The real reason I can't get a girlfriend
Because i'm socially ret*d.
What seems like "common sense" to others isn't so much to me.
Being autistic is one of the worst things to have if you want to date, it really is. No girl wants to date a socially ret*d guy. I f*****g hate being autistic.
If I wasn't autistic, my life would be so much better. I'd be in college, have a gf, not be treated as less then equal at work, more intelligent.
No girl will ever like me all because i'm autistic except for fat ugly whales. If I wasn't autistic, everything would be better. I GUARANTEE YOU.
What seems like "common sense" to others isn't so much to me.
Being autistic is one of the worst things to have if you want to date, it really is. No girl wants to date a socially ret*d guy. I f*****g hate being autistic.
If I wasn't autistic, my life would be so much better. I'd be in college, have a gf, not be treated as less then equal at work, more intelligent.
No girl will ever like me all because i'm autistic except for fat ugly whales. If I wasn't autistic, everything would be better. I GUARANTEE YOU.
Calling women fat ugly whales. Totally the way to go to go about getting getting a date!
Seems like "fat ugly whales" are exactly your league considering how you talk about human beings, and then you have the gall to complain.
Autism is not an excuse to demand everybody hand everything to you for free, like Chris Chan does.
The fastest way to get a girlfriend is to better yourself. Making multiple threads about how the world owes you something because you have autism and how that somehow justifies complacency is just stupid.
I'm not saying this to slam you. But think about how you talk about human beings. Those "fat ugly whales" are people too. They can certainly do something about being fat, but many won't. And since you seem to have the same attitude in demanding a lot without doing any work to better yourself, then you seem like like a match made in heaven to me.
When you're done compaining and started trying to fix your life, then you can demand higher standards. But until then, you are in no position to demand a woman who keeps in shape and takes care of herself if you just keep complaning about autism all day without doing anything to make life better for yourself. Those women can pick someone who does not have a miserable attitude on life, and they will.
Neurotypical men struggle with relationships too. Some might have birth defects or maybe physical handicaps like not being able to walk. There are many people in those categories who get girlfriends because they refuse to let circumstances dictate what they can or can not do. Women pick up on the confidence in someone defying circumstances, because there must be something special about that man since he can be so happy despite having challenges.
I wouldn't word my post this harsh if it wasn't for the fact that you consider yourself too good for "fat ugly whales" despite being just as complacent and lazy as an overweight person who blames their problems on being fat.
No that's BS.
Even when I was happy with myself, I coudn't get ANYWHERE with women. Because i'm so bad socially with them and they always ghost me always. Meanwhile, Mr Prince Charming who's funnier, more sociable, and comes off as normal comes along and takes her away even though you know he's a giant douchebag. If this happens to you all the time, tell me you woudn't be f*****g upset. TELL ME!
I'm like a vampire. Sex and love is my blood and I got to have it or I will go insane. But since I can't have it, I have to settle with animal blood that doesn't fulfill you like human blood does. Can you guess what animal blood is?
These kind of threads are what turn me off about this forum. Decent people who are worth keeping here aren't going to want to spend their time listening to this kind of crap talk.
_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,856
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Even when I was happy with myself, I coudn't get ANYWHERE with women. Because i'm so bad socially with them and they always ghost me always. Meanwhile, Mr Prince Charming who's funnier, more sociable, and comes off as normal comes along and takes her away even though you know he's a giant douchebag. If this happens to you all the time, tell me you woudn't be f*****g upset. TELL ME!
I'm like a vampire. Sex and love is my blood and I got to have it or I will go insane. But since I can't have it, I have to settle with animal blood that doesn't fulfill you like human blood does. Can you guess what animal blood is?
Well where you still regularly using terms like 'fat ugly whales' to describe women when you were happy with yourself as well? Also perhaps working on getting better socially, I realize aspergers interferes with social interaction but that doesn't mean you cannot improve on it in any way whatsoever.
Also just because a female talks to you doesn't mean them taking more interest in someone else is the same as them being 'taken away from you'....unless you were in a relationship with a woman who did this then that would be cheating but I imagine women you were interested in that chose to date someone else instead. Also if you need sex and love that bad I'd think even if it was a big whale that expresses interest you'd be willing to jump on the opportunity if you are so sex and love deprived. But no you just have the audacity to say 'OMG I can't get a girlfriend, why do fat ugly whales talk to me.'
_________________
We won't go back.
Iv'e changed a lot this year...
I'm not the same person I used to be...
The happy kid who was always joking...
Now I am full of anger and sadness...
My whole life iv'e been different...
Treated as less then equal...
Last edited by darkphantomx1 on 19 Oct 2015, 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm sorry, that sucks I do think you have every reason to be hopeful though! My boyfriend has AS and he thought he would be single forever, but it just took longer to find someone. He had his first real GF at 21, and a couple others, and had been single for a while when we met (he is 33 and I am 36). He had gotten a degree in computer science, obtained a great job, and focused on developing interests (mountaineering, rock climbing, etc) and making friends. We met through mutual friends. I think it's important to focus on finding things you like to do and taking good care of yourself- I am sure you will find what you're looking for, it just may take time.
