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dianthus
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04 Sep 2015, 9:49 pm

This is meant to be humorous, but I think there's a lot of truth in this.



Herman
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09 Sep 2015, 9:51 pm

Good post! I can really see how it relates to aspies too, which I think was your point?

The aspie mindset, especially for males, fits a lot better into a pre 1940's world for sure. Honesty, politeness, straightforwardness, commitment etc - right from the outset.

Aspie guy may well say he loves you and will marry you when first meeting, but that is because he bloody well means it! A few generations ago that kind of integrity would be admired and sought after. These days interaction is a big puzzle where everyone has to act disinterested, insincere and disposable. And all the NT girls have crises when they hit 30 and curse why they cant find anyone to settle down with, or why their NT long term boyfriends don't commit or do anything meaningful and romantic like womens interest novels or movies!



nurseangela
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09 Sep 2015, 11:09 pm

I love that! I have little oldie women patients that talk just like that about their husbands. It's sweet.


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goofygoobers
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09 Sep 2015, 11:50 pm

nurseangela wrote:
I love that! I have little oldie women patients that talk just like that about their husbands. It's sweet.


I hope I get to talk about my future husband like that someday. Just imagine me with pink hair. :lol: Oh, and without the stalker undertones.



dianthus
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10 Sep 2015, 12:55 am

Herman wrote:
Good post! I can really see how it relates to aspies too, which I think was your point?

The aspie mindset, especially for males, fits a lot better into a pre 1940's world for sure. Honesty, politeness, straightforwardness, commitment etc - right from the outset.


Yes that's just the point I wanted to make.

Also, seems like a lot of the dating advice and other social advice given on this forum is oriented around adapting to fit into modern world. I'm not sure if that's always such a great idea. I guess we all have to adapt to some extent, and be aware of what's out there, but you can't change the fundamental essence of who you are.

It's taken me a long time to realize just how old-fashioned I really am. I would be going into a situation thinking like the older woman in that video, and interacting with people who think more like the younger woman in that video, but totally expecting them to think about the same way I do. And I just didn't have the perspective to realize how different they are from me.

Seeing those two different perspectives contrasted in the video made me see what goes wrong when I interact with people like that, who have really different values than I do. Whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even my work supervisor. I really clash with people who are like that younger woman.

I think it's best for me to just avoid people like that, at least on a personal level. I can't stand people who think that way and act that way. I can't be friends with them, and certainly not partners.



Herman
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10 Sep 2015, 1:57 pm

Something you may find interesting, which came to my realisation a few years ago when I really started to learn myself. Is that for the kind of attitudes depicted in the video, I just do not get on with British Girls at all. (I am in Britain), I expect american girls are not that different, but I think Brits are even more extreme on this front.

When I meet girls from elsewhere in Europe, particularly South, Central and Eastern. Its like magic, something about mindset, values, behaviour that just makes us click. They do not recognise me as "different" or lesser, I fit right in. And I appreciate these fine women greatly in their fine & strong characters. Nothing like the vapidness of british girls.
A little example for you is, that in Poland the standard greeting when meeting a woman is still kissing their hands!

Somewhere even MORE extreme in this front, is South Asia & Islamic countries. In these places it is the ideal for men to be virgins (just like the girls) till marriage. If you are a hotshot academic/bookworm who studies and doesn't go out, or have a career based in Science, Engineering or Medicine - you are completely typical of a desirable bachelor.

Girls will fall at your feet, and they will be pushed by their parents!



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Sep 2015, 1:48 am

Herman wrote:
Somewhere even MORE extreme in this front, is South Asia & Islamic countries. In these places it is the ideal for men to be virgins (just like the girls) till marriage. If you are a hotshot academic/bookworm who studies and doesn't go out, or have a career based in Science, Engineering or Medicine - you are completely typical of a desirable bachelor.


That's so true for the somehow religious communities here.

Revealing my non-virginity was a turn off to some at times; for most they were indifferent.

But for most atheist/secular girls, male virginity is often seen by them as an indication of something wrong and it's a turn off for them.


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Girls will fall at your feet, and they will be pushed by their parents!


Not really, parents would often encourage those girls to marry one of those.



Nathaniel75
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11 Sep 2015, 1:54 am

dianthus wrote:
This is meant to be humorous, but I think there's a lot of truth in this.



