Question about attraction

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I have posted here before about a fellow intern that inlike. Through some happenstance I found that she has aspergers. I give her a ride to work everyday because I have a car and where we work is close to the college we both attend. I have known her now since around the end of August. She likes the same things I do. Plays for the most the same type of video games. Likes the same type of Sci-fi and whatnot.
I really like her. I have never meet a girl with aspergers that like most of what I like. Sorry for the long post lol.
With the backstory out of the way, I have a couple of questions. I like the way she smells. Now I don't go around smelling her. When she gets in the car in the morning I can smell whatever she put on that morning. Is it normal that I like the way she smells? Also she does consider me a friend. I think it's gotten to the point that I want to tell her how I feel. My problem is I don't want to make her feel awkward. Would it be best to tell her in the morning or on the ride home. Also how should I tell her?

There is never a good time to tell someone you like them or not. It is a matter of telling them and hoping they like you too. The only way I can see this getting awkward is if one has feelings and the other one doesn't, or one of you isn't used to expressions of feelings.

With both of us having Aspergers makes it all the more fun lol

Would it be better to tell her after work or before work?

I wouldn't pour out my heart for her just yet. Just ask her to dinner, or something. Keep it light and casual. No pressure.

I would ask her on the ride home, just before you drop her off, so that way, if there is some akwardness, you won't have to spend much time with each other.

Also, there is nothing wrong with liking the way someone smells. Sometimes, people wear perfume/cologne/body spray, etc., for the sole purpose of attracting the opposite sex.

Hey Gauldivic.

Nice to see someone use the word 'happenstance'. Anyways, SilverStar's advice sounds good; think of an activity that the both of you would enjoy doing/learning and ask her on the ride home if she'd be interested. Hope it works out for you!

INvite her to something casual and see where it goes from there

I'm going to tell her today in about an hour. I'll be back with what happened. Thanks for the advice

Well stuff... umm Things didn't go well for me........... I gathered the strength to tell her and I did. She said I wasn't her type and I have wrong chromosome possibly. Last night I felt like crap... just plain crap..... When I become emotionally attached to someone, I put all my social and mental energy into it. So I just felt drained and numb and tired. It just "hurt" yesterday. Especially when I re-played through the moment in my mind. Today its not as bad, but it hurts when i replay the moment again in my head.

You said your piece, you're disappointed and are moving on. That's about all you can do.

The trick is to learn not to invest so much emotionally until you have an established reciprocal relationship with someone. Getting all emotionally invested in someone without knowing they feel the same interest in you is not advisable because it leads to trouble with accepting rejection as a normal part of life (because it is normal for all of us to experience rejection at some point, usually at many points, in our lives) rather than a huge emotional trauma that can seem insurmountable. If you build up all kinds of emotions for someone you don't even know very well personally, you likely will imagine all kinds of traits about them that are attractive that you can't really know they possess because you don't know them well enough, and then you end up with an unrealistic idea of them in your head that they can't live up to. Lots of people put their romantic interest on a pedestal like this and it's an unhealthy pattern you should try to break. Being interested and liking someone and wanting to get to know them better is one thing, but emotionally investing beyond that before you discuss relationship status with them is not wise. Otherwise every time you approach someone if they don't feel compatible with you you will experience that as some kind of relationship-break-up-level heartbreak rather than just a romantic misfire that you can easily move on from.

Yes, it's normal to like the way a girl smells. No, you shouldn't tell her how you feel. Never be direct in your interest.

You need to get her alone behind closed doors. Find any excuse. "Let's watch a movie" is my favourite. Then once you have her alone, you begin to slowly escalate. Move in closer. Brush your hand against her thigh. Move your hand up her shirt. Kiss her neck. Takes about half an hour from first contact to sex.

What I just described is how 90%+ of relationships are formed. I didn't figure this s**t out until I was 22, so don't feel too bad.

Last edited by realitypill on 31 Oct 2015, 7:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

What you just described is also how many date rapes happen.

I'll take "Things I wish I knew 6 years ago" for $500