Have you dated someone w/ Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Post Reply New Topic

I am wondering if any other people here with ASD have ever dated someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

-For those that can't handle change, were you able to break up with this person?
-Do you look back on people from your past and worry that you may be an easy target to these kinds of people?
-Did they ever say or do something that gave you the creeps? If so, what was it?

I've been with him since I was 19 (so for 7 years), we live together and I am reliant on him. I only have one other friend (and 2 exes/friends that I occasionally contact), but we only talk/hang out 1-2 times a month. I am already very lonely, so I know that even if I could leave, it would most likely only get worse. And I fear that if I were to meet someone new, who was somehow willing to overlook my awkward/weird/blunt personality and my failing physical health, that they would turn out to be a Narcissist too. (In the past, my 'type' of guy (awkward/analytical/responsible), never seem to be romantically interested in me, and tend to prefer the more bubbly and normal kind of girls.)

I feel paralyzed- and I feel foolish for not seeing through him sooner.

Yes. Urgh I wish I could erase that time of my life
- yes I broke it off, sure it was scary but in the end I couldn't take the way he treated me
- I know I am. I've been too trusting and too receptive of any kind of male attention
- so many things. He once told me that he had killed two people, he's a pathological liar but I can't help but wonder if it were true. He also said shortly before I broke it off that he was going to start regularly transferring money to 'take care of me' but I knew it was a way to make me more dependant on him

I dated and married one. We were together for ten years or so. I actually did not know what was wrong with him until years after I divorced him. I do feel I am a magnet for those kinds of people because my upbringing wasn't the best and I was not taught nor had an example of what healthy relationships are like. Being with him made me a very dependant person and I lost a lot of self confidence. It was about a month into our relationship that he was already trying to isolate me from friends. I had no contact with my family so it was easy to abuse/control me. Over the years he had complete control of the money, I couldn't go out alone, etc. To this day I have $50,000ish student loan bill that he coerced me into taking out maximum loans (He guilted me into going to college because I was such a loser, but I ended up getting a scholarship to pay for it) despite the scholarship then spent every dime. I still, years later am on a car loan from him that he will not refinance and is late on payments every month. (He promised to get the loan in his name only five years ago but didn't. With his wages as a programmer he makes the payment in two days of work)So my credit is still being ruined even after divorce.

It's not easy to leave these people. The people they lure into relationships they know already that they can control us. We are easy prey. My ex used to hack my computer to get my passwords, read any IM messages, got me fired from my job and followed me (once I left him). But not all NPD's can be this creepy I'm sure. It's daunting to think about leaving but if you make a plan with steps you need to take it makes it so much easier. When I left I ended up just renting a room. Clean and close to work. The first week there I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't even want to leave my room because it felt awkward living with strangers. I'd avoid running into anyone in the morning. I ate peanut butter and crackers and got burger king some nights because it was food I could eat in my room easily. I watched Netflix and every episode of cake boss the first week. Eventually after a month things started to feel normal. When you live with NPD people I feel you lose a part of yourself. After a month I felt my old self returning.

I got remarried to someone overseas. It took a lot of courage to leave and live there. Even getting on the plane each time to visit was hellish. He knows my quirks and even thinks they are cute. He accepts me for me. There are people out there that will accept our quirks.

I just learned this year my ex boyfriend was a narcissistic. I don't know if he had NPD but I strongly believe he fits the covert narcissism profile. I have written a lot of blog posts about him already in my blog explaining his characteristics and fortunately we were only together for a month literally and then we had to move out of his apartment due to landlord issues and us living apart was supposed to be until he found another place to live again but that never happened and he ghosted on me and I lost a few things but that is okay and he took my paycheck and never gave me the money he owed me and he nearly screwed me over with Dish Network as I wrote about here:

viewtopic.php?t=28648

I have also mentioned that in my blog too several times.

Honestly he raised red flags from the beginning; moving to a relationship too quickly, wanting to know everything about me, being crazy over me and not wanting me to leave for work and stuff being very clingy, showering me with things by taking me out and paying for anything and would get me anything if he wanted to, and he was also talking bad about his ex and had a bunch of oh poor me stories. My parents picked up on these red flags and I didn't. I think what made me vulnerable to this was my money anxiety and him paying for anything, and me wanting a relationship so badly. Also telling me how I have some LFA in me should have been a big red flag and telling his son how I was nervous meeting him because I was worried he will be a monster like those kids on Are We There Yet. We had known each other from December 2006 all the way until June 2007 when my mom told me I was single again and he had moved on and i felt so relieved because I no longer felt trapped in a relationship I wanted out.

My ex did contact me again all of a sudden when I got a new boyfriend and then again around Thanksgiving 2007 wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and he asked me the same questions about my new boyfriend. I thought it was very weird because he had went silent on me and then was all of a sudden talking to me again and then disappeared again. But I also wrote about that in my blog about why he probably came back after I read an article about why narcissists come back to you. I don't think he's ever said anything creepy to me.

I was lucky he let me go than trying to keep me. Some narcissists to dispose their victims like trash like mine did. Once you become useless, they dispose you. it still hurts when they do it but at least you got out. But don't be surprised if they all of a sudden contact you again out of the blue.

I also felt stupid for entering a relationship with him but I learned some hard lessons from it. I did not realize he was abusive then but I did feel he was controlling and I had some thoughts in my brain afterwards but I thought I was just being paranoid. Also actions speak louder than words and narcissists do strange things so they make no sense when they do it. I felt confused by my ex's actions because his actions would contradict what he say and I didn't understand the things he did but I realize actions speak louder than words. I realize my parents were correct about him and they were not being judgmental or misunderstanding him. My ex's worries were correct about what my parents would think of him and him looking like a control freak, that was because he was one. But it didn't take him long to show his dark side which is why I have felt dumb about it.

No, and I have no intention of doing so.

I believe that one of my ex's had at least some narcissistic tendancies, possible full blown NPD. My experience was similar to League_Girls's. Aspies are prime target for these types of people.

One way to spot these types of people, is that they tend to have a childish nature (not to be confused with child-like). Also, a good way to judge someone's true personality, is to observe how they interact around restaurant servers, and other types of people they come into contact with on a regular basis. They may act all sweet and caring around you (at first), but they will almost always end up acting this way towards you.

i dated a narcissist and was engaged to a sociopath. after three years too long of putting up with abuse, i broke up with the sociopath. it took me about a year to get over him. i learned to have healthy relationships during five years in al-anon. i am now in a wonderful marriage.