i've found that dating sites don't work for me, but...

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i'm still hooked! (sry, the limit on the topic title characters cut me off) let me tell you how i feel right now in my dating situation.
actually i don't want to get too much into my personal breakup becuase flying off the subject is not where I want to go. I want to talk about dating websites.

BIG DISCLAIMER: i am not dissing Aspie Affection and telling everyone not to use it, that it sucks, that everyone on it sucks and why the hell did this thing become useful and such and such a thing. as long as it works for anyone else at all, that's other people's business.

it's just the matter that i wonder if online dating is even for me at all. here's the other thing that bothers me although this belongs in another forum area. it just "affects" how i put myself out to other guys, NT or not, on online dating: the idea based on the new rule from the anonymous popular guy in autistic revolution who said us aspies are approximately ONE-THIRD of our actual age in maturity. It kind of hurts to be rubbed-in that I'm so awkward and that's why and I need to stop complaining. oh yeah i remember who said it--Stephen Shore--so don't think i totally lost it here--but anway. I thought about that when I looked on my lengthy, awkward looking profile that I seem to be constantly updating and updating on okcupid, this popular--at least for a lot of young NTs--website that you all may or may not have heard of. it seems that i must either be living in an area that doesn't seem to have as many guys--gosh darn NTs for that matter!!--or it's simply the NT factor that the nerotypical guys who take up all the space on that site dislike immature, trying-to-be-cute girls who are dull and appear to not have a life. is that who i am if I don't sound amusing when I write stuff, like write crazy things to attract attention that are so off the wall the guy wants to talk right away?

perhaps I should put the website dating behind me and really really REALLY learn to be single, considering i did just breakup with my bf as of now, but it is SOOO hard for me, and i'm sure that feeling has been felt by many others. how do i keep myself off the sites. should I keep my account and not use it on purpose for a super long time or just delete my account and learn to enjoy singledom?

just puttin' the general idea of online dating out there. all i want to know is in general, based on what i said, is, not including aspie affection, what is up with the online dating sites that are free and frequently used by NTs more often than us, just a joke regardless. i definitely more than anything will accept neutral thoughts, as well as answerers.

--chels

I found online dating hasn't worked for me as well and just deleted my account. I was hooked on it, but I realized I was just wasting my time. I don't know if what I said helps any.

lolololol I sure hope the dating site wasn't match or eharmony xD

If your on OK cupid, you can disable your account and come back to it when your want. I'm kinda looking at it as a joke because most of the matches I find live so far away and don't want pen pals. The closest match who appears to have aspie traits didn't respond.

Stop listening and worrying what society expects of you and do what is right for you. If you want to go on a dating site and meet new guys. Then do it! Listen to your own needs and expectations. Write them down, then try to stick to them. If someone doesn't match your needs and expectations, then walk away. The amicable thing to do of course is to communicate this to the other person. Sure there are some compromises that can be met. No relationship is easy. NTs pretend like they have a handle on relationships. But in reality they suck at it too.

I believe growth in any relationships are through the struggles themselves. How else will we learn if we are not allowed to struggle. In my case, is I keep trying, trying to make it work, when I should have given up a long time ago. Some people really just give up way too fast. I think there needs to be a middle ground. Both wants to learn and meet each other half way.

It is kind of funny, when I was close to giving up on okcupid...that is about when I met my boyfriend there. Had one too many cases of being led on and/or relationships simply not going anywhere that I was about to totally give up and delete my profile. But there was a message that caught my eye from the guy who is now my boyfriend, and yeah he seemed like someone I'd like to at least meet, but I was still upset/angry so instead of deleting my profile I just logged out for a time, even forgot about the message that deterred me deleting it. Then like a month later I thought about it for some reason and logged back on and then sent the guy a message, I think I started with something like 'I know you sent this a while ago, but if you're still interested I'd like to meet up. '

Lol, I figured the guy would have forgot about his messege to me and such and already would have found a 'better' girl than someone like me, but he was actually really glad to hear from me even after that month...he had gone on a few dates between messaging me and hearing back which he didn't seem too thrilled about how those went.

I guess if I were you I'd leave the profile up and maybe just take a break for a while because even with all the being led on and hurt feelings that came with that I did manage to meet my boyfriend and now we've been in a relationship over a year...getting closer to two years now. Not saying you'd for sure meet someone there but might as well keep that avenue of possibility open.

Six years out of date. Oh well.

Dating sites didn't work for me either but I'm disabled & didn't have anything going for me in life which I'm sure turned most women off. I only got one or two messages from women before never hearing from them again. I met both my exes & current girlfriend on forums thou. The ladder two were Aspies who I met on this forum. I kept trying dating sites till I met them thou cuz all it takes is the rite person to send you a message but I understand needing/wanting a break from them too.

Legends say that the OP is still hooked to the dating sites....

Meh, I never had an addiction to them in the first place, once I understood how easy it is for anyone to go on one and make a fake profie with a few stolen photos.

I believe if some of us REALLY want to meet someone who'll have the hots for us, we'll figure out a way to muster the resources to start a meetup group any time we decide to put our minds to it. Those who aren't really interested in meeting someone, will simply not RSVP.