Dating websites are not for males - scientific proof.

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Andreger
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09 Jan 2016, 8:22 pm

73% of women 18-25 agree that men lack online flirting skills, says new research published in The Hindustan Times: http://www.hindustantimes.com/sex-and-r ... dz3qI.html

Interpretation is the key here - 73% of those girls want to be treated quite differently while they are online, they demand from men simultaneously opposite traits - being enough assertive and confident to pursue them and at the same time enough submissive and dependent to still put those girls on the throne.

While many of them want it in real life as well, those desires are levered by live's realities, and so much less visible and influential.

This research has proved once again - social network and dating sites may be good for women to find a boyfriend, but not vice versa.



Grammar Geek
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09 Jan 2016, 8:24 pm

Okay...but what is it men say exactly that turns women off? They never gave any examples.



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09 Jan 2016, 8:26 pm

To paraphrase William Somerset Maugham ...

Women using on-line dating sites expect to find in men a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers.


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Scaevitas
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09 Jan 2016, 8:29 pm

Inb4 a woman can't get a date online to combat your thread, op.

Despite women having better odds, there are some pretty basic people in social networking. Both genders, anyway. I've met one decent person off of sn site, and my ex on a videogame.

If I met anyone else, it'd have to be in rl, and sure as hell not on here. Aspie women frighten me, anyway.



Andreger
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09 Jan 2016, 8:30 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
Okay...but what is it men say exactly that turns women off? They never gave any examples.


I'm not sure but I know that it is not respect to girls. I checked it and found out that nice behavior for girls is much worse than hitting them.



Hopper
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09 Jan 2016, 8:31 pm

Eh, I did alright out of them - certainly way better than I would have thought.

As with most things in dating, it really depends who and what you're looking for.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Andreger
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09 Jan 2016, 8:32 pm

Scaevitas wrote:
Inb4 a woman can't get a date online to combat your thread, op.

Despite women having better odds, there are some pretty basic people in social networking. Both genders, anyway. I've met one decent person off of sn site, and my ex on a videogame.

If I met anyone else, it'd have to be in rl, and sure as hell not on here. Aspie women frighten me, anyway.


Each woman can get a date online with no message sending. I'm sure that nice page on dating site with good photo will mean dating proposal in less than a week.



Hopper
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09 Jan 2016, 8:47 pm

Also, this was a survey in India. There are doubtless particular cultural matters that may not be applicable elsewhere.

Extra also, this is more like a bit of marketing puff than 'scientific proof'.

Quote:
Interpretation is the key here - 73% of those girls want to be treated quite differently while they are online, they demand from men simultaneously opposite traits - being enough assertive and confident to pursue them and at the same time enough submissive and dependent to still put those girls on the throne.


That's not so much 'interpretation' as 'I'm just going to make s**t up cos I've got the hump about women not answering my messages'.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Andreger
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09 Jan 2016, 8:49 pm

Hopper wrote:
Also, this was a survey in India. There are doubtless particular cultural matters that may not be applicable elsewhere.

Extra also, this is more like a bit of marketing puff than 'scientific proof'.

Quote:
Interpretation is the key here - 73% of those girls want to be treated quite differently while they are online, they demand from men simultaneously opposite traits - being enough assertive and confident to pursue them and at the same time enough submissive and dependent to still put those girls on the throne.


That's not so much 'interpretation' as 'I'm just going to make s**t up cos I've got the hump about women not answering my messages'.


In Russia it should be even more according to my experience. Probably in America as well. SO maybe it is a global trend if the same pattern is repeated in completely different countries with nothing in common.

You disagree?



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09 Jan 2016, 9:10 pm

Why do women want to be put on a pedestal?
It's disgusting.



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09 Jan 2016, 9:13 pm

Andreger wrote:
This research has proved once again - social network and dating sites may be good for women to find a boyfriend, but not vice versa.


You do realize that simple math refutes this statement, right? If a women finds a boyfriend on those sites, then her boyfriend is a man, meaning that he also found a girlfriend.

I'm not saying that dating sites aren't without their flaws, particularly for men, but an equal number of (heterosexual) men and women find relationships on those sites. What I see as one of the biggest problems, for both men and women, is that online people tend to become hyperselective. In real life, you may only meet a good, quality match once every few years, if that. This is exacerbated if you are particularly unique in who you are and what you're looking for in a partner. I know for me, it's probably on average every 5 years or so, and they're usually already taken.

Online, you can instantly browse hundreds of potential matches at the click of a button. Whereas in a typical relationship people may work through their differences and difficulties, online this often ends up with simply rejecting the other person and moving on to the next one on the list. The difficulties with online dating have nothing to do with the platform itself, but the mindset of how people use it. It's kind of like "The One" syndrome, where people date hundreds of people looking for "The One", without ever realizing that they probably already met him/her more than a handful of times in the process.



