Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

15 Sep 2015, 8:31 am

This morning before class (which was cancelled), a guy started talking to me. He was friendly and we had some nice conversation, and then he wanted my phone number. I gave it to him thinking he just wanted to be friends, but my boyfriend told me that guys do that when they want to be more than friends. Honestly, I only gave him my number out of kindness.

How do I know when I should give my number to guys who I DON'T want to be in a relationship with? How do I not lead someone on? I'm really confused by this and I need as much help as I can get.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Sep 2015, 8:37 am

It's probably better if you give your email address instead.

Even better: if the person knows your name, they could "friend" you on Facebook.

In this Internet world, you really don't have to give out your phone number, in my opinion.



izzeme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

15 Sep 2015, 8:49 am

Sometimes, men truly just want your number in order to be friends, but then the'll accept your facebook as well.

Indeed, offering your facebook information as an alternative is a good idea; as is mentioning that you have a boyfriend already.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,163
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

15 Sep 2015, 8:51 am

Your bf is totally right.

Guys rarely approach girls and ask for numbers for the sake of friendship only, yes, things might turn out just friendship, but that usually wasn't the initial motif.

Ask yourself this: had you ever approached an another stranger girl and asked for her number on the first conversation?
or have you ever seen a straight girl approaching another stranger straight girl and asking her for her number, on the first conversation?

Usually a kind of friendship/acquaintance develops first then they exchange numbers.



Lukeda420
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,640
Location: Chicago suburbs.

15 Sep 2015, 8:53 am

I think it would be a good idea to let the person know you have a boyfriend when you give out your number. It's true some people may not react very well but nothing you do can really change that. I think this happened to me recently. I asked a girl for her number, I definitely had romantic intentions but like you I don't think she saw that.

Your boyfriend is right most of the time the guy has romantic interest, that doesn't mean they aren't willing to just be friends though. And you can tell if they're even worth being friends with by how they react to hearing about your boyfriend.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,163
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

15 Sep 2015, 9:19 am

It is even more extreme than that, actually almost any kind of unnecessary interaction initiated by a guy toward a girl who he barely knows = romantic interest.

Concrete examples:

Guy approaching girl in a pub and says "hi" = romantic interest.

Guy asking girl about the book she's reading in the park = romantic interest.

Guy smiles to a girl out of blue = romantic interest.

Guy correcting how a girl should exercise in gym = romantic interest + being a douche.

Other instances where it's not necessary romantic interest.

Guy helping a girl who fell down the road = umm....if he reacts the same way toward a falling guy or old lady, then this could be just a humane act.

Guy helping a stranger to change wheel tire = that's simply a common societal expectation, no romantic interest is necessarily involved.



Earthling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2015
Posts: 3,450

15 Sep 2015, 9:53 am

### OFFTOPIC ###
We could exploit this uncertainty to our advantage and practice well-prepared "friendly" :wink: conversation* on random people, no intentions at all. No pressure either. :)
*Only works if you have basic conversation skill



AusWolf
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 168
Location: United Kingdom

15 Sep 2015, 10:03 am

Earthling wrote:
### OFFTOPIC ###
We could exploit this uncertainty to our advantage and practice well-prepared "friendly" :wink: conversation* on random people, no intentions at all. No pressure either. :)
*Only works if you have basic conversation skill


Yeah. That's what I'm afraid people are trying to do with goofygoobers (I am her boyfriend). Although, I fully trust her.