Talking to asperger

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Hello,
Came on here to learn about aspergers and advice. I've fallen in love with a man on the internet who is aspergers but I'm not sure how to approach him. I'm on his facebook page and have briefly spoken to him on it. He meets a lot of people in his work and I understand he's single. I can't stop thinking about him.
I've been polite to him before, and recently sent him another message. What's the best way to get him to notice me? How can I flirt with him online?

I'm a neurotypical woman with social anxiety.

I'm an NT dating an Aspie who didn't know he was one till after we were together...so I didn't have the help (or pressure) of trying to find out the right way for Aspie vs the right way in general. However, I do know - both from being with him and from learning elsewhere - that most Aspies don't pick up on hints well. So, if you like him, you've got 2 options: tell him you do, and let him respond as he will, or try to make him "fall in like" with you instead. First option is easier, but if you're traditional enough to want the man to do the initiating, then hang on tight for the 2nd option. As you'll see if you browse the "Love & Dating" section on here, a lot of Aspie guys are very hesitant to make a move to move things further, since their (sometimes) lack of knowledge of social norms can at times come across as creepy and they don't want to freak out the person they like. So, it's likely to be awhile before this guy would actually tell you he likes you.

My advice to you would be to just build a friendship, and then once you know him more, you'll know how best to approach the topic of something beyond friendship with him. You say you've fallen in love with him online and that you recently sent him a message (singular). It sounds like you don't know him that well. I'd just try to get to know him and see where things lead.

I think Lilla made some good points. How exactly did you meet him online?

Hi,

Thank you so much Lilla. I think you're right and the second option sounds better, as I'm too shy to just tell him, lol. I want to build a friendship with him. I've made some comments on his timeline that he's liked and I get the feeling he's not always quick to "like".
It's a long story but I met him on Youtube when he was in a film. I located him on FB and added him to my list. H says he's single and doesn't appear to have anyone serious. I really really like him.
I hope something positive comes out of this

No. You've fallen in love with a man who HAS Asperger's Syndrome.

Expect him to notice your lack of knowledge concerning the difference between identity and disability.

Geeze dude lol I gotta admit I found your reaction pretty funny. I really don't think she meant anything by it. Just like you might struggle with the social norms in a group of NT's, I don't think she's been around here long enough to know the social norms around WP....

Her improper verb use isn't funny at all. It has nothing to do with "social norms" and everything to do with identifying people by their condition.

Did she fall in love with Asperger's Syndrome (as her post implies), or with the man who has it?

Or is English not her first language?

Last edited by Fnord on 22 Aug 2015, 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Or maybe you just suck at answering peoples questions and lack the ability to look past the little discrepancies with they're verbage...ya I said verbage and used the wrong "they're" in the same sentence. How you like me now?

Never did. Never will. Deal with it.

Neither.


the object of her desires.



OT: take a look in these threads:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=291570&start=15

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=291099&p=6726368#p6726368

Oh er sorry for the lack of spelling

There's no way Fnord will ever be interested in going out with me then Just kidding

Thanks for the feedback! x

LOL Wrong guess. That isn't him

So exactly does one go about pursuing people on youtube, I've got about 100 girls on here I'm in love with:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m67PL6LqLoA

This is not "fell in love". This is "developed a crush". With that in mind, get to know him as friends. Some Aspies are not as chatty and may not be interested in small talk (my partner is one of those - he has no interest in chatting about the weather for a few weeks to get to know someone ), so not sure the exact "how to" of getting to know him over Facebook, but just focus on getting to know him as a person. If once you truly know him you still have a crush on him, then it could at that point develop into love, but it's not love right now. It's just infatuation. More like fangirl than lover. But it could have great potential, whether as friendship or romance, so try to be friendly with him and then see what happens.

It's highly unlikely, I'll give you that, but I don't think it's your place to tell someone what they're feeling....jus saying