Is this an unhealthy coping method and how to stop?

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This is going to be long, but I really need the help:

When in a relationship, if I worry or stress that things won't work out, or even if I'm single and get rejected, I imagine the idea of a 'dream girl' in my head that is probably completely different from my current girlfriend.

This dream girl contains all qualities I desire in a female.

As a coping mechanism to either ignore rejection or stop stressing that a relationship will fail, I essentially imagine that she is what the future holds.

So, I'm basically mentally telling myself "If my girlfriend breaks up with me, that's not a bad thing because then I will be single, and I can only date my dream girl if I am single. If I am single it means I can end up with this dream girl in my head instead of the 'inferior' girlfriend I have now."

If this sounds unhealthy and a55h•lish that's because it is.

I care about my current girlfriend dearly, it's just if things don't last, I'll try and make myself feel better by saying "Now I can find a girl with more of the traits I desire!"

The thing is, I imagine actual events and scenarios with this imaginary girlfriend in my head.

Anyway, here's a FAQ:

1. Am I saying I'm not satisfied with my current relationship? No, I'm saying when worried, to feel better I think being single would be good because then that puts me on the market for someone better.

2. Do I expect my current gf to live up to the expectations of the imaginary one? Not at all. My current gf is completely different and this is the way I like it.

3. "You don't love her, you love the idea of her". - It's not one of those situations. There is no 'idea' of her to live up to. I like her as she is, it's just whenever I face any sort of rejection or failure with any female, to cope I imagine a fictional gf that I can now end up with because I'm on the market again.

Is this okay or should I stop these thoughts? I'm happy with my current gf, but I'm such a stress-head I imagine only the worst.

The problem is, in the past whatever mindset I have had has only resulted in a negative outcome. Thinking optimistic and positive usually results in a negative outcome (optimistically believing my first girlfriend loved me back when she didn't.) and thinking pessimistically usually turns out exactly how I expected it to.

I remember the day my first girlfriend broke up with me (for the second time). That morning I was telling myself/thinking to myself 'stop worrying, it's fine, she cares about you and you don't have to try and be something/someone you're not to impress her, it's time you stop stressing about nothing because it's all in your head'. F•cking 3 hours later I'm dumped because she doesnt have feelings for me anymore.

Anyway, usually I stress so much it can also be a self-fulfilling propechy.

What I'm saying is, this imaginary girlfriend thing is the only thing that puts me at ease. The only thing that stops me from stressing out if my relationsgip will end, is that it at least means I am available for another girl, a 'better' girl, my 'dream' girl.

How can I stop these thoughts or are there any alternatives to stopping me from stressing that my relationship will fail and for me to relax?

Just typing this post out is making me feel like crying, I'm that distressed and upset. I just don't want to screw this up. Last time I saw the gf I was freaking out on the car ride home away from her house because I was worried it would be a self-fulfilling propechy.

F•ck my ex-girlfriend for making my first relationship such a bad one. I've been scarred to the point I'm having trouble making it work with this new one.

This is a much-shortened reply than I desired.

It's not unhealthy to have a fantasy figure. Every human from every gender has one.

Fantasy figures are almost always less substantial than the actual people with whom people have relationships.

It is unhealthy to expect a partner to meet all the criteria for a fantasy figure.

People are almost always able to have both--a fantasy figure and an actual partner, and to realize that the actual partner is so much more substantial than the mere fantasy figure.

Even Angelina Jolie realizes that Brad Pitt is not the Brad Pitt of many ladies' fantasies.

No, there's nothing unhealthy about your coping method. It cultivates what pick up artists call an "abundance" mentality--you realize that there are other, better opportunities out there so you don't become desperate and clingy. Being desperate and anxious to please actually drives women away! Just don't tell your real GF about your imaginary one.