What percentage of aspies end up marrying or in LTRs?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm trying to ascertain what percentage of aspies end up marrying, getting engaged, being in long term relationships (LTRs), common law marriages, etc.

I'm running a poll, sorted by sex and age (because if you are young, I wouldn't think it's very likely that you would be married or otherwise attached yet anyway). Even though it's sorted by sex, I'm not trying to start a battle of the sexes or a debate about who has it easier.

I'm 54, and I'm married.

I had a previous fiancee. I had about 3 other LTR's.

Close to none.

Though, this was with Digby Tantam's studies for the DSM-IV-TR on Asperger's (he worked on the criteria for it).

I don't know what modern stuff says. Doubt it's much higher, though, as a lack of peer relations is needed now with the DSM-5 (without support that is).

I'm 48, been married for 15 years. Had one LTR (19 months) before that. Couple of 2 mo. relationships.

What is DSM?

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

The thing that holds the diagnostic criteria for ASDs.

You can find Digby Tantam's findings back when Asperger's was being put in the DSM-IV on Google Books.

I haven't looked for new stuff, but I'm sure it's out there.

For neurodiversity, there appears to be no difference at all, but it is likely this is different for diagnosed ASD. I'd be surprised if having problems getting into relationships wasn't a big thing in diagnoses.

What do you mean rdos? Are you saying that before diagnosis aspies had no trouble finding partners? If you are correct this would have shocking implications. It would mean diagnosis is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm 32 & been living with my girlfriend about 3 years now. My other two relationships each lasted about 6 months. My current & 2nd were both on the spectrum & I met them on this forum.

I've read that somewhere too, it was close to 0% for males.

More that having trouble finding a partner leads to diagnosis. Thus, neurodiverse people that have trouble finding a partner are more likely to get diagnosed.



Could be the like that as well. Being diagnosed early in life could lead to problems finding a partner. That could be because they expect such problems which becomes self-fulfilling, or are taught bad methods of finding a partner (dating) that doesn't work for them.

Pretty much what led to my diagnosis. It was in retrospect as I was diagnosed after I was married, but had a lot of trouble before that with getting dates and girlfriends.

Bad methods? I remember most of the classes for adult aspies on dating and other life skills were pretty bad. They were very simple, ineffective and kind of patronizing. I attended them more because I liked having the chance to hang out with other aspies IRL then for the lessons.

Most of the dating classes were taught by women. Most of the students were guys. I'v got nothing against women but these heterosexual, NT women had never had the experience of being a guy, dating a girl. Instead the had the totally different experience of being a girl, dating a guy.

I mean, would you want a driving instructor who had never driven a car?

Their idea of what a guy should do while dating was quite simplistic and furthermore, they were NT women, married to NT men. So the men they were once dating, being NTs already knew what they were doing. So things that aspies might not know, they took for granted because their NT husbands already knew. They assumed we would know.

They taught us stuff that was obvious even to us aspies. They said things like practice good personal hygiene before a date. We know already They didn't mention things related to body language such as how to tell a girl is flirting with you, how to flirt back, when to go in for a kiss, etc, because in the teacher's NT/NT relationships, both parties took such knowledge entirely for granted.

I'm 25 yrs old, female , single and never met the right guy
older I get, less likely marriage is going to happen.

Never been in a long term relationship and tbh gone past caring

Dedicating my life to my hobbies and interests and spirituality and just making the most of my remaining life.

Thank you for sharing. I just want to point out to the guys on L&D who say guys have it harder and girls can get a boyfriend any time they want, this is further evidence that this is not the case. Finding a partner is challenging for both sexes.

37, male, married for about 9 years- with same woman for almost 12. Prior to that I had two relationships, one abotu 4 years and the other, my first, a little over a year.

Full disclosure- I have never received a diagnosis, so Im not sure if I skew the figures. Most online tests seem to indicate a strong possibility of my being somewhere on the spectrum, so...