Sad i don't have a sweetheart

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For over a month i was in a good mood that i had a sweetheart, but over a week ago came devastating i found out I've been chatting with a swindler for one month. She was just after my money. I was mad and disappointing when I found out that. It felt so real the way she talked. She seemed so sweet and kind. She said we was sweethearts and gonna meet soon. She sweet talked me a lot and gave me many nice compliments. I was in heaven and was so happy.

Now, i have started feeling more unhappy and sad. I keep thinking will i ever get a sweetheart. I'm 27 years old and never been in a relationship before. I am a member on at least 7 dating sites, but no luck so far. I hope this sadness will vanish soon. It's not good feeling sad. I hope I'll find a sweetheart this year. Then i will be very happy and in heaven.

It seems like you're relying way too much on a girlfriend to make you happy. Placing the reins of your emotions in someone else's hands rarely ends well for either party.

It also seems like you're exclusively relying on dating websites to find someone. Why haven't you been out and about trying to meet people in the real world?

On dating websites, people aren't always who they claim. Not only that, but there's more active competition than in the real world.

Some things I think are important to consider when looking for a relationship are what you want in a prospective partner, and what you have to offer a partner. If you find that you want more out of a partner than you can offer (physically or emotionally/mentally), and you don't have any compensatory qualities substantial enough that a partner may overlook where you fall short in relation to them, then you're probably going to really struggle with dating until you either expect less from a partner or have the capacity to offer more.

So what can you offer a partner? And what do you want in return?

Yeah if you're happy with your gf/wife then leave them. One should never drive happiness from another human being . Instead one should fine happiness in objects. So says every married or in a relationship person ever.

So wish these people would heed their own advice and leave their gf/wife.

I've never meet anyone in a relationship who didn't get happiness from their so and didn't feel sad when they left. Seems completely normal for humans to rely on other humans for happiness. So normal most people do it, and people have been doing it since the dawn of civilaztion.

To op. Sorry that happen to you. People will do that. I had it done but not for money but for enjoyment. It's called cat fishing.

There's a difference between that and being absoluteyy desperate and relying entirely on love to be happy. I saw some user say once it's the only thing keeping him alive.

However, I still completely agree with you.

I have a saying - it's lonely at the top.

If you spend your life not focusing at all on finding a relationship but other things, you can end up alone.

And it doesn't matter how much skills or other things you earned - you're still lonely.

You could spend your whole life learning and working hard and one day become a millionaire, but money won't buy you love or happiness. It will buy you people who pretend to be your friends to get money off of you, but that's it.

I think you and I sly would both rather be poor but with wonderful family and friends and someone to love than rich, intelligent scientists/doctors/whatever that have nobody in our lives...

I don't think that's the case with most people on here though. I think people in relations label any desire to have a gf as us being desperate and solely relying on a gf to make us happy. Which is just wrong. Just another case of the haves judging the have nots for wanting what they have.

Indeed,mugs that's part of the problem . I lack ambition or rather I choose not to feed it. I see ambition and competitiveness as bad things. I choose not to feed those sides of me.i don't like what they bring out in me or other people I've seen.

Which means I don't have a drive to constantly seek promotions or better jobs. It's that drive that makes people spend most their life seeking the next thing. Probably a big part why there's so many single people in the 30-50 years. There's a lot of single successful women, especially in New York City, in that age group. They chose finical success over relationships and are now upset about being alone.

Things over love. The idea being they'd have it all, reality being one can't not have it all. Life is about compromises. I'm quite shocked to find out Jewish family's in my pay thousands of dollars sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year for s match maker to find their daughter a Jewish man, and some are told they can't. Morgan's and other dox Jews are suffering s big male shortage apparently.

I value people and interactions over things. I like things,but I'm very practical in most cases(shaving being the exception). Of course Bing single has meant I've gathered a lot of things. I have everything I desire or need, not sure what to ask for gifts for birthday. I'd give up said things if it meant having a gf, I don't need 4 handguns. However that's not how the world works. I could have both, though I won't be able to buy things any,ore if have a gf.

