What am I getting myself into? Could use advice.

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To set the scene, I am a 50+ year old aspie. I've become highly functioning, but I have always issues with social interaction. There is a woman (of course there's a woman. I wouldn't be on this part of the forum if there weren't a woman) whom I dated once about 10 years ago. It was stressful and the evening ended with a handshake and that was that. I carried a torch for her, but a few months after that she announced that she was engaged to a mutual acquaintance, and that was most definitely that.

I would see both of them now and then, as we all share mutual nerdy interests and know many of the same people. I quit visiting her when she became engaged, because I did not want to fell jealous. I got along well with her kids by a previous marriage, especially her son, who is diagnosed autistic, but I saw her kids almost never.

Last month her husband died suddenly. He had an undiagnosed heart condition. After the funeral I offered to help a bit with her son, and so we (her son and I) now spend a few hours a week hanging out at book stores, while she is trying to wrap up insurance and bank issues relating to her late husband's business.

I am still attracted to her, but don't know when it would be a good time to let her know. Any suggestions.

Don't tell her. Show her.

Continue to treat her kids well. She will see that. Be consistent with your kindness; but don't fall all over yourself being kind. Let any idea of her spending time alone with you come from her. She needs to grieve, without the stress of dealing with a suitor. Give her time. Give her space. Let her come to you.

That's about all that I can advise.

Good luck.

Yeah, just be a good friend for now. Only time will tell if you have a chance with her or not. Also, if you genuinely care for her, learn to accept things might not ever become more than they are right now.

This is very hard, I understand, in fact I'm going through something similar - this girl that used to go to my school, we both were attracted to each other, but she was kicked out of home and had to leave town out of nowhere before I could ask her out. I confessed my feelings online and she did the same and for a good while we were talking. She came back to town for a visit but didn't end up seeing me like she said she was going to. And at last, she finally has a new boyfriend, another male she was good friends with.

So I know that feeling of having to possibly hold out but accept it just might not happen.