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physical attraction less important with time

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cathylynn
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11 Sep 2015, 10:44 pm

http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... um=twitter



cathylynn
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11 Sep 2015, 11:37 pm

people who know each other for a while before dating are less likely to be of similar physical attractiveness. so if you're after a hotty and you're just average, invite them to do non-date things that show your good side.



Britte
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12 Sep 2015, 12:14 am

This would not apply to me, as I initially become attracted to a man's heart and mind. I have learned that, it isn't until I have become significantly attracted to him or bond with him, that his physical appearance becomes apparent to me. Although, it is of much less significance to me. It is the inner beauty that he possesses, that causes me to find him physically attractive in the end.



Drawyer
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12 Sep 2015, 12:30 am

Britte wrote:
It is the inner beauty that he possesses, that causes me to find him physically attractive in the end.

I'm thinking you and I have a lot in common besides what you said above. :D


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Britte
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12 Sep 2015, 12:41 am

Drawyer wrote:
Britte wrote:
It is the inner beauty that he possesses, that causes me to find him physically attractive in the end.

I'm thinking you and I have a lot in common besides what you said above. :D


Yes, I've noticed things, here and there, that have caused me to think that we are quite, like-minded, in ways...



Drawyer
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12 Sep 2015, 2:02 am

Britte wrote:
It is the inner beauty that he possesses, that causes me to find him physically attractive in the end.


But there is a catch of this approach though, as it takes longer time to observe inner things over the other way round, means a lot harder to get into a serious relationship. As I don't believe my own observation, it makes a lot and a lot harder to get into any real relationship. While I'm hesitating the man would disappear to a good partner and I would remain alone again and again..which is not that bad at all because I get used to this kind of cycle, feels like that I come back home.


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LordRikerQ
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12 Sep 2015, 4:14 am

Not to put anyone down but I've often met women who claim to prefer men with a good heart only to find out when it comes to it, they'll go for the stronger man who doesn't treat them right or have a very good heart.

Right up to my ex girlfriend before we got together she'd say all the time she's attracted to guys with good hearts and she thought my heart was beautiful but in the end she preferred her ex boyfriend who treated her like crap because he had better social ability and was a dominating/ strong male.


That's just a recent example, I have a great deal more examples. Again, I mean no offense to anyone but that's what I've always observed in woman who say they want men with good hearts.



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12 Sep 2015, 4:33 am

http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/i-ju ... ve-her.png
*cough cough*
Long term relationship sucker has proven he can care for the kids,
the strong guy is for fun times.



Uprising
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12 Sep 2015, 5:42 am

LordRikerQ wrote:
Not to put anyone down but I've often met women who claim to prefer men with a good heart only to find out when it comes to it, they'll go for the stronger man who doesn't treat them right or have a very good heart.

Right up to my ex girlfriend before we got together she'd say all the time she's attracted to guys with good hearts and she thought my heart was beautiful but in the end she preferred her ex boyfriend who treated her like crap because he had better social ability and was a dominating/ strong male.


That's just a recent example, I have a great deal more examples. Again, I mean no offense to anyone but that's what I've always observed in woman who say they want men with good hearts.

If your girlfriend doesn't think of you as a strong (physically attractive) male with a good social ability then you need to find a better girlfriend. (and become stronger while you're at it)

The more feminine she is, the more masculine her partner has to be in return in order to make it work stereotypically. (not in all cases, but in most)



Last edited by Uprising on 12 Sep 2015, 5:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nathaniel75
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12 Sep 2015, 5:47 am

The topic title sounds true to me. Physical attractiveness is only to get my attention. Once I get to know a girl I can start to love her for her mind, her heart, and her soul. A woman who is kind and charitable and cheerful and fun is a zillion times more attractive than some model who doesn't have much of a personality.



LordRikerQ
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12 Sep 2015, 9:18 am

Uprising wrote:
LordRikerQ wrote:
Not to put anyone down but I've often met women who claim to prefer men with a good heart only to find out when it comes to it, they'll go for the stronger man who doesn't treat them right or have a very good heart.

Right up to my ex girlfriend before we got together she'd say all the time she's attracted to guys with good hearts and she thought my heart was beautiful but in the end she preferred her ex boyfriend who treated her like crap because he had better social ability and was a dominating/ strong male.


That's just a recent example, I have a great deal more examples. Again, I mean no offense to anyone but that's what I've always observed in woman who say they want men with good hearts.

If your girlfriend doesn't think of you as a strong (physically attractive) male with a good social ability then you need to find a better girlfriend. (and become stronger while you're at it)

The more feminine she is, the more masculine her partner has to be in return in order to make it work stereotypically. (not in all cases, but in most)


Well to be fair I was very much the beta male when we met, a combination of things and being fed up with being the stereotypical nice guy who finishes last, kind of pushed me out of the shell I'd been in. So I'm much more assertive and stronger now then I was with her.



KumquatQueen
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12 Sep 2015, 10:38 am

LordRikerQ wrote:
Not to put anyone down but I've often met women who claim to prefer men with a good heart only to find out when it comes to it, they'll go for the stronger man who doesn't treat them right or have a very good heart.

Right up to my ex girlfriend before we got together she'd say all the time she's attracted to guys with good hearts and she thought my heart was beautiful but in the end she preferred her ex boyfriend who treated her like crap because he had better social ability and was a dominating/ strong male.


That's just a recent example, I have a great deal more examples. Again, I mean no offense to anyone but that's what I've always observed in woman who say they want men with good hearts.


That's ONE girl who allegedly preferred a jerk to you. That's hardly representative of the wants and desires of all women!



Britte
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12 Sep 2015, 1:42 pm

Drawyer wrote:
Britte wrote:
It is the inner beauty that he possesses, that causes me to find him physically attractive in the end.


But there is a catch of this approach though, as it takes longer time to observe inner things over the other way round, means a lot harder to get into a serious relationship. As I don't believe my own observation, it makes a lot and a lot harder to get into any real relationship. While I'm hesitating the man would disappear to a good partner and I would remain alone again and again..which is not that bad at all because I get used to this kind of cycle, feels like that I come back home.


Although this is perhaps, true for you, it is not for me. The catch you refer to, does not exist for me. You say it takes longer for you to observe the inner "things", than the physical, it is the opposite for me. It takes a very short amount of time for me to observe or be affected by a persons heart, soul, mind. I dont see him in a physical way, neither handsom or otherwise, until after he has affected me in some way. Although, his physical appearance does not play a part in what attracts me to him, nor, what sustains my desire for him.



LordRikerQ
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12 Sep 2015, 2:42 pm

KumquatQueen wrote:
LordRikerQ wrote:
Not to put anyone down but I've often met women who claim to prefer men with a good heart only to find out when it comes to it, they'll go for the stronger man who doesn't treat them right or have a very good heart.

Right up to my ex girlfriend before we got together she'd say all the time she's attracted to guys with good hearts and she thought my heart was beautiful but in the end she preferred her ex boyfriend who treated her like crap because he had better social ability and was a dominating/ strong male.


That's just a recent example, I have a great deal more examples. Again, I mean no offense to anyone but that's what I've always observed in woman who say they want men with good hearts.


That's ONE girl who allegedly preferred a jerk to you. That's hardly representative of the wants and desires of all women!


Actually that's just the most recent example, I have over ten years of these experiences but I figured there wasn't a need to write about all these women I've known.