It sucks how a pretty girl can date even if she's boring..

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But a guy has to have CONFIDENCE and self worth to have the same success.

I'm not talking as one of those good-looking jocks and frat kings who are D-bags, I'm talking about those adorable looking autistic boys who grow up to be handsome adults, but have no success with women whatsoever.

When I sometimes see an ugly guy with a pretty girl, I assume the guy is rich or the girl had an awful past experience with a football player who was cocky. Girls should know that not all good looking guys are full of themselves. Some can be insecure and shy like anyone else.

I feel like confidence is something you're born with. Every time I try to fit in with people and they act snobby and take my jokes as lame. Society always tries to hammer introverts as the wrong ones like this:

Can't flirt = you're not trying.
Got bullied = you asked for it.
Shy kid = thinks he's superior.
Boring with women = maybe you always talk about yourself.

Have you considered that:

A pretty girl might be smart + interesting

An "ugly" guy isn't actually ugly -- it's your ego trying to make yourself feel better by deeming an okay or average-looking dude "ugly"

Confident = accomplished stuff + have interesting things to say.

Confident has NOTHING to do with snobby. (Insecure folks tend to be snobby and mean, attempting to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Happy, confident, family-money-rich people are the least pretentious, least snobby people ever. Think supermodel Cara Delvigne -- Rich, gorgeous, open, trusting fearless. If you're not scared, if your social social position's secure, you're lovely and friendly and neither mean nor snobby. You've no reason to be).

Adorable autistic boy who grew up to be a handsome adult who has no success with women whatsoever = adult autistic man with an inflated sense of self + unable to empirically assess his physical appearance + delusional sense of over-entitlement to women that manifests as a gigantic chip on his shoulder that many women sensibly prefer to avoid

^^
A pretty girl can be interesting, true.

But the title is true as well, a boring with pretty face girl will not have much trouble to get dates and even second and third dates; maybe with superficial guys, but still...she would get dates way more than a boring guy.

We all know this is true.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Nov 2015, 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't know where I stand on this. Dating someone for only their looks is superficial. For instance, I know that I'm not super gorgeous. Anyone who thinks I am has never seen me with my hair down and no makeup. I look like a man!

If a guy or girl is beautiful yet boring, then chances are they will date shallow, boring people. Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to speak for other people because...well, everyone is different.

I have a set "type" but I'm more realistic than I used to be. Still doesn't mean that I find the guys I know to be my type.

My mom really wants me to meet another dude with autism. All of the ones I know aren't my type. I won't truly know that until I meet one who can hold down a nice conversation about books, literature and likes sushi and Indian Food. There's more expectations than that, but I like examples

"Boring" can be quite subjective too, it depends on interests, what's boring for you might not be boring for others.

Confidence can be a catch-22 for men, sometimes. They can't get a date because they aren't confident, and they can't build their confidence, because they can't get a date.

As far as boring, pretty girls getting dates...well, men are mostly to blame for it. They tend to be more concerned about a girls looks, and less picky about a girls personality.

IMO
Attractive looks attract people inevitably, which is probably why attractive people have more opportunities to being hit on, to date someone.
but attractive(not boring) personality can develop attractiveness and maintain attractiveness.

So you're saying that boring pretty girls deserve to remain dateless like boring guys?

Its easy to say us aspie males are entitled misogynist when you can just shake your ass and get laid by anyone you want.

No...don't put words in my mouth. lol

Nobody deserves to remain dateless, if they are making a genuine effort to find someone. The OP wanted to know why certain women found a date, while he (or other guys in this position did not). There is a certain inequality in the dating game, though, and I was just explaining one of the reasons behind this.

Did OP? Then, I'll answer again. My answer is "Because a lot women probably don't need to sex, they can live happily without sex(men) while men need sex? (I think it's wrong answer again..sorry I've just got up so my brain is still in malfunction.)

What is "confidence" anyways? It seems like it's relative, but when mentioned with regard to males dating it's always about being a confident talker. What about people who are confident in other ways? Why does there have to be so much emphasis on talking? It's true an introvert might take longer to get to know because he talks less, but it seems like nobody has patience these days. Everyone wants instant gratification in the form of entertainment. Deeper things aren't given a chance. The world is severely slanted in favor of chatty extroverts. They don't even have to be confident in other areas as long as their good at being talkative and entertaining.

You're forgetting that most women don't want to get laid by anyone. It would only be a huge advantage if girls enjoyed casual sex as much as a lot of men do. Some do, but most do not.

In terms of actually finding relationships (not just dates or casual sex) women don't have it that much easier. They don't have to deal with rejection so much, but they have to deal with guys who don't actually love them and are only interested in sex. Rejection sucks, but so does finding out a guy only wants you for sex. It's another form of rejection. Women who love causal sex and FWB relationships are the only ones at a big advantage in the dating game.

Also, while it's true the majority of heterosexual guys will have sex with almost any girl, there are guys who are choosy as well. There are even guys who are asexual like me.

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Just a general warning, but this is the "Love and Dating" forum, not the "Bash the Opposite Sex" forum.

People who can't abide by that will receive official warnings.

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I'm going to ignore the generalisations on this thread and go to something I picked out in the OPs first post.

Yes, this is annoying. It is such a pain when other people decided that they know your circumstances and how you feel and what your abilities are and then tell you what you ought to be doing about it.

Although, on the plus side, at least with the first one they aren't dismissing you and saying, "no you shouldn't try"

I find that you can't please everyone, so you've just got to do your best. I had an annoying exchange with a female friend a few months ago who was convinced that I was doing x because of y and so on. And what hurt the most was that she couldn't understand my perspective and how I was trying, just maybe not in the exact same kind of way she would.

Mind you, that last one is good advice. This is something I am trying to improve in myself. It is good to ask other people about themselves rather than talk at them. That is definately a fault I have.

Another issue with this is people who have difficulty talking about themselves. It's hard to get to know someone who doesn't really talk about themselves much, and makes it far to easy to revert talking about only yourself, so that you have something to talk about with the person. My one and only (mostly ineffective) strategy
continue asking questons about themselves and other methods of communcation to encourage their own input rather than my own. This is what's recommended as well most of the time, but in practice it isn't a perfect method. Some need an extra effort.