Feeling inferior to your (NT) partner

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I've been in a relationship with a marvelous guy now for over a year now. I love him to death, really. I never thought I could feel this much at home with another person, besides my family. My boyfriend is a couple of years older than me and he has a full time job. It's like... he's a normal, properly functioning, human being. Yesterday he bought me my birthday/valentine present - he booked us a two-day trip to a wellness resort, total price about 350 dollars. He knew that I wanted to do wellness for a long time, and booked all my favorite massages. I feel very blessed to be receiving this from him with that kind of price tag... at the same time it is hard for me to understand why he would want to spend that kind of money on me. I almost feel 'guilty' to him when he does these kind of things for me... it makes me think what I did to deserve that.
Lately I've been feeling quite depressed about my life. I'm feeling very, very worried about my future. I am afraid that, (partially) because of my autism, I will not always function properly in future and that I might not even be able to have a proper job that I can function in. Right now I am doing my internship which is not going very well. When I look at the future I see all kinds of hurdles. I always dreamed of being able to lead a 'normal' lifestyle, with a normal job, being able to combine a full time job with a household, managing kids eventually, etc. But because of ASD that's probably not going to happen. I know many people with autism aren't able to keep jobs and become dependent on their partners or, when they don't have a partner, on some kind of well fare program for people with autism.
I feel quite inferior to my boyfriend when I think about all this. He has no (major) psychological problems and he has a job... I know most people choose their partners with the idea that they are equal in capabilities and social value to themselves, so that they can form a stable household later on. So on the one hand it is fear and sadness that I am feeling - fear of him leaving me for a more 'normal', less troubled woman, and sadness because of the idea and the fact that I hardly have any control over it. On the other hand there's feelings of guilt. Guilt that I might not turn out to be the 'normal', strong, flexible partner that he probably thought I would be when he first met me.

Has anyone experienced these kinds of feelings in their partnership or marriage? How do you cope with them?

I will assume my boyfriend is probably neurotypical, he doesn't have any diagnoses and I haven't noticed any traits/symptoms specific to any neurology affecting conditions. He has a job and drives, whilst I am on SSI and don't even have a drivers licence. So I guess while I certainly know I am not an inferior person, I certainly can feel like that a bit, I get fleeting thoughts of not being good enough. But yeah I try not to dwell on any of that since he really does not seem to care I am on SSI and not working. I feel it can be a bit unfair when we go out that he usually pays since I cant really afford to spend much of anything on going out, so yeah it will bother me a bit I can't contribute more financially for activities but I also get the impression he'd rather spend more money for the both of us than spend less on just himself like its money well spent to him. He even told me a bit earlier in the relationship he thought I was out of his league....lol me, a college drop out on SSI. I was kind of shocked to hear that since I figured if anything he was out of my league with being employed, owning a car and staying with room mates instead of family.

Café au lait: You're going to have to break some barriers in yourself.

Yes, these are barriers. You can get over them. You have to fight. You have to bang those walls!

How does your boyfriend feel about your travails within your internship?

Cafeaulait, what an interesting turn of events. You have changed over the years. You seem older now, you seem grateful.

When you are trapped in the moment of fear. Perhaps change your focus on something that will keep you busy. Don't wait for anybody. Do something and stick to your own plans.