire life much less an actual girlfriend, nor have any (in adult life) cared about me or done anything more than offer basic acknowledgement, interest, respect and conversation.
I don't really know how they see/feel/think about me (and unfortunately such understanding or an ability to actually consciously think about this is beyond most NT's anyway as well as borderline aspies).

Financially Hopeless
My job(s) haven't been that bad, but it's taking me ages to try and get close to be anything close to management level, never really have access to the ideal kind of money I know other normal people do (and without being sexist it's even worse seeing women my age or younger in such positions).

Socialising and general chit chat and banter
Unless there's specific things to talk about (Eastenders, certain political issues, technology/philosophical topics, films/TV) I can't really hold a conversation as I've discovered most people don't talk about anything in particular and they don't constantly have to ask questions like I do or do anything to desperately get or keep a conversation going. It's frustrating seeing possible opportunities for some meaningless socializing with someone at work or a total stranger, but those chance encounters where they say something to me (things that to me just seem like irrelevant comments/conversation) rarely go answered with anything more than a vague smile or me saying 'uhh, yerr'. Occasionally I do have something relevant or even comical to respond with, but not that often. I'd possibly like to actually meet some aspies, thatd be nice

Becoming more aspie as time went on (Age 10-21)
I've found it harder and harder the older I've got to socialize and haven't made an actual friend (as in someone you'd speak to and see outside of work) since I was 16 (11yrs ago). Talking to girls, being attractive to a few of them and generally making friends with guys- all things that were easy but became harder and harder from age 11-21 after which it just became nigh on impossible for so many reasons (all of which I could actually recall and list).

I couldn't even if I wanted to;
Have sexual partners/experiences (not all at once obviously)- being an aspie is possibly responsible for my wide and in some cases extreme range of tastes in everything, so there's women of all those shapes, sizes, ages (legal of course) and races that I could never hope to do any of the myriad of things (conventional and less conventional) with. All those scenarios you hear about on the radio shows, see in fictional programs and hear about from others directly. The truth of course is that I'd prefer not to feel I need/want these at all, or anything related to love.
And seriously- how the hell do the words 'aspie' and 'NT' or 'aspie' and 'flirting' even make it into the same sentences of forums and articles etc- are you just good looking aspies with social defects, aspies with infinite luck, aspies who are actually mostly NT or am I just worse off and a rarer kind of non functioning aspie?

I wonder if I'm a typically kind-hearted person because I want to be, or because I feel I have to be.