Relationship Dependency Scale (Poll)

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Relationship Dependency Scale
≤ 2 hours per week 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
≤ 4 hours per week 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
≤ 6 hours per week 6%  6%  [ 1 ]
≤ 12 hours per week 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
≤ 24 hours per week 29%  29%  [ 5 ]
≤ 48 hours per week 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
≤ 72 hours per week 18%  18%  [ 3 ]
≤ 93 hours per week 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
≤ 120 hours per week 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
≤ 144 hours per week 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
≤ 168 hours per week 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 17

0_equals_true
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03 Mar 2016, 6:41 pm

Assuming you were able to enter into a monogamous relationship, which you assume will have long term potential, which of the following levels of dependency would be the minimum you would be fully satisfied and fulfilled by.

This is an averaged figure over years. So if you have different frequency that you envisage seeing each other average it into per week scale presented.

I stress this is on a continuous basis, so it is not a stop gap.

This relationship would be with your ideal partner, they feel the same way and you trust each other.

I appreciate it is difficult question, but think about it.

"≤" means less than or equals to



Last edited by 0_equals_true on 03 Mar 2016, 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

beakybird
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03 Mar 2016, 6:44 pm

Do you mean total time together, or time actually spent doing the same thing?

I mean since you have the max hours in a week as an option, I assume you mean sleeping hours too?

What if me and my wife are in different rooms watching or playing different things? I mean we live together, but not sure if those hours would count as "dependency"



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03 Mar 2016, 6:58 pm

This poll doesn't mandate what you do with the hours. How you spend the hours is up to you.

You are making a practical average based on your own (theoretical) scenario.

Time means in the same space, together.



beakybird
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03 Mar 2016, 7:01 pm

I actually intended on voting 24 hours but clicked the wrong one I guess.

About 3.5 hours a day seems right.

It's hard for me to separate because I also work with my wife, and we live in a 1br apt, so we spend ALOT of time together and have to manufacture separate time more than most couples have to.



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03 Mar 2016, 7:03 pm

I have enabled re-voting, so you can change it.



0_equals_true
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03 Mar 2016, 7:07 pm

To all: Please vote honestly without looking at the results. Re-voting it there for mistakes.



yellowtamarin
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03 Mar 2016, 8:24 pm

That is very difficult when sleeping hours are included (because the number of hours changes a lot just by adding or subtracting one sleepover), but I did my best.



QuillAlba
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03 Mar 2016, 8:28 pm

Yeah, the sleeping hours are a massive variable. I went with 72, but I'd rather 24 hours a week spent together while awake.



0_equals_true
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04 Mar 2016, 12:51 pm

Point taken.

Lets exclude sleeping hours.



MsV
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04 Mar 2016, 4:46 pm

Thanks for referring me to this post! Made me realize that even setting a minimum hours per week creates anxiety. Might have to schedule a therapy session :lol:
I dont even see my closest friends or family every week... 8O



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04 Mar 2016, 4:52 pm

MsV wrote:
Thanks for referring me to this post! Made me realize that even setting a minimum hours per week creates anxiety. Might have to schedule a therapy session :lol:
I dont even see my closest friends or family every week... 8O


I see two good friends about once a month. Although I haven't seen one of them since she had her baby an moved away.

I can relate to social anxiety. I actually met them off a social anxiety forum.

That isn't as bad as it was, however I'm naturally asocial Well I don't need as much and more starts to become detrimental.



androbot01
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04 Mar 2016, 4:53 pm

I'm not sure I see the relationship between dependence and hours spent together. Isn't it more of a psychological thing?



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04 Mar 2016, 5:01 pm

androbot01 wrote:
I'm not sure I see the relationship between dependence and hours spent together. Isn't it more of a psychological thing?


I take your point, but I'm not using a psychology term.

I'm going to do a part II anyway, this is just for starters.



MsV
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04 Mar 2016, 5:06 pm

So it is 'ok' to have a low tolerance for socializing? You have no idea how happy that makes me (no sarcasm). I was starting to feel even more out if place until I read this.

Time to myself doesn't make me any less happy. Actually it is quite essential for my well-being! I don't think it's an anxiety thing either (romantic anxiety: yes - social anxiety: no), just a question of energy levels.



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04 Mar 2016, 5:07 pm

MsV wrote:
So it is 'ok' to have a low tolerance for socializing? You have no idea how happy that makes me (no sarcasm). I was starting to feel even more out if place until I read this.

Time to myself doesn't make me any less happy. Actually it is quite essential for my well-being! I don't think it's an anxiety thing either (romantic anxiety: yes - social anxiety: no), just a question of energy levels.


Yes that is why I'm self employed.



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04 Mar 2016, 5:18 pm

As for me, I can't put a number on it, really.

I'm not a person who needs to see my lover constantly. I don't like to place an arbitrary time constraint, or obligatory time, upon my lover.

Perhaps she could be really busy with something, or needs some alone time, so I might not see my lover for the whole week.

However, if something tragic happen to her, or she needed my company, I might go the whole nine yards, and see her for the entire week, including sleeping with her.

Vice versa for her. Maybe I might need some alone time, or I'll need her constant presence. I don't see the latter happening, actually. I like to be alone when I'm having problems.

In light of the above, it's difficult for me to figure out an average. I put 24 hours a week, or about 4-5 hours a day.