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Can a man lose interested in you in 7 days? This maybe a silly question, but I'm worried. I never had a crush like me, be interested in me & show me his interested in me, I'm just worried, cuz this is New to me. I don't know what he sees in me. There are other women that are very beautiful or gorgeous & blonde. I don't think I'm special.

They can lose interest in you in 7 minutes and vice versa. I wouldn't worry about it and just give him some space. Maybe he's just trying to be a rubber band (Men are From Mars - very true ). And blondes aren't always more fun, btw.

Oh, one more thing. If you don't think you're special then you won't be. You have to think it to be it.

Very encouraging, NurseAngela. I'm sure that boost of confidence was just what the OP needed to hear.

Kitty, just be patient. If it's meant to be, he'll continue to return your interest. If it's not, someone else--probably someone better personality-wise--will come along. Keep smiling and dreaming and being as sweet as you know how to be.

The first sentence was all about truth which I thought Aspies want. Then I said to give him some space and not to worry about it and that blondes aren't always more fun and for her to think that she's special because right now she doesn't. What in the heck was wrong with that?

The stuff you said everyone always says - if it's not meant to be then someone else will come along. How does that help?

Except for the "Men are from Mars" bit, I agree with NurseAngela. People can lose interest in 7 seconds or less; and if someone believes that he or she is "nothing special", then it is likely that other people will too.

I've had women lose interest in me after a few minutes!

But don't worry, Kitty. Any guy who gets to know you won't ever get sick of you.

We agree on something? Holy cow.

It happens.

The comments you made are similar to ones that I have been making in similar threads on this website for the past 8 years.

Rubber bands from men are from mars, is that guy's time, give him space?

Everybody needs "space" some time. Even married people need "space" sometimes.

From the book it means that guys will pull away from you from time to time and you have to let them come back on their own.

And I've heard guys on here say they like being in a relationship but they feel smothered and they need some time to do things they want to do on their own so they won't lose touch with who they are. Does that make sense?

Do you mean having a separate life from the one you love?

I think I was being worried for nothing when I said that he would lose interested in me in 7 days, but he stayed interested in me for 4 months, I think he knew I was shy & was trying to get me comfortable around him & talk to him. I am getting comfortable talking to him, I made a big step last Wednesday & I went up to the counter & talk to him, I was proud of myself. The coffee house where he works, they are remodeling it for 7 days that why I got worried, the coffee house is going be open tomorrow.

I am most certainly not from Mars.

Anyway.

Speaking personally, no. If I have an interest in a woman, I hold that interest through my life, though it certainly weakens/eases without contact (I'm talking years here).

I have sat on a bus or train and been entranced by a woman for the duration of the journey, but with no interaction such things fade pretty fast.

In my experience, attraction comes before any reasons to be attracted. I simply am attracted to someone. Were I to try and fathom why I am, I'd never really get there. I could list everything about them that appealed, be it character or behaviour or appearance - and yet there would still just be that je ne sais quoi about them.

I don't need people to think they're special for me to think so - depending on how it's presented, I can find it offputting. I do find relentless self-negativity in others tiring, but I don't get any hint of that from you.

I'd never claim this to be the experience of all men, but nor do I let other men (or, on the receiving end, women) declare their experience is.

The man you speak about does sound interested in you. I would expect that he will keep so. Keep doing what you do, and show an interest.

Makes plenty of sense. Who says a committed relationship means you lose your own identity? People retain their interests even if in a relationship. If a relationship meant you had to check all of your personal interests at the door, and for some it does, that relationship will end in disappointment for one or both parties. Trying to stifle one's individuality will lead to bitterness and resentment. There is a balance, of course, one that takes some work over time to get just right.

I do think when many men say "dont want to be smothered" it's usually when things in a newer relationship are moving too fast and they aren't articulating it that way.

Why would I stop my spouse from engaging in enjoying things separate from me? Particularly if do not enjoy those things. For example. I hate the beach. Despise it. Hate the sun, hate going in the water, hate the heat and hate the sand. My wife on the other hand, loves the beach. Should she not go? Should I be forced to do what I hate? Or is the most logical, mutually beneficial solution for her to go with someone else, and I do my own thing that afternoon? Maybe I'd catch up on my baseball-nerd stuff that afternoon or play some Playstation for a few hours alone.

When you are with someone for about 12 years, you'll go nuts if these sorts of compromises aren't had.

To the OP, yes men can be just as fickle as women. Or maybe your just over-analyzing small, insignificant cues?

People have separate lives from their "loved ones". There's home life, work life, church life, and even on-line life. Just because you love someone, that does not make their lives exclusively intertwined with yours in all contexts - unless you are physically "glued" to that person 24/7.