Copying and pasting dating profiles

Post Reply New Topic

I've been having a lot of trouble filling out my dating profile. It might be because of my depression, but I think it's also the same issue I've dealt with at school.

When people ask me certain types of questions I have a lot of trouble putting things in my own words. I just get very stuck. It just takes me a very long time to think of my own words. I rarely have this problem on forums. The words just come to me and I can just type them as I think.

For some reason this doesn't work when I'm doing an assignment or filling out my dating profile. I guess my life and school are boring topics to me.

What I'm doing to cope with this is creating an empty profile. I answer the questions like the ideal version of me. After that I browse my highest matches and copy text from the most interesting profiles into a word document.

After I paste them in I erase all of the factual inaccuracies. That would include stuff like different jobs, location, personality traits and interests I definitely don't have. After I sleep on it I erase stuff that's redundant or doesn't get the right message across.

I asked NTs what they thought of this. They obviously had a bad reaction to this. They thought it was plagiarism and dishonesty. I don't think I'm doing anything that's too bad. I took bits and pieces from a bunch of profiles and put together a profile that describes me.

I think it does make me seem less depressed than I actually am. It basically describes the ideal version of myself without straight up lying.

I think it would make me look cool to say I'm a fire dancer or travel with a circus, but I don't say that because it's a lie. What I would do instead is look for people like that and copy parts of their profile that are still factually accurate about me.

I think as long as what you have written about yourself is true then it doesn't matter that you borrowed the words to say it. This isn't a school assignment. You don't get credit or a grade. If you need help expressing yourself then I think you have been a bit ingenius. If I understand properly most everything you borrowed has been manipulated and changed to reflect your true self.
Doesn't most everyone represent themselves as the best possible version of themselves when dating? The finer details of your true self will slowly reveal themselves as you get to know another person. Good luck!

I usually just look for interesting profiles that are similar to me. I'm trying to reflect my non-depressed personality in my profile. I guess a lot of people could consider that fake because they don't really get to see the non-depressed version of me.

I recall that you weren't sure yet of your sexual orientation.

Why don't you try to date guys? They are easier.

Ask bi girls, they always tell me that dating guys is easier.

You're having a hard time in online dating because you are facing almost the same difficulties what straight men face.

Based on the other threads I have the impression you're being the "chaser" (like guys in dating, usually) not the chasee, am I right on that?

Are you ready to be that nondepressed person? Or will the new person you meet wonder where the dating profile elements are hiding? I mean if you say you love dancing but could not actually go dancing just yet then that new person might become frustrated quickly and give up. If you dont dance now but are wanting to find someone who loves dancing because you are looking for a willing partner then that will work. Meeting someone who expects you to be your ideal self can be very motivational.
I don't have the mental energy to be the self I wish I was but I have found a lot of happiness in accepting myself and my limitations. I can get a tad lazy at times, though, and it feels great when someone or something occasionally makes me go beyond my cozy little self imposed limits and be my ideal self.

The only two things guys ask themselves when evaluating a prospective mate:

A) Does she look good enough to give me an erection?

B) Do I realistically have a shot with her?

A) is entirely based on your pics. But s**t, if you're 19 and not grotesquely fat, you automatically pass the boner test for any man with a functioning libido. B) is mostly based on your pics.

Hmm, I'm sure she wants to know she can pass a boner test? this can lead to objectification and lust for the wrong reasons, no genuine connectivity will come of that. You can only wear a mask for so long, you can only live an illusion for so long..sometimes being yourself, no matter how vulnerable you feel is the bravest thing you can do..

Devilkisses, Do not compromise or change yourself for people who wouldn't grant you the same courtesy..it might seem like acceptance or a way out of loneliness but you will only end up regretting it later.

Look at it this way..when you truly connect to someone, it will be special because it is a rarity for you.

I'm ready to be that non-depressed person. I actually have a higher energy level when I pretend to be non-depressed. It isn't a draining mask.

My rule for profiles is to keep everything factually correct. I may not be able to own my own place, have a job or travel the world, but I actually still do art so I can describe myself as an artist. I don't say that I live with my parents, don't have a job or haven't travelled outside of my city alone either. I just avoid saying all of that.

I do leave vague and desireable personality traits like not thinking in black and white and trying new things. My depressed self who is sick of dealing with family doesn't like to try new things with family, but I might enjoy trying new things with a date.

Enough with that! I have no interest in dating guys. I don't give a damn about my "true sexuality".

At this moment I'm avoiding guys because I have no experience with girls. I do not want to date a guy and suddenly be "curious" about girls. I just think it's icky when straight couples search for a "third." Guys also like to play the domination game and I'm not going to deal with that game until I have more experience and independence.

Can people please stop giving me advice that only works for straight girls? It's not useful for me. I don't care if I pass "the boner test" or if men are "easier" for bi girls.

This kind of plagiarism will come back to bite you, some people are good at noticing these things.

There was a Youtuber who did something similar ans she was called out for it.

If you aren't feeling at you best maybe hold off.

I have trouble articulating may thoughts too. What I would suggest is to try getting it down no matter how bad, scrappy, non linear, it is. Even it is just individual words ans phases. Leave it a while and come back, rearrange and refine a bit. Rinse and repeat.

DevilKisses,

Fine, no need to be all that mad, jeez. I didn't know you made up your mind about this earlier.

Just say "I only want to pursue girls for now" or something like that.

And remember, I am much older than you, show some respect, I am not your school mate to yell at.

It's not like she's faking things, she's just borrowing well written parts and adjusting them to be relevant for her.

Isn't the same when someone shows their dating profile here, asks for help, and people start to correct/omit/adjust/add stuff to it? The ending result would be the same: a sculpted profile which isn't fully written by the original author.

It is not the same, becuase the meaning is understood, and they are asking for editing advice. Or where the meaning is not clear they can ask for clarity and make suggestions.

In this case she is borrowing the meaning these people and adjusting it so it is more credible for her, but she hadn't though of what to say so it isn't really her.

If she wanted to ask for editing advice I'm sure people would help her.

DevilKisses when you chose profiles to copy you made certain personality choices, focus on those factors to write something in your own words.

What I have seen happening in those threads was way beyond than simple editing; total parts usually get reworded by others.
It's like what people do for job resumes.

It is the same thing, believe me.

You don't get respect for being older than me. Not all bi girls find it easier to date guys. Bi girls who are in my situation find it easier to date girls. Not all bi girls are in one group.