Not great at understanding feelings, anyone got experience?

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Am I the only one totally confused when it comes to feelings?
I know when I like someone, at least I think I do but sometimes I'm not sure if I actually like someone or if I like them because they like me. And sometimes I develop crushes but it drives me insane because as much as I try to act cool, I turn into a blabbering nervous wreck around them and come off as kind of tense and dorky. I can also be very needy. I get upset and anxious if I don't get an immediate reaction or if I see them with another girl.
But I don't know how to know when it's right or I should let it go. I don't know how to let it go when I feel like I like someone or there's the possiblity of something.
I really crave a romantic relationship, even if not now, someday but at the same time it frightens me because I'm scared of making huge mishaps or settling for the wrong person or hurting them inadvertently or getting hurt myself.
I also worry about how I come off. I don't want to be needy but I need someone I can be myself with and I'm really insecure, even though I try not to be and shrug it off because I know that's how I'm 'supposed' to behave.
And quite a lot of the time I can be very naive when it comes to people. I feel really dumb when it comes to this area. I also don't know if I'll ever find someone willing to practice the sort of patience that I need to be shown.

Are there any experienced aspies in sucessful long term relationships that can tell me about their positive experiences and how to, you know, figure feelings out? I feel very lost when it comes to this.

I have lots of experience with "feelings."

I would say: you should get romantic with the person for whom you feel you have most in common. It would be ideal if this feeling of "commonality" is accompanied by sexual feelings.

I would never settle for a person because you are lonely--big mistake! Been there, done that!

Have you felt romantic for a person in the past? What sort of feelings do you get in your body? If you feel a vague sense of "butterflies," then you just might have feelings for the person.

As a man, it's much easier for me to determine if I have sexual feelings for a person--probably at least somewhat easier than it is for a woman.

As a default, like I said above, if all else fails, go for the person with whom you feel you have lots of common, and with whom you want to have as a friend.

I have felt butterflies for people in the past but sometimes they've just sort of faded after a while. I'm not too concerned about sexual feelings, I think I'm more likely to be drawn to friendly, kind people who are easy to talk to. So I think that you have a good point about having things in common and a friendship. I think that would be longer lasting and easier than something born from physical attraction, at least for me because I've found that I don't really find myself interested in them anymore if they turn out to be mean or we just don't get on and as you said, it's harder as a woman to determine attraction from a man.
And I've done the whole settling thing before and it hasn't worked out so you are right about that.
I just get confused when it comes to making a decision I guess. I can find decision making very overwhelming and difficult most of the time especially since my mind likes to go into overdrive, mulling over millions of possiblities and what ifs.

You know what? I wouldn't be surprised if most humans go through what you go through when it's time to make a decision pertaining to romance.

What I think would clinch it, in your case, is if you have a high regard and respect for that person, in addition to the previously stated commonality.

Part of real self confidence is knowing that you are in control of your now and future. Knowing that you are never actually tied down and that you are allowed to try relationships on for size and fit will help you better able to make longterm decisions. You seen to just be putting alot of pressure on yourself unnecessarily, like you can't make a mistake or change your mind. You can do both. It's a myth to accept certainty as reality.

Yeah you're right. I just feel wary of turning someone down and their reaction if I decide I've made a mistake.