Do NT girls have to iniate a date with Aspie Man?

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Do NT girls have to initiate a date with Aspie Man? This is my question. Do Aspie Men ever Initiate Dating? I am not a girl that wants to initiate. Clear interest is shown to me by an Aspie Man, but he will not initiate a date, he wants to talk on the phone/email. Is this normal? What is the best way to approach an Aspie man for a date? Are they too shy or awkward . . . . Clueless sums it up . . . but then, I am equally as clueless because I don't know what to do?

All help from Aspie Men appreciated . . .

Aspie men are significantly less likely to initiate than an NT, so it may be up to you. If you do, its probably best you do so by asking him out to somewhere very quiet, away from crowds and not too public.

Maybe he just wants to be friends.

^I'm pretty sure that's not what clear interest means...

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Speaking from kind of from experience here...

Obviously not true for all Aspies, but some of us (definitely me) are so... clueless that our way of showing interest may not be on the same page as NTs. My crush thought I just wanted to be friends...

And I also can't read non-verbal communication well. Apparently, I went out with my friends, and they swear that a friend of a friend was trying to chat me up. It went all over my head. I only noticed how strangely talkative she was... Chances are that it may be the same case with him.

So maybe you have to ask if he is interested...

Results will depend on the individual, because (hypothetical) if my crushed did just that, I might freak out...

He might, he might never, I guess it depends on how interested you are in this guy. For me personally at this point I probably wouldn't initiate since I can't read the cues and I don't trust my own senses or other people, clueless is right. I just don't have the confidence or self esteem to believe anybody would be genuinely interested if they knew my life so there is no point putting on an act.

Everybody's different, but the best advice I can give is if you want him to ask you out, your best bet is making it blatantly obvious that you're interested in him romantically. Are you dropping any hints at all? Even so, many Aspies have difficulty picking up on hints, but he's much less likely to ask you out if he's not sure you like him.

Speaking only for myself; confidence isn't only attractive in guys, and if you want him out, I think that's the approach with the highest likelihood of success.

Speaking from personal experience; initiating as an aspie guy takes a lot of courage, and knowing that your ability to interpret the "normal"* cues for a girl being interested is compromised, you prefer waiting for a more obvious cue to acting on insufficient data.


*("subtle" to most, "invisible unless pointed out" to many aspies)

Aspie men can initiate, but they need 'clear indications of interest' from the woman first.
The problem is that those indications for ASDs are different from those for an NT: your normal non-verbal indicators will not work; they will get misinterpreted of missed completely.

During online dating, interest is more obvious, but in the real world, knowing if someone is single and 'willing', let alone interested is all but inpossible for us.

initiating as the girl is the easiest way to get with an aspie man, but is you want him to ask, at least tell him so: clearly and directly

why not an aspie man take initiate date.one of my friend was an aspie he was taken initiate for date.

Aspie-Men are late-bloomers, when it comes to actually being ready for a relationship.
For the most-part although there are always exceptions to every rule or generalisation.

Additionally, for most Aspie-men, due to their inexperience with the ladies, you have to kind of teach them what they need to be doing to/with you in order to make progress with you.

You also need to keep doing more follow-ups until you've « trained » your man well until he's automatically doing the things to you that you want him to do without you needing to initiate with any kind of suggestive-comments.

You could also just blatantly ask him how would he feel if you two were in a relationship together or if it would be of interest to him. Believe it or not this might just be the easiest way to get into a relationship with an Aspie right away (many Aspies are not necessarily going to be interested in the ritual of dating to acknowledge a relationship). Seriously, you can just ask him if he'd be opposed to letting you call him your boyfriend, and if he's not against that idea, then let him know right there on the spot, that you have decided to take him for your boyfriend, starting right at that moment, and that it therefore makes you his girlfriend (easiest transition into boyfriend/girlfriend-relationship... like that's really all it takes sometimes).

Maybe he fears being rejected by you, more then he wants to roll the dice and ask you out. Fear can drive people to do a lot of irrational things, even to throw away a perfectly good opportunity because they let their subjective interpretation of a situation, dictate their objective reality. Maybe he's confident enough in how he feels about you, but isn't so confident in how *he thinks* you feel about him. Maybe he's waiting for permission, to know that this is somewhere he can progress your relationship to. Who knows.

But that's only talking about him. There's also you, and what you want. And if you want to be with him, go for it.

Seems like it's the best way to remove the doubt that he may be abusing you. We've been told so many times we have no business showing interest in women it doesn't feel right to do it, at least to me.