07 Mar 2016, 1:01 pm
Can you answer any of my anxiety induced questions?
Here is the issue:
I asked what he wanted and he couldn't tell me like always! I received 0 opinions as always. " I don't care baby," he says. But when we reach a restaurant he tells me to just eat without him because he doesn't feel right about the place which is lonely, frustrating and sometimes even embarrassing.
1. If this is the case, why continue to dump the responsibility on me when he can offer an opinion and get what he wants?
2. Is it wrong to be frustrated that he just won't have an opinion? I have to ask because I cannot always tell if I am being unreasonable or inconsiderate.
- I too struggle making decisions for myself. It is too much to have to make all of his too, which is becoming the case since we got engaged and his brother moved out.
- On top of being different I am a war veteran and thus making constant changes just to find a burger is frustrating and inefficient to me.
3. Have you dealt with this kind of passive behavior before - with a spouse or maybe you were the culprit?
If so, what helped?
4. Finally, I feel like my fiance is literally attaching to me, like that male fish who is absorbed into his mate. Is this common?
- I'm autistic and this is my first time dating another autistic person. What can I do to encourage his growth rather become his eternal scapegoat? I don't want to be his mom or dad. I want to be his husband.
- it's like the happier he is with me, the less he wants to do. I fear eventually in 10 years I'll be a surrogate for His life in general, something I can't handle because whereas I love him, I struggle enough managing myself.
-using my own thoughts and ideas did not save my last relationship so please help if you have some wisdom to share.
Thanks! 