Absolutely brilliant. So... sometimes, I feel like a relic of a bygone age. I'm polite and considerate and romantic... but the world seems to have passes me by. I want love and affection, while modern society seems to want to just screw anybody nearby whenever physically possible.



goofygoobers
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11 Sep 2015, 3:53 am

dianthus wrote:
Herman wrote:
Good post! I can really see how it relates to aspies too, which I think was your point?

The aspie mindset, especially for males, fits a lot better into a pre 1940's world for sure. Honesty, politeness, straightforwardness, commitment etc - right from the outset.


Yes that's just the point I wanted to make.

Also, seems like a lot of the dating advice and other social advice given on this forum is oriented around adapting to fit into modern world. I'm not sure if that's always such a great idea. I guess we all have to adapt to some extent, and be aware of what's out there, but you can't change the fundamental essence of who you are.

It's taken me a long time to realize just how old-fashioned I really am. I would be going into a situation thinking like the older woman in that video, and interacting with people who think more like the younger woman in that video, but totally expecting them to think about the same way I do. And I just didn't have the perspective to realize how different they are from me.

Seeing those two different perspectives contrasted in the video made me see what goes wrong when I interact with people like that, who have really different values than I do. Whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even my work supervisor. I really clash with people who are like that younger woman.

I think it's best for me to just avoid people like that, at least on a personal level. I can't stand people who think that way and act that way. I can't be friends with them, and certainly not partners.


I don't understand how they could form romantic relationships with the attitude they have. Can anyone answer this question for me?



Nathaniel75
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11 Sep 2015, 4:05 am

I believe that most youngsters these days don't form romantic relationships. They just fins the nearest body that has compatible naughty bits and get right to it. Romance seems to be a (somewhat unwelcome) side effect of sexing it up these days :(



dianthus
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11 Sep 2015, 11:28 am

goofygoobers wrote:
I don't understand how they could form romantic relationships with the attitude they have. Can anyone answer this question for me?


Good question. I don't think they really do...not lasting ones anyway.



Herman
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11 Sep 2015, 12:34 pm

Nathaniel75 wrote:
I believe that most youngsters these days don't form romantic relationships. They just fins the nearest body that has compatible naughty bits and get right to it. Romance seems to be a (somewhat unwelcome) side effect of sexing it up these days :(



So true, "romance", "love", "caring"

all the new dirty words. The average 16 year old girl would be more comfortable with blowjobs and bumps of coke (and sharing that on snapchat!) on a first date than you asking to meet her parents or cooking her a meal.



Inle
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11 Sep 2015, 2:38 pm

Honestly I think people just vary so much, and there's nothing wrong with us not all having the same priorities and perspectives. I don't like it when somebody comes on too strong, they don't know me! Any 'feelings' they have for me are based on the idea of what I might be like, or on my appearance.

Also, Herman, if girls DO want blowjobs/coke/snapchat rather than meals and introductions to family, isn't that up to them?

Seriously, unless people spend their 'first dates' committing murder, or pissing in my cereal, I really dgaf. Good for them, living the way they want.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Sep 2015, 3:45 pm

So in the old days stalking worked?



KumquatQueen
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12 Sep 2015, 11:11 am

Herman wrote:
Something you may find interesting, which came to my realisation a few years ago when I really started to learn myself. Is that for the kind of attitudes depicted in the video, I just do not get on with British Girls at all. (I am in Britain), I expect american girls are not that different, but I think Brits are even more extreme on this front.

When I meet girls from elsewhere in Europe, particularly South, Central and Eastern. Its like magic, something about mindset, values, behaviour that just makes us click. They do not recognise me as "different" or lesser, I fit right in. And I appreciate these fine women greatly in their fine & strong characters. Nothing like the vapidness of british girls.
A little example for you is, that in Poland the standard greeting when meeting a woman is still kissing their hands!

Somewhere even MORE extreme in this front, is South Asia & Islamic countries. In these places it is the ideal for men to be virgins (just like the girls) till marriage. If you are a hotshot academic/bookworm who studies and doesn't go out, or have a career based in Science, Engineering or Medicine - you are completely typical of a desirable bachelor.

Girls will fall at your feet, and they will be pushed by their parents!



GIRLS WIL FALL AT YOUR FEET OR BE PUSHED BY THEIR PARENTS
?!?

You want girls who effectively can't say no? Who may well be with you because their parents told them to and have no agency? Who couldn't leave you if they WANTED to as they'd have nowhere to go, would face stigma for being divorced or separated?!?

Barf. A million times barf!



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12 Sep 2015, 12:40 pm

I love the older woman. She's such a Sweet Pea. I can't really say that about the younger woman, though.


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