You see, the problem is that at my age women HATE guys like me! Women who are my age, all they want is alpha males who are witty, funny and go-getters. I could never possibly portray an alpha male. You see im in the grey zone. I'm too "mainstream" to attract nerdy and emo chicks yet i'm too beta to attract normal chicks.
I HATE IT SO MUCH! All I want is love, is that too much to ask?
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,856
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I HATE IT SO MUCH! All I want is love, is that too much to ask?
Pretty certain that is not the only type of guys all women in their 20's like....preppy, high maintenance type females certainly. You could always try and find activities you like and attempt to meet females interested in similar activities/hobbies...can also depend on where you meet people. If you're mostly trying to meet women in conventional social settings might have bad luck if you're not very conventional.
Also though you should really lay of the insulting descriptions of people...I mean its just negativity and likely gives you a negative vibe. I have been around people that just radiate nastiness because they are so bitter even if they don't out-loud say something mean so even if you don't verbally call any women fat ugly whales thinking about people like that can still effect your demeanor.
And what you hate feeling inferior so you want to feel superior and make other people feel inferior, I'd think knowing how that feels you wouldn't want to do that to other people. Also girls can be turned off if they think a male intrested in them sees them as inferior and something that is owed to them.
_________________
We won't go back.
How old are you?
I was pretty angry at women for a while too. Now, I no longer care. It wasn't until I reached my mid 20s that I stopped caring about women. And they seem to be strange in that if you care too much, they're repulsed, but if you couldn't care less, suddenly they show interest.
When I had girlfriends, suddenly a lot of women who previously thought I was uninterested, became very interested.
Inconvenient to say the least.
But I'm going to tell you what happens to a lot of guys, which happened to me. You'll get a girlfriend, and you'll grow attached to her. You'll grow used to getting sex and your brain will release all kinds of chemicals to bind you to her. Then for whatever reason, she will leave you and you'll be f****d over by the chemicals in your brain. That's what happened to me. Both relationships lasted about a year. That's about as long as the chemical high of attraction lasts. It's usually past that point that "real life" comes crashing down. Suddenly, the grass is greener on the other side with a new partner who brings new excitement to the table.
I did see this happen to my friends too. About a year in and boom! Out of nowhere it ends and the guy is none the wiser because all of a sudden she started to "feel like friends more than lovers". That means the chemical high of attraction wore off and she'll go get a new fix from someone else.
I'm telling you this to show how getting a girlfriend won't solve underlying issues. If you have issues, those can also contribute to ruining the relationship. A woman will tag along with you if you get your life in working order. It doesn't matter if you're not perfect. If you can be comfortable with yourself, then that goes a long way.
And when the relationship ends, you'll be back to square one. But if you fixed your s**t before getting into a relationship, you'll be much better off than if you entered the relationship feeling miserable, thinking that relationship would be the key to happiness.
There are women out there who aren't looking for alpha males.
My GF can't stand alpha males, she realizes that in this current world her partner no longer needs to go fight a lion to drag it home for food. Alphas are also usually un-trust worthy as they really only look out for number one, and when you no longer suit there needs, your outta there. Instead I may be socially awkward, but I can offer her stability, and genuine commitment, and not stability in a money sense as we are broke, but I can think out side the box, I find ways to make things happen.
Age has little to do with it, I am 31, she is 26.
Besides, do you really want a girl that is looking for an alpha anyway?..
But it all seems to zero in on you when you focus on on it, I put my attention elsewhere and we stumbled across each other and have been happy since.
When your actively looking and you don't find, it hurts and makes you feel even smaller, but if your not actively looking there is nothing to bring you down.
You can do the whole sob story, to yourself (no one wants you etc)
but your only hurting yourself,
I know from experience.
Be you, and be proud to be you!
If your not proud of yourself,
then change it, and it can be done.
Or like me, you just may need to hit rock bottom for yourself before you can bounce back up.
Loveurself
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 29 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
Location: North Dakota
You'll find a girlfriend one day, but here is the best part.... it probably won't last!! !! The way attraction works, I'm amazed when couples last longer then 6 months. When you want them; they don't want you and when they profess their undying love; you'll run for the hills. That's "love!" So don't rush it. Or maybe this is what it is all about for some guys. Dating (strictly for sex) until you get your fill and then move on leaving the grief stench on the victim. Seems cynical I know, but it's called dating.
I HATE IT SO MUCH! All I want is love, is that too much to ask?
No, what you want is a really pretty girl who doesn't give a damn that you lack social skills, hate yourself, hate the world and deem yourself better than the aforementioned, so classily, "fat whales" who are female and have standards low enough to be willing to consider you.
Have you considered the fact that social skills (being smart, fun, witty, whatnot) outweigh everything else?
That your simultaneously negative, sexist and over-entitled attitude is what drives women away?
You seem to have too much anger in general and too much contempt for women to deserve their love. While some women may occassionaly tolerate a little lack of respect from their jerk boyfriends, most are turned off by constant hatred and anger and phrases like "fat ugly whales", even when the anger, hate, and insults are not directed at them.
I'm with MissMistopholes on this one: If you think that your "... simultaneously negative, sexist, and over-entitled attitude ..." will attract an angelic woman to you, then think again. With an attitude like yours, you can expect to be lonely for a very long time.
But if you want to change your situation, then YOU have to change YOUR attitude first.
The change begins with you, because nothing will ever change for you.
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