Hopper
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09 Jan 2016, 9:15 pm

What 'trend'?

How these things work: The dating company - TrulyMadly - decide they need some publicity. They set up a basic bit of market research ('what are you looking for with this site? Have you had a succesful date from it?' etc) with some extra questions of 'human interest' ('could men/women be better at flirting?') added on, and send it to their users. We're told it was of over 550 women. Technically, that could mean it was ten thousand. But given the next big number up is 600, I'll assume it was 550-600. Doesn't say how many men. That angle may well come up in a promo puff piece down the line. Possibly the respondents were selected by the company, more likely they self selected and decided to do the survey.

TrulyMadly can then use the market research for their own purposes, and sell the 'human interest' stuff as a pre-written story to newspapers/sites desperate to fill their pages. I believe it is called 'churnalism'.

Hardly 'scientific proof' of anything, except the decline in journalism and a lack of critical thinking.

Now, is it your singular personal experience that, indeed, 3/4 of women think men could improve their online flirting? Or are you going round in circles about that whole 'women demand opposite things' idea?

You do see there is no implied or necessary link?


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Hopper
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09 Jan 2016, 9:26 pm

Earthling wrote:
Why do women want to be put on a pedestal?
It's disgusting.


Saves them leaping onto chairs and hoisting their dresses when they spot a mouse?


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Andreger
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09 Jan 2016, 9:28 pm

Hopper wrote:
The only 'trend' the article mentions is that 3/4 of women think men could do better at flirting online.

How these things work: The dating company - TrulyMadly - decide they need some publicity. They set up a basic bit of market research ('what are you looking for with this site? Have you had a succesful date from it?' etc) with some extra questions of 'human interest' ('could men/women be better at flirting?') added on, and send it to their users. We're told it was of over 550 women. Technically, that could mean it was ten thousand. But given the next big number up is 600, I'll assume it was 550-600. Doesn't say how many men. That angle may well come up in a promo puff piece down the line. Possibly the respondents were selected by the company, more likely they self selected and decided to do the survey.

TrulyMadly can then use the market research for their own purposes, and sell the 'human interest' stuff as a pre-written story to newspapers/sites desperate to fill their pages. I believe it is called 'churnalism'.

Hardly 'scientific proof' of anything, except the decline in journalism and a lack of critical thinking.

Now, is it your singular personal experience that, indeed, 3/4 of women think men could improve their online flirting? Or are you going round in circles about that whole 'women demand opposite things' idea?

You do see there is no implied or necessary link?


This research matches the real situation in online dating, so obviously there are some true points. If you have different interpretation for the fact that girls have it much easier to date online than boys, feel free to share it.

For sure you can google that research and find more direct link.

And you have mentioned really interesting question - can males change themselves for online dating? Some can, but in general it sounds like "can Aspies change themselves to fit perfectly into travelling salesman job?" Because the question will be the same - some can, but this is quite unnatural to the vast majority, and doesn't worth it.

I wonder is there are any people from Muslim countries, to find out what is there with dating - because as I see behavior of Muslim immigrants in Europe and Russia, they also have big problems with dating, but instead speaking about it on forums they seem to solve them by the more brutal way - rape.



Hopper
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09 Jan 2016, 9:49 pm

Stargazer43 nailed the maths point above. For every heterosexual woman that finds a succesful relationship online, so does a heterosexual man. That is the real situation in online dating.

In what way does this 1:1 make it that 'girls have it much easier than boys'?

Your comment about Muslims and rape is concerning, in many ways. I've pointed the mods to it, and am out of here.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Andreger
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09 Jan 2016, 9:57 pm

Hopper wrote:
Stargazer43 nailed the maths point above. For every heterosexual woman that finds a succesful relationship online, so does a heterosexual man. That is the real situation in online dating.

In what way does this 1:1 make it that 'girls have it much easier than boys'?

Your comment about Muslims and rape is concerning, in many ways. I've pointed the mods to it, and am out of here.


It is not 1:1 game. Most of girls doesn't interested in long relations, so they are looking for temporary ones. If I'm not mistaken, amount of marriages in Europe is now on historical lowest level, and is still decreasing, the same is in US. Second point - there are much more males on dating sites, look on their statistics. Third - many women find mates outside the online dating.

And please, write down here what exactly you said to mods. I'm sure everybody is interesting is your Islamic concern. Maybe we should be concerned about those concerns as well? You know, ISIS has some supporters in Europe.

Don't be shy, tell us.