Do Aspie women sh*t test?

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So I've heard a lot about s**t testing these days...mainly from PickUp Artists and now it has permeated its way into pop culture. But when I think about it, many women I've gone on first dates with and 2 of my ex-gf's(only had 3) engaged in this behavior a great deal. I would often get frustrated and extremely angry about women being rude to me on dates for no apparent reason and it's because I didn't pick up on what they were trying to do.

But do Aspie women tend to do this as well? That is, give guys a hard time without warning and provocation to see how they react and how much they can get away with. Or say things they don't mean such as "leave me alone!" when they're upset when they actually don't want to be left alone. Ya know, typical manipulative behavior that is a byproduct of being insecure and emotionally volatile.

Here's an article about it: http://www.wealthylovelife.com/shit-tes ... jKZB5eCqBs

Here's another thread making women look bad. If you have good communication with the woman you're going out with, then there shouldn't be a problem. If she does something you don't like - then leave and don't go back. It's as simple as that.

I don't play games.

People - men and women alike, ND and NT alike - will see how far they can push someone before they provoke an adverse reaction. It's called "Testing the Boundaries" (not "Sh*t-Testing). It's a way of finding out if the other person is easily angered or frustrated, or if their feelings are easily hurt.

It's better to find out early in the relationship and break it off before committing to monogamy, inviting the person into your home, or even sharing a bed. Thus, testing the boundaries makes sense for anybody looking for someone to share a relationship with.

What your saying makes perfect sense. However its not quite what I took from the op. s**t testing in my experience is when a woman wants to see how much she can make you do for her because what she really wants is a little puppy to follow her around. What the op is referring infantile behaviour that alot of women put on because they want someone to suck their ass.

There is no formula for the behaviour of women, whether ND or NT, because women are not a monolith. We are all individuals and behave differently from each other due to having different genetic material from each other, being born into different families and cultures from one another, and being raised by different families--just like how all men are different from one another in those ways. If you drop the sexism you might have better luck with women. I would suggest not reading any more PUA unscientific garbage, because garbage is exactly what you're filling your mind with if that's what you're reading/learning from.

Lose the misogyny.

In my experience, some women will test a man in the way you describe - but only to find out if he is enough of a man to say 'No', and to find out if he is enough of a gentleman to do it nicely. Such a woman is looking for a man who is strong, yet considerate, as well as someone who is not likely to turn against her at the least provocation ... or for no reason at all.

Thank you, Mr. W. The younger generation of men just don't seem to appreciate women anymore. They seem to pull a couple of negatives from the women they have experiences with and label all women that way. Maybe they keep attracting the negative women because of something THEY are doing wrong.

Some women sure. But some people really are just looking for a puppet too, I an not sure how this is misogynistic, I am not generalizing all women at all, I am simply pointing out that some women do behave in the manner pointed by the op, and some behave in the way you just pointed out as well. Women as you said are not a monolith, some are infantile and immature, some are emotionally mature and know what they want, other hate the stereotypical gentlemen stuff. Of course you test potential partners to see how they react, and what I was simply saying before you called me a misogynist is that some women act in the way the OP describes, some men act like too. So please explain to me how it is misogynist to point that some women lack emotional maturity?

Last edited by lemonvariable72 on 29 Oct 2015, 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm actually a woman--I signed up as a man but I can't figure out how to change my gender on my profile page.

People will test your boundaries to see what they can get away with (as per what Fnord already said). My spin in that is that I have met some people that will act like they have a problem with you and feel that you "should already know because I am not telling you." the problem with that is they don't realize that this attitude can be a reflection of their communication skills, and of course reflects their conflict resolution skills more than it does the other person.

Oopsie. Sorry about that. I never can get anyone right.

I don't think it's right to play those Kind of games. What's wrong with being authentic?

People lie. Testing them is the only way to find out what they're really like.

Consider this: Dating someone is very much like interviewing for a job. During an interview, a person is usually on his or her best behavior, and will say anything to get the job. This is why many employers also administer tests - both to verify the answers given during the verbal interview, and to observe how a person will react when faced with a stressful situation.

Thus, both men and women are employing not only a series of faca-to-face interviews ("dates"), but background checks and observations of behavior in stress-filled social situations.

People do this because they don't want to be deceived by a smooth-talker or a pretty face, only to find out later that they're in a relationship with a bully, a con artist, or a liar.

I thought everyone did these, both men and women. I can understand they do it to test you to see what kind of person you are ( after all you wouldn't want to fall into an abusive relationship or end up with an as*hole) which fails on aspies because we take things so literal. I never did this with my husband. In fact it took him a while to learn my language. "Leave me alone" does not mean keeping on hugging me.

Reminds me of an episode in hey Arnold when Arnold serves Oskar and Suzie two small cupcakes but he trips and one of them falls in the bucket with water. There is only one cupcake left and he is about to eat it when he notices his wife is looking at him. Oskar asks her "You don't want this do you, it's so small?" and she goes "Not if you want it for yourself Oskar" and he goes "Okay great" and eats it and she gets mad at him and Arnold sides with her. Oskar is left confused. I used to think she was being sarcastic but now i wonder if she was playing a game, testing him. But he truly didn't understand why she got so upset with him. Then at the end of the episode, he is leaving the boarding house and Suzie is about to give him money but he decides to not take it. She takes him back as if he played the game and he is so happy he passed the test. I used to hate that because of the games. Oskar may be a dead beat person and selfish and have no respect for women but he really was clueless when people give him things. I did feel bad for him in that show even though he wasn't a good person. I have wondered if he was an aspie.

Everyone does this?
If I do I'm not conscious of it.
It's always been damn annoying when people have tried their stupid mind games on me.

Everyone does this. Maybe not all of the time, and maybe not consciously, but everyone does this. So consider everthing said to you by anyone to be a test of your morals, integrity, determination, and/or your self-respect, and respond to your highest level.

Ultimatums are the worst - the old "My way or the highway" test. If you go with "My way", then you have failed the test, and earned their contempt. This is because you already seem to them to be pathetic and desperate for their company.

Instead say, "Okay ... you win ... I'll take the highway". Your departure is sure to confuse them, because they have suddenly learned that they were wrong about you, and that you have more guts than they thought you had. By the time they've recovered, you're gone. You've either hung up the phone or walked out the door.

Don't let them talk you into coming back, because that will only re-affirm their low opinion of you, and result in ultimatums defining your entire relationship. Instead, get on with your own life, and be the best that you can be.