Ways to meet a girlfriend/boyfriend other than dating sites?

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Hi,

I was wondering if there are better ways for aspies to meet a potential partner other than the standard NT methods, which I've found to be challenging.

E.g. I don't really socialise, apart from when out with family, or my uncle or cousin - hence I don't therefore really have a chance to "meet people when out socialising". Nor would I know the first thing about going up to a girl and starting a conversion. I break into a cold sweat if I think one happens to be showing an interest in me - after all, all I'm likely to do is to 'not meet their expectations' (i.e. in terms of being able to converse well).

I have been looking into online dating, to the point of writing a profile but not yet uploading a photo. Two issues with online dating bother me though:

1. What do I do if someone shows an interest but its someone whom I don't find at all physically attracted to? I don't want to be in a situation where I might hurt someone's feelings (which raises a conflict as I tend to need to be honest about most things) - I never want to hurt someone's feelings.

2. If someone did like me and I them, I'm not really sure how well I'd get on going on an actual date - not sure if I'd cope that well (perhaps I showed try just to make friends before looking into dating?). In particular I'm slightly concerned that I come across better in writing than what I can say aloud, hence may not meet peoples expectations (I fear things going embarassing badly, where no one is saying anything and others are watching).

Are there alternative ways other than this (and the work place which I feel would be too risky) to meet potential matches? Thanks

There was a recent topic related to this:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt193178.html

Hi,

Don't worry about saying you're not interested to someone who replies to your profile. Thus happens all the time. You can usually choose a nice, tactful 'reply' message to send them that basically says 'thanks but no thanks'. If you meet someone you're interested in there's no harm in emailing for a while. It;s a good way to get to know each other, especially if you're a good writer. By the time you're ready to meet in person they won't be a stranger and hopefully you'll feel more confident meeting them. You could also consider joining a club/class/group related to one of your interests. Good luck.

many places to go for dating. mall. library. therapy groups. activities outdoors. coffee shops. sometimes a restaurant. dance places. bars are to overrated. internet dating has been really the only option for meeting people. which is a complete waste. bus stop dating. like meeting someone new at a bus stop? ok good luck trying to find someone at a bus stop constant.

My suggestions are:
- ask family, friends or coworkers to set you up
- join a club or meetup for an activity you enjoy
- reconsider online dating, because if you don't like socializing and won't date colleagues it's your best bet for meeting someone.

If someone you're not attracted to shows interest, don't ask them out.

Seriously....don't do that. Cops will start watching you.

bus stop dates are not really an option. thats called stalking people all the time there.

A bus stop? Seriously? Lol.

Everyone here has earphones in all the time at bus station and on buses.

My reply was half-sarcasm, half-'in theory...'.... lol.

Yeah, it's definitely bad though in real life.

I met all 3 of my girlfriends on online forums. I met my 2nd & current on this site.