Is being secretly attracted to people creepy?

Post Reply New Topic

I've heard from some girls that it's less creepy when guys are upfront about their feelings for them. I'm not too sure about that. I'm mostly worried about unknowingly having creepy body language around girls.

Not at all.

If anything, I would consider it natural to develop a secret crush for someone. Though from my personal experience, when someone develops a crush for someone else, they usually confide in their friends and/or family on the matter. So it becomes more of an open secret crush. Back in my days, admittedly a very long time ago, young men and women would learn about people who were attracted to them from the great grape vine, rather than the person themselves. It was then up to that person to decide whether to act on it or not.

When a girl would learn that a boy liked her, she would usually initiate a very casual conversation with them, a testing of the waters so to speak. Then from there she would slowly get to know him a bit more, and decide if this is someone that she would like to get closer to.

When a boy would learn that a girl liked him, he would usually initiate a very casual conversation with them, a testing of the waters so to speak. Then from there he would quickly pursue her and seek to capture her attentions, often pushing himself in competitive activities as a demonstration of his worthiness.

At least that's my take on it.

In spite of the hardship and suffering that I've endured, even after all these years, in the end I'm still a hopeless romantic. Actually, after typing that out, maybe I'm more of a hopeful romantic nowadays, hmm...

I don't tell my friends or family about crushes I deem inappropriate.

How do you decide which attractions are appropriate?

I know that certain attractions, such as those to animals or children are inappropriate, for obvious reasons.
Rather this is question directed at your personal cognitive reasoning of what you deem appropriate.

I didn't usually tell anyone about my crushes, either, as it never seemed appropriate for me to have a crush at all. Now, it's been a lot of years since I last met anyone I could potentially like in that way, so the problem hasn't arisen again. I have enough trouble not behaving inappropriately in front of women, because I'm pretty sure even my best attempt at a neutral face and posture is inappropriate, and I don't think there's any appropriate direction to look in, either.

...and is it creepy to secretly look at his facebook page or looking in the phone book if he's in?

and when you don't learn about it from nobody and just try to know if he likes you to or not by the way he is with you, but....last time you saw him you were soooooo nervous you could barely even talk to him?

Am I crazy and insane to write this here?

Me neither. All of my crushes (appropriate or not) were private things that most of the girls suspected, but they certainly didn't get to know it from others, and family and friends had no idea whatsoever. Actually, my parents didn't think I liked girls as young because they had no idea about my crushes.

On the rare occasion that my asexuality dips marginally below 100 percent, I have had a few crushes.

Given that I consider myself to be as much relationship material as the average xenomorph, and that I actively seek to avoid romantic attention from others, I have decided to keep whatever thoughts of attractions I might develop to myself.

I doubt I give off any "creepy" vibes as a result, as my emotional state (like many people on the spectrum) is very difficult to read. As a matter of fact, I actually once told a woman I had a crush on her (after she had expressed puzzlement over the fact that I apparently wasn't interested in anyone) and she was completely surprised by my admission.

These days I've learned to keep my mouth shut.

The phone book is a little creepy, if only because I know of so few people that still actually use them. Young people have the Internet to find out information, and old people too, but if not, then they can usually ask us.

Also, from my perspective at least, Facebook is really a lot like a stay at home singles bar, except with a much broader selection, and your own creature comforts. It's also significantly cheaper too, when one considers the price of drinks (all drinks, alcoholic, and nonalcoholic alike) at clubs and pubs is outrageously expensive.



Confess your feelings for him to a friend and have them talk to him on your behalf?

You might try getting a hold of his Cell Phone number from someone, and send him a text message making your affections towards him very clear?



Considering the kinds of questions that have been asked of this Community, your one is actually quite tame.

lol that's what I ment. Like those directory websites to look for people's phone numbers & adresses. Well, I didn't do it. I was wondering if it would be creepy if I did it! I won't then! lol



I never thought of FB date lol I mean, just having a look. Ok maybe it's silly



I already told someone, but didn't ask to tell him.
Ask that person for his cell phone number? I dunno...maybe...why not...
Even doing that would make me so nervous...lol I feel stupid!
And then texting him.....omg..what should I say?....lol I feel stupid!

Also, the last times I tried with a guy (not him), I got a big no in my face. I never had anything else than a big no...so it's difficult for me. I'm very much fear rejection.
Now...last time I saw him I felt it was rather yes than no...but I'm not the best in figuring out that kind of stuff.



not sure, you mean there's worse than me or what?

I wouldn't consider browsing through directory websites creepy.



FB? Oh, Facebook... I've never used it for dating myself, but assume that such a thing must go on.

If you like someone, and they have a Facebook page, I see no reason why you can't browse over your topic of interest.



Perhaps that might be something you could try?



I was thinking that maybe you'd ask someone that they might know for the number.
I mean if your confident enough to ask this person for their number directly, then you might just be confident enough to profess your affections towards them.



Do you actually want examples of what you should say?
I could tell you about the kinds of texts I often get from lady admirers, though they tend to be almost pure filth.



I meant that compared to some of the more colorful questions floating around here, your question was somewhat mundane. I would even say it's the sort of normal dilemma/question I'd expect a lot of Neuraltypicals to ask about.

I'm not that crazy then! lol

dunno. What did you think of those texts? You're not in a relationship with those lady admirers, are you? I don't want to just be an admire! And I'm not going to send any filth text!
well...ok tell me!