Dealing with spouse's tattoo

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

JimmyTheOne
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 29 Sep 2015
Age: 40
Posts: 2
Location: Australia

29 Sep 2015, 10:31 pm

My wife and I have been married for seven years and have a really good relationship. However, yesterday she did something she'd wanted to do for a long time and got a tattoo: three words and a butterfly on the side of her ribcage just below her bra line. It is really nicely done, quite feminine, she's really happy about it and all her friends are complimenting her about it.

The problem is I find tattoos a major turn-off. I have no idea why. I like the artwork (when it's not on someone's skin), I don't have any religious beliefs, I don't associate it with anything negative or with the criminal underworld. I just find natural skin attractive and tattoos not at all.

Consequently, when she showed me her new tattoo, I failed to show the enthusiasm that she was expecting, which really upset her. Her argument is that it is her body and she can do whatever she wants with it and I should be ok with that, but for me it's not like her changing her hairstyle or putting more or less make-up on: it's a permanent blight on her beautiful body. She's now talking about getting more tattoos.

Now I feel bad for having upset her and guilty for feeling the way I do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.



Peacesells
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,915
Location: Anzio, Italy

30 Sep 2015, 4:01 am

She should have told that to you, did you know that she was getting a tattoo? And when she showed it, were you upset at her or you just didn't show enthusiasm?
If it was the latter case, the "the body is mine and I do what I want with it" thing seems rather stupid in this context, because while it is true and you can't keep her from getting tattoos, that doesn't mean that you are bound to be enthusiastic about it or to fake appreciation.

They say that in marriage the key is communication and compromise, why don't you just explain that tattoos are a turn-off for you, being careful not to give the impression that you are forbidding her to get others, but merely stating the fact that you don't like them and they are a turn-off for you?



Lukeda420
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,640
Location: Chicago suburbs.

30 Sep 2015, 8:17 am

Yeah it would of been nice I she told you about it, but she is right, it's her body. I would try to gently explain your position on tattoos, but try to leave the one already there out of the conversation if possible.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

30 Sep 2015, 7:53 pm

Yeah I don't like tattoos either if a girl I was with got a bunch it'd mean no touching Etc which would likely degrade our relationship. I don't get the whole body covered in tattoos thing and it'll limit their job options I also find peircings eww(I'm germ a phobic)

Think it's best to talk to her about it. Bet she'd be unhappy if you choose to get obese and eat a lot which would be your body your choice.