Anyone else think relationships are irrational or overrated?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not asexual, and I've certainly felt romantic attraction before, but at the same time, I can't help but think that romantic relationships seem really irrational, and that getting into one is kind of illogical. I mean, romance doesn't work out in real life the way it does in fictional love stories, and unfortunately, that's what I seem to want. People seem to put such a huge emphasis on finding romantic partners and getting hitched, and I'm just sitting here shaking my head because it seems like a lot more trouble than it's worth.

I like the idea of f**k buddies though, like friends you hang out with but also have sex with once in a while. Some may think it seems kinda shallow, but really, isn't that what most people want out of a relationship, sex and companionship? Why go for all the trouble and drama of a full relationship when you could have a girl who just acts like "one of the guys" that you mess around with once in a while? I mean, this prospect may seem unrealistic too, but I wouldn't doubt it if there were people out there doing things like this. Marriage is an outdated concept with strong ties to organized religion, and likewise, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are largely an extension of this, IMO. If people are attracted to one another, and they want to, they should just have sex, provided it's done safely and they respect other things like age of consent, family boundaries, etc.

I dunno, people get so worked up about relationships and all that crap when it really just boils down to a few simple things. Then again, I've never had a proper girlfriend, so what do I know? Hell, I'm still a virgin. My only knowledge really comes from the outside, as well as a couple close calls where I *almost* ended up dating certain girls.

I do believe many relationships can be very emotionally driven and expend a lot of time and energy when it could be invested in something more productive. Some people face divorce, debt, pressure and stress just to fit in, society forces social expectations and limitations on others for no meaningful reason.

Monogamy will be preferable for many more years, monotheistic traditions are still prevalent in our society.

I used to think they were till I stumbled into my 1st relationship.

atheist here, enjoying marriage to someone with a nebulous belief in some sort of god or other. it's a commitment to give oneself wholeheartedly to the relationship. he was head over heels and deserved such an all-out response.

Yeah I get what you're saying. Why get into a relationship if all you want to do is just f**k? But honestly, even though a lot of guys are interested in only sex, because of social anxiety around women and lack of understanding how to flirt, one night stands and hookups are not really much of an option. Not to mention, some men prefer to f**k girls that they actually give a s**t about.


Some people want to have a gf/bf just for the sake of having one, especially if you've never experienced it before. They think that getting a girlfriend will all of a sudden make their lives better but what they don't know is how to maintain a girlfriend and that isn't always easy. They focus all their time trying to get a gf but once they get a gf, they don't know what to do.




If you want a girlfriend, then get someone who you are actually compatible with and share some common interests and she has a good personality. The last thing you want is to date a chick whom you share no interests with and she isn't even attractive, but you're only dating her because you have no options and you feel like you need to settle down.


Basically If a man is physically attracted to a woman and likes her personality, he LTRs her. If a man is physically attracted to a woman and does not like her personality, he has a ONS with her. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman and likes her personality, he friendzones her. If a man is not physically attracted to a woman and does not like her personality, then hopefully he cuts contact with her because I see no benefit for the man in such a relationship. I am generalizing here, but more or less if you ask men this is true.

If something is beyond my reach, I have no business telling those enjoying it they should rate it less. If the grapes are beyond my reach, I refuse to believe they're sour.

I sort of feel the same way--but many women want more from a guy. They want an assurance of monogamy.

Also, monogamy is an ideal a man should shoot for. If it works, it feels much better than the friends-with-benefits thing. It feels like you put in the work, so to speak.

Talking about the nature of your relationship all the time is irritating. I prefer to just enjoy it.

What you wrote does make sense. At times I find myself thinking,"Is there really any point in being in one?"

This is only my opinion, but I do not believe in this whole friends with benefits thing. To me it is gross and awkward. A guy who would be sleeping with me would be no friend because my definition of a friend certainly does not involve sexual activity. Then again, this is only my opinion. People should do what they want and it is none of my business.

I wouldn't say they're over-rated. Being in love is f*****g awesome. The means of finding love though.. that's highly over-rated and irrational. The mind games you have to play.. they just aren't worth it. Especially when people just want "f**k buddies" because it ruins it for people who don't. People will pretend as if they want a relationship to just get laid, or pretend they don't only to end up figuring out they want one. It's all just a huge game and I hate playing it. If it came naturally, if you could build trust and honesty without all those ridiculous steps you have to take, it'd be awesome. But alas, in our hook-up culture, it doesn't happen anymore.

I've met people who were in open marriages and seemed happy with it. It's still a sort of commitment, though, in that they share housing and food.

It at least seems that way for me. I fall for guys I can't have then finally I had a guy who was within my reach that I had feelings for and all he did was break my heart.
I am sort of dating but I miss when I was single. I enjoy spending time with him and since he loves me I feel like I can't just leave him just to be alone so it makes it hard to break up but I cry sometimes at night because I feel wrong with him.
There's just no spark for me but I'm a loyal person.

If anything, relationships are the only human interaction and affection form that makes sense other then kin. It's the idea of not being always alone. It's beautiful.

They're 120% irrational & wholly underrated.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Love isn't overrated, but dating relationships definitely are. There are so many other forms of love and so many forms that interactions between people can take, but so much of this culture is focused on one particular form of romantic relationship. That's not necessary or productive.

I think you are thinking of friends with benefits....f***k buddies means you get together to have sex, not much hanging out aside from that. Friends with benefits is people who spend time together as 'friends' and sometimes go further and do intimate things. But IDK I think relationships can be overrated, or some aspects that society may make a big deal of but they can work out and can be satisfying so not necessarily overrated.