In a twist of life, it's the doctors and scientists who don't primary care or desire love that usually due to their status get relationships. Life is full of such twists.

...

This.

There's a pretty big difference between receiving happiness from relationships and being reliant on relationships for happiness.

I enjoy drinking coffee. I have a coffee sometimes when there's a suitable opportunity to do so. If I am unable to have a coffee in the morning, I might be a little unhappy, but I'll continue on with my life.

Some people have coffee every morning, to the point that they cannot function without their morning coffee.

I enjoy my coffee without relying on it, whilst other people literally are unable to live without it.

Tell me, who's in a healthier state?

He's literally equating his happiness with whether he's in a relationship or not. That's neither a healthy nor sustainable way to be.

And for the record sly, i haven't had a relationship either.

So you should never attach your happiness to a partner. Therefore, you should never actively look for a partner, as you'll have no reason to. For many of us, behaving this way will be about as sure as anything can be to doom us to stay alone for life. But it's okay, because we're happy without a partner, right? It's anybody's guess why other people ever form relationships---if neither partner had ever taken the initiative, they'd have happily stayed single.

On the other hand, I don't want to be happy. Being happy means not wishing anything, and this, in turn, means there's no convincing excuse to live.

I'm going to say this one last time. There's a difference between being happy in a relationship and relying on a relationship to be happy. If you can't find a way to be happy with yourself, you will probably never get into a relationship.

If girls can be with guys who are happy as they are, why would they ever want to be with someone who isn't?

Lol, unlike sly though, I am very ambitious and optimistic. I do have big dreams and goals in life I'd like to work hard to fulfill, most of them having almost nothing to do with a relationship.

But love, not just romantic love, but the love of family, friends, along with romantic love, are also key parts of my life I'd want to be successful in.

I can be...satisfied with being alone if it means I find success in my life in most/all other ways, but I'd rather be happy than satisfied...

Thanks for the replys. I sadly don't have the courage to approach someone. I would be too scared and nervous. I have Aspergers which is to blame for that. It's just recently i started being more social. What i want in partner is love and happiness. I also want give love and happiness to someone. To be with someone. Have a friend i talk to about anything. I don't want to be alone anymore. I need some company. I don't have any friends. I haven't had a friend since about 2003.

1. That's not the same thing. People aren't meant to function alone and cut off from all human ties. Humans who have go crazy. It's not mentally healthy.

2. So you'd be fine giving up all the things you do and like. Living in a white empty room? Why you may be fine with coffee, o guarantee there's things you'd be miserable without. Everyone does.

Shaving every day makes me happy, some days like few coming up I can't shave, but I know I'll shave again. It's not a permanent loss. Me and others like me have never had a relationship and never will. It's not mentally healthy especially for people person like me. If your not w people person great good for you. You can live a happy life with less interactions with people. Others like me can't

What I'm saying is people on here claim anyone wanting a relation and sad they don't have one MUST be in the latter. Most often by people who are in relationships and have that happiness. That's like a billionaire telling poor homeless people they should be happy without any money and living in the streets. People in relationships don't know jack about us and they don't know jack about being single anymore. Their situation blinds them. If their gf/bf left them they'd be crushed, which by your example would mean they were reliant on the,. For in order not to be they'd have to be just as happy 1 minute after their gf left them or died as they were 1 minute before. Relationships are exactly being reliant on another person. That's the freaking point of relationships, or everyone would stay single and go life alone. So don't tell me how to be happy. It's like telling gay people to be straight or blacks to be white. There isn't only one way to be happy. There are billions and none of them are wrong.

That isn't true though. And the difference you talk about isn't universally defined. What you might see as relying on a relationship being bad, billions might see as normal. Your view on love and relationships and happiness isn't the only one and many people think it's wrong just as you think theirs is wrong. You haven't even defined the difference. Again I've never meet anyone who'd be happy if their spouse left them, which by your idea means everyone is replying on their relationship for happiness.


Many many many girls aren't happy single either, so I guess we'll be with them and al, you happy alone people can just stay single forever. I have I have no desire and I will get all the happiness I want from a relationship as most people do.