New Unexpected Dilemma I Need Advise On- HELP!! !

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I'm glad I offer support on here at times because unfortunately I'm asking for advise on the dilemma below.

Ok so basically this girl in a store (I merchandise stuff in weekly for the past few weeks) remembered my name and was recently using it to address me (so rather than hi or bye (like everyone else says) it was instead “Hi Adam” and “bye Adam” and she wanted me to remember her name (which I did). Admittedly I was initiating some of these conversations, but she seemed to be joking along just fine and possibly indicating to me a shared interest (perhaps romantically). So against my better wishes and judgement I returned to the store today and approached her as she was coming out of the back area of the store (she had no reason to expect me to return in that week as my calls are weekly). I asked if we could just go out the back as I wanted to ask her something and when we got out to the back my words were- "So i made the mistake yesterday by leaving without your phone number and the hope that we might go out some time". She responded “Yer sure". She sort of seemed enthusiastic, certainly not disinterested but she doesn't know her mobile number off by heart (her phone would be upstairs in her locker I assume) and because i didn't have my bag on me i had no paper to write mine down (once I'd offered to give that to her). So she said I could give it to her another time but when I asked when she was working she didn't know when (which may or may not have been true) for me to next see her. So i said- "This isn't a brush of is it because if you're not interested then you can just tell me......" to which she interrupted with "No no its just.." and then she said something insignificant that I’ve forgotten.
So i told her I'd just get it done next time i came in and on days i know she normally works.


As much as I genuinely just wished I’d have listened to myself and just not bothered meddling in something I’m not supposed to be a part of, I now am and I’ve got to wait until the coming weekend to get some kind of answer. Now I’m sorry but the one thing I hate women for (or perhaps it’s all NT’s irrespective of gender) is that instead of giving me a gentle let down (which part of me wonders if she had wanted to do) I get fed bullsh*t which only raises hopes over the week only for me to never get that conclusive answer from which I must quickly extrapolate that she’s probably not interested so as not to keep trying to get an answer from her. It is of course possible that everything she said was exactly as she said it (no sidetracking B.S) but I need to somehow now get as conclusive an answer as I can (assuming it’s even possible for her to do that, though I can’t see why). I want to get her to basically just emphasize that if she’s not interested then can she please (however gently she feels comfortable to say it) just say it and that there’ll be no hard feelings (as I respect her decision, if not her methods of answering).

How do I get a conclusive answer without making it seem to her like I don’t have confidence in myself or that I’m not being too pushy for a direct and honest yes/no answer?
You’re not supposed to talk about negatives too much in these situations, but I feel as though if I don’t, that I’ll have to just quit so as to save face.

What really pisses me off is that they can't just say "sorry I don't feel that way about you", it's not exactly rocket science and plus I'd even already started to say that if she didn't want to then she could just tell me, that should really help not to make it awkward for her to put the truth to me.

The thing that just pisses me off is that I ordinarily don't care that I can't be loved romantically by anyone (to be honest I've lived my life by that understanding and thrived on it etc) but it's typical that the only time I'm vulnerable and afraid of that fact is when I'm stupid enough to give in to the nonsense desire of love.

Seems to me like she is interested... You gave her the perfect opportunity to back out and she didn't take it.

I might be missing something here, but why is it so hard to believe that A) She really didn't know her phone number, and B) She wasn't sure when she was working next? If she really did want to brush you off, she likely would have done it when you asked.

Next time you're there, bring a pen and paper with you to ensure that you can write your phone number down and give it to her. That way, you'll be able to know pretty well whether she's interested in you by whether she follows through and rings you or not.

Don't torture yourself over it. She hasn't done anything that suggests she's disinterested (as far as I'm concerned).

Maybe she felt "put on the spot" or pressured.

If someone asks me for sensitive information such as my phone number or email then my mind starts a process of elimination attempting to deduct why that particular person might ask me for it and what the potential consequences might be.

My answer, while all this is going on, is an awkward...: "err, my phone isn't on me" or "My email address got suspended and I haven't had time to get another account".

It's probably obvious I'm lying

Then I'll have a think about it when they've gone and the pressure is off me. Then I'll make a decision as to if I share that sensitive information with that particular person.

Maybe she was just going through a similar process? She might be lying or telling a "white lie" to be polite about it, but she's not necessarily trying to hurt you. She might just need a few private moments to "compose herself" or "powder her nose" or something before she can give you an answer like that.

Possible.

Wait and see if she talks to you next time!

So this is what I'm gonna say to her next time I see her (it'll be the last time if she rejects my offer as I'll just go in to merchandise thereafter on days I know she's not in). Obviously I'm expecting and prepared for the the worst (to be longed off with excuses or her perhaps giving me her number but never responding to the one or two texts I'll send ) but hoping for the best of course.

"So I think I took you by surprise last time, hopefully I wasn't too presumptuous, do you still wanna exchange numbers and meet up some time?"

I cannot say or do anything to improve the situation, but hopefully the above ^^^^ is clear in it's intentions, to the point and not pushy or offensive, what do you think guys?

There is one further upshot (in the unlikely event this works out), if she does say yes and if we do end up meeting and eventually dating and become a couple, then this means I can believe in the possibility that it could work with other girls (in the event the relationship goes sour at any point in the future) and I'll know that I can be seen as being attractive (which I can and will only ever believe in the event of a success).

Do say that and tell us how it went. Good luck sir.

I don't really think there's anything you need to do. You made it clear you're interested, and she didn't take it. If it was mutual she would've given you her number or tried again. You're welcome to try again, just know that if someone likes you and feels you, they put the effort. She made excuses, and left. People don't do that if they like you.

I'm an NT girl and i hope i could help u understand how we crazy women think! Although we are not all the same.

You have 2 possibilities: either the girl was put on the spot and decided to say a little lie to be polite and not hurt your feelings, or the girl is really interested but simply didn't know her phone number or when she will be working next week.

I can imagine that sitting waiting wishing can be very stressful. The false hope can be painful i know that. But my advice for u will be that u have nothing to lose!

Go back to the store let's say 3-7 days after that day. That way u give her some time to think about it and so u don't look too pushy. Approach her with a smile and say hi how r u ? (Keep it casual like every time u see her).
Wait for her reply then if she smiles and answers u the way she does usually then u can procede.

Tell her for example : i really think ur cute and id like to take u out for a coffee or something..
Pause for like 3 seconds then tell her would u be interested?

If she says yes then exchange phone numbers
If not then u have ur answer

If she was trying to be polite the first time, the second time she should be "braver" to say yes or no

Remember u have nothing to lose.. In a few days u will get over it .
I can only imagine how hard waiting is but keep in mind that
"Love requires a brave heart"
I don't know who said that but i really believe it.

Good luck and keep us updated !

Remeber to smile and make eye contact !