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Break up advice needed badly ! !! !

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Willi139
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20 Jan 2016, 10:28 am

Im going through a break up with my 45 year old menopausal girlfriend ... She is has Asperger's and like i said shes also going through menopaus .. aggies personality is very bright and charming very social .. I refer her to my buddah because she sees the beauty in everything . Very passionate about music . Anyway things that were very very hatd for me was latness by hours snd no phone calls that she wiukd be late and never comming to bed .. Even when she said "ill be right up" she would never show .. Unfortunaly this led to me very dominearing and mean at times .. I pussed her away and she met a very yiung 45 music prodigy and sorta cheated "kissing" i blane myself for this .. I admitted my mistakes to her told her she can have time etc etc and shes thinking.. Mu wuestion is the rules for someone with Asperger's while tring to get them back gotta be different ... Im not sure how to proceed.. Last time a saw her i spilled my heart and sobbed @ nit a good idea for most women@ byt it made her admit there is a chance ... Advice please ! !! !



Willi139
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20 Jan 2016, 10:29 am

Was meant to say 25 year old music prodigy



Iamaparakeet
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20 Jan 2016, 7:04 pm

Make sure she knows you're breaking up with her and be open to staying with her if she doesn't want you to leave. Don't just be there one moment and fall off the face of the earth the next, you will have no idea how much that hurts until it's done to you. Just talk with her,don't be a coward. Be brave.


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wilburforce
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20 Jan 2016, 7:54 pm

Willi139 wrote:
Im going through a break up with my 45 year old menopausal girlfriend ... She is has Asperger's and like i said shes also going through menopaus .. aggies personality is very bright and charming very social .. I refer her to my buddah because she sees the beauty in everything . Very passionate about music . Anyway things that were very very hatd for me was latness by hours snd no phone calls that she wiukd be late and never comming to bed .. Even when she said "ill be right up" she would never show .. Unfortunaly this led to me very dominearing and mean at times .. I pussed her away and she met a very yiung 45 music prodigy and sorta cheated "kissing" i blane myself for this .. I admitted my mistakes to her told her she can have time etc etc and shes thinking.. Mu wuestion is the rules for someone with Asperger's while tring to get them back gotta be different ... Im not sure how to proceed.. Last time a saw her i spilled my heart and sobbed @ nit a good idea for most women@ byt it made her admit there is a chance ... Advice please ! ! ! !


This is really hard to read and understand. Are you posting from a phone? If so, can you try to be a little more careful with spelling and punctuation, because I can barely make out what you're asking.



Marcia
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23 Jan 2016, 7:02 am

Good for her! You say yourself you were "very domineering and mean at times" and that you "pushed her away". But you expected her to stay, and be treated badly by you.

Then she met someone else, and now you want her back!

I've met men like you before - who think they can treat women like s**t, and then end up in tears when it turns out that she is capable of having a life without them.

I'd say the best way for you to proceed is to let this woman get on with her own life without you, then spend a bit of time reflecting on your attitudes to women and relationships before attempting another relationship.



Peacesells
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23 Jan 2016, 7:28 am

Marcia wrote:
Good for her! You say yourself you were "very domineering and mean at times" and that you "pushed her away". But you expected her to stay, and be treated badly by you.

Then she met someone else, and now you want her back!

I've met men like you before - who think they can treat women like s**t, and then end up in tears when it turns out that she is capable of having a life without them.

I'd say the best way for you to proceed is to let this woman get on with her own life without you, then spend a bit of time reflecting on your attitudes to women and relationships before attempting another relationship.

Maybe it's good for the both of them. I mean, it's very annoying to be with someone who stands you up all the time too.
And if she did maybe she wasn't interested in him so much.



Marcia
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23 Jan 2016, 9:25 am

Peacesells wrote:
Marcia wrote:
Good for her! You say yourself you were "very domineering and mean at times" and that you "pushed her away". But you expected her to stay, and be treated badly by you.

Then she met someone else, and now you want her back!

I've met men like you before - who think they can treat women like s**t, and then end up in tears when it turns out that she is capable of having a life without them.

I'd say the best way for you to proceed is to let this woman get on with her own life without you, then spend a bit of time reflecting on your attitudes to women and relationships before attempting another relationship.

Maybe it's good for the both of them. I mean, it's very annoying to be with someone who stands you up all the time too.
And if she did maybe she wasn't interested in him so much.


Yes, I agree. It sounds like they are fundamentally incompatible, and that it would be better for both of them to go their separate ways.