If 'love' is one's objective, where would one begin from?

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Mootoo
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28 Aug 2015, 6:34 pm

Most people have at least a familial love, you see... the average person, at least... I assume. What would one do if that's not an option and, obviously, romantic love is not usually available either?



Astro77
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28 Aug 2015, 7:00 pm

Would something like a pet be an option?



cberg
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28 Aug 2015, 7:08 pm

Nature. I noticed someone one here musing that love might be our fantastic interpretation of a biochemical process, but if we stay in contact with our inherited surroundings enough, it becomes the ocerarching theme in life. The natural world can drop us hints about how to relate to all our fellow humans.


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Malaise
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28 Aug 2015, 7:54 pm

Charity, friendships, or creativity?

A lot of people use their art, writing, or music to explore things that can't normally be spoken, shown, or heard. Some writers talk about a lifelong series of ups, downs, comforts, and pains they've had with their work that I've always wanted to experience myself (although at my age, I don't have much to go off). It can be about you, other people, or the world. It can be for your private reading, contributed to critique workshops, or intended to change opinions (whether or not anyone is ready to hear it).

My love comes from that plus friendships. I only have a few, but we have a lot of good discussions, we encourage each other in goals, and we've considered working together to make indie games or music. I like cheering them up when I can and trying to make life a little easier. Friendships are excellent for love, I think people just don't turn to them as much because they may instead be looking for security instead of connection.



hurtloam
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29 Aug 2015, 1:44 pm

Malaise wrote:
Charity, friendships, or creativity?

A lot of people use their art, writing, or music to explore things that can't normally be spoken, shown, or heard. Some writers talk about a lifelong series of ups, downs, comforts, and pains they've had with their work that I've always wanted to experience myself (although at my age, I don't have much to go off). It can be about you, other people, or the world. It can be for your private reading, contributed to critique workshops, or intended to change opinions (whether or not anyone is ready to hear it).

My love comes from that plus friendships. I only have a few, but we have a lot of good discussions, we encourage each other in goals, and we've considered working together to make indie games or music. I like cheering them up when I can and trying to make life a little easier. Friendships are excellent for love, I think people just don't turn to them as much because they may instead be looking for security instead of connection.


Yeah, I can relate to this. You sound like one of my friends.



OliveOilMom
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29 Aug 2015, 7:39 pm

Just because you may not have family doesn't mean you can't have romantic love.

It starts by meeting somebody. Even friendship love starts that way. I have a best friend who I love very much and she loves me. We met on FB when she worked at the haunted house with my kids. We hit it off and it was like we knew each other all our lives. She says we are soulmates, maybe so. Like people meant to be family that isn't blood or something.

I wasn't looking for a best friend when I met her, it just happened. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend when I met my husband either, I had given up and decided to play the field like guys did. Then the next guy I met was him and I fell in love. I got pissed off at myself for falling in love too after deciding against it lol, but it worked out good.

It just happens and the harder you try to find it the harder it is to find it seems.


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cberg
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30 Aug 2015, 8:44 pm

The only conducive thing to this objective is being relaxed. It's not a definite point, just a state of being. Seems to me the rest is all variables.


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31 Aug 2015, 12:13 am

To me love of any kind is concerned with another,rather than oneself,so I suppose that a start to it would be concerning or investing yourself in another.Of course concerning/investing oneself in another can be hard if you are isolated,I myself know how painful isolation can be, though I do have family with me.I would say that even though an indirect medium like this site is a place where people can share their struggles and invest and concern themselves in the struggle of others,rather than their self and offer their support and friendship,which to me,even if its not the greatest or most overt is a form of love.Whatever ever the case if you would like to talk i'm free.


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LordRikerQ
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31 Aug 2015, 12:19 am

I have neither Familial love (and I never did) nor romantic love, but what helps is a cuddly pet indeed. I have adorable Shih Tzu lap dog that loves to be cuddled, and it helps some.



OliveOilMom
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01 Sep 2015, 10:39 am

LordRikerQ wrote:
I have neither Familial love (and I never did) nor romantic love, but what helps is a cuddly pet indeed. I have adorable Shih Tzu lap dog that loves to be cuddled, and it helps some.


I'm not a cuddly pet owner but I have three dogs. Two high content wolf-husky hybrids and also a full blood husky. (Siberian, not Alaskan) They are only cuddly when it's raining because they are terrified of thunder. They are also huge. I love them to pieces.

I like big dogs but I dislike small dogs. I don't mean I don't want you to have one, I just wouldn't ever want one and they annoy the crap out of me. I also dislike cats but we have three. One indoor outdoor one that we have to have because we live in the country and there are mince, one indoor only because it has no front or back claws that we inherited when my mother died, and one new siamese kitten that annoys the s**t out of me that we got for the new full blood husky to play with because he tried to play with the cats we already had and they are b*****s and hit at him and hissed and exploded everytime they got near. Now he has a friend to play with since the hybrids ignore him and seem to dislike him. They are very cliquish that way. And jealous. There have been fights before they each found their own way of going about the day and now just avoid each other. I don't much care for the kitten right now because it's in that playful stage and it gets into everything, tries to climb my curtains and has knocked glass things off and broken them. I'm this close to giving it away, except the dog likes it so I won't. Hopefully it will settle down soon because I'm getting tired of constantly having to spray it with the Cat No.


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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


goldfish21
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04 Sep 2015, 12:20 am

Within.

You have to learn to love yourself before you can reasonably expect to attract someone else' love.

If you currently don't love yourself, figure out why not & then what you're going to do about it. And I mean do, not just think, but Do - as in an action plan, that you then act on. Plan the work, then work the plan, rinse & repeat until you become someone you love. Once you love you, you'll become loveable to others.


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cberg
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04 Sep 2015, 12:27 am

I think starting introspectively is more allegorical for some of us; another route is internalizing the other people one loves. A sense of oneself manifests in anyone they meet after all...


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