dcj123 wrote:
I have no close friends and I like it that way but I met someone who is good with computers like me at my last church, still text him every now and than. The only other friend I have was someone I met in College. Honestly I have been isolating a lot lately and I love it, a good day is day when no one calls or texts me. Friends are over rated and no one actually cares about you so keep that mind.
I don't trust people, they probably want something from you, even those from church. I find the solution is to look at people the way they view you. Instead of viewing people as nice, warm, loving people; view them like a chess piece. I'll do for you what you do for me, I don't mind being used cause usually I am using you too. I don't care if I don't get anything out of it, I am not friends with anyone for the hell of it.
Sound cold? Well just know the world made me the way I am.
What if all someone wants from you is to chat about computers? That actually sounds pleasant to me.
Your comment reminded me of an observation: people on the spectrum have a really difficult time understanding or identifying the various *layers* or depths of relationships, myself included. Apparently many NT people determine "friendship" based on any number of things. Could be trust based on a single important incident, could be trust based on length of friendship, could be membership in some group, could be a common interest, could even be how much they *want* that person to be their friend, or if there might be a mutually beneficial practical use of each other - or any one or more of countless other things. And it seems that each person gives each of these a weight to arrive a some threshold past which someone is considered their "friend". To make it more frustrating, not only are those weights and thresholds different between people, but they seem to vary within the same person. So far, it all makes sense to me and I can work with that as a system. Where I get confounded is that somehow they seem to be able to silently communicate with each other and sync up their values.
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“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan