Really need some wise, insightful thoughts on this

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I was doing a course towards the end of last year, and I really fell very in love with the teacher. It got too much for me being around him- so I left- and I sent him an email telling him that ''I really like you and am very attracted to you'' as well as explaining myself a bit. It was a frank and respectful, apologetic overture.

That was about a month ago- I have had absolutely no reply, and so I accept that the reply is, well, nothing- no response- for reasons I can easily speculate on. I have no idea if he has somebody or not. BUT, he did seem interested in me, or at least to like me. I can misjudge these things due to emotional problems related to PTSD that I have been in therapy for for a while- I am aware of this, and yet....

Basically, I really fell in love with this person- and I am not sure how to resolve it in my head, with no definite closure. It was a long shot anyway I guess- plus I made the mistake of telling him that I had had severe mental health problems a little while before revealing my attraction to him. Bad move no doubt.

I don't know what to do. I will probably never see him again. I am genuinely heart broken.

What should I do ? What should I assume is the situation ?? I have left his class and the college.

If I were in your shoes I would let it go. I was in a similar situation where I thought someone liked me and i was infatuated by this person to the point of pain. It ended up in disaster with her breaking off our friendship and cutting all communication. I was in severe pain and I needed closure. The main thing I would say is that what ever the outcome was it is the outcome and to accept it. I wanted full closure by fixing it or knowing that everything was ok. The hardest part for me was to accept that I might never know it was hard, but it allowed me to heal which was what I needed. Now I can't speak for you as I do not know how you feel or what it was like, but do what you need to do what is right for you. These are my two cents at least. Hope this helped, although it probably was not what you wanted to hear.

Thank you. I daresay you're right. if I really had any chance with him, he would have been straight back to me- perhaps anyway.

I tried my best, I really don't think I could have handled it any better, given that I am not very robust. At least I told him- I sent him an email to tell him, so he saw it- so now he knows that I am interested in him. Beyond that, I should let it go.

Hopefully he will take the compliment at the very least, and not hold it against me.

I'd have to agree. It's a lousy situation, but I think you have to assume he has his reasons.

(I was wondering if it could be a professional ethics thing, though you are now an ex-student of his, and obviously your age isn't an issue.)

I don't think he'd hold your interest against you.

From my experience, I think all there is to do is let go, and grieve as you need to. My (first and, so far, last) unrequited love was at 17. The what-ifs bugged me for years - if I'd said this or done that or been different. I still cringe at some of it, but this stuff will make fools of us. You clearly have a sound head on your shoulders.

Good luck.

Thank you- but, the thing is, I kind of am tormenting myself with ''what if''s and ''how I could have been''s. I hate myself for telling him I have had severe mental health problems- but then, that shouldn't have put him off, if he really liked me, should it ?? If I stood a chance that is.

There is no way of knowing that I really stood a chance- but I am worried that he is not trying to get in touch because of the supposed ethics (urghh) around me being a ''vulnerable adult''. But the email I sent outing myself, was mature and diplomatic- so surely that can't be the case ? I tried to let him know my interest with eye contact as well- I have done all that I could feasibly do, given my own limitations as well.

If he is available, and does like me, then I think his reasons are shoddy at best- but then he clearly values his job very much, so maybe liking a student would threaten that, and his reputation. Again, urghhh.

I feel very hurt by his apparent disinterest, I suppose. But then- it was a long shot. He is in his forties and has made a name for himself in his field, and is very well liked and respected. I am in my late twenties and am still recovering from severe psychiatric illness that I have been dealing with my whole adult life thus far.

I guess he's out of my league (though in some ways I think that is bullshit- I am talented myself, and have a wise head on my shoulders from plenty of very hard life experiences). But, still. I guess we're in different worlds.

I don't know how to resolve it emotionally- I want to confide in someone, but don't have the contact details for anyone in the class I can trust. Yes, I have tried facebooking them. Urghhhh.