He disappeared when I told that i want to go on date?

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So I was talking to this guy that I met.We haven't spend time in person yet but we coommunicate regulary.He brought up sex the first time we spoke .Last time he wanted to come over at my apartment but I told him that I'm not comfotable inviting him over the first timr.I want to meet in public first.He said cool no problem.

I wasn't sure were I stand with him so I told him that I'm not up for a random hook up, I'm looking for someone to date.I want to keep our first few interactions out side our homes and go on real dates as we get to know each other. I then asked him if he just wants to hook up or want the same things as me.He didn't respond then I sent another text telling him that I just want to make sure that we're on the same page and want the same things. He then responded and said "it is what I want".I asked him again to confirm if we want the same things since his respond was vague.He stopped responding. He never contacted me.Did I came too strong?

You probably should have just arranged for the date.

Met the guy at such and such a restaurant, rather than keeping on asking him if he's on the "same page."

They'll be other guys. Maybe he wasn't worth it, anyway.

It's good that you're insisting on a few dates before you introduce the guy to your apartment.

Ouch, no you didn't come on too strong. It's just you two want different things.

He was probably looking for a hookup & was lying when he said he wanted the same thing you did. When you pushed him further he realized that he wouldn't be able to convince/trick you into changing your mind.

Definitely a guy thinking only about sex.

The 'it is what i want' didn't mean "i also want to take it slow", it related to the hookup: 'it *is* what *i* want'

no, you didn't come on too strong, you just wanted something that he didn't, so he stopped trying; which is rare nowadays actually, more often than not, they'll keep pushing.

Forget about this guy, it wasn't meant to be.

for future reference: if a guy brings up sex in the first day of interaction, 9/10 he is interested in a hookup, so don't invest too much emotionally in these cases (but don't flake out too soon, the 10th guy might be worth the trouble)

No, you did NOT come on too strong. Sorry, but he was looking for a hook-up, if not, he would have set up the date as soon as you told him that you were looking to date. Be happy he's out of the picture, he's not worth a dime.

It seems that he is interested in sex only and not in dating seriously. If you are looking for something serious you better look elsewhere. Out of curiosity, if he the same guy of the other thread?

He wants sex while you want a relationship.

He probably felt guilty for leading you on.

Yeah, when I guy brings up sex right away it usually means that's all they want and there are a lot of people who don't mind lying to get it.

I remember an aspie guy kept sending me texts asking when we were going to have sex. At the time I thought it was his aspieness. He dumped me on MSN messenger when he figured out he wouldn't be getting any. I was 15 after all. At the time I had bought him Valentines presents, so just ate them myself. I cried for about a minute then got over it. I wasn't into him especially.

Sounds like he was only after sex. If he was really after dating then he wouldn't have suddenly stopped

Unfortunately it does sound like maybe he just wanted a hook-up after all, but there will be other guys. Nothing wrong with what you asked, in fact I wish I had been more direct/blunt about asking some guys I've gotten together with if they're looking for a relationship like me or a hook-up, probably would have saved me the disappointment of a few hook-ups I've had who I thought actually were interested in dating me.

I imagine perhaps i would have got the old....suddenly guy stops texting back treatment which would have cost a lot less time and energy. But I guess I figured if you see a guy more than once and they seem to enjoy you coming around the next step would surely be wanting to make it an exclusive relationship.

One I saw a few times, had sex and then after a few times there was a time he wanted to do that in the living room but he had room-mates home and the thought of them walking in on us wasn't doing it for me...clearly disappointing to him then after that visit he would not text me back until a few weeks later when he basically said he didn't want to date but we could still have sex....well of course I was not interested. Similar deal with another one....got together a few times, couldn't have sex the last time because my period so got a 'I don't think we should date, I found someone else' kind of text.