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People as special interest?

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raspberrypink
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25 Mar 2016, 12:07 am

Do any of you have people as your special interests? I.e. you will be fixated on a particular person and obsess over that rather than a TV series of trains or whatever. I get obsessions with men that seem to be different to the ones neurotypical girls have. 8O Very embarrassing and intense, and I'm 20 now.



Aristophanes
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25 Mar 2016, 12:28 am

At your age it may not be a "special interest" merely an obsessive crush. That's not to invalidate what you feel, it's just that at your age it may be difficult to distinguish between the two. Just because the other women your age don't express the feeling you'rr talking about doesn't mean that they don't necessarily feel them, just that they don't talk about them.



raspberrypink
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25 Mar 2016, 1:06 am

Aristophanes wrote:
At your age it may not be a "special interest" merely an obsessive crush. That's not to invalidate what you feel, it's just that at your age it may be difficult to distinguish between the two. Just because the other women your age don't express the feeling you'rr talking about doesn't mean that they don't necessarily feel them, just that they don't talk about them.


At what point do you think it would cease to be classed as a crush? 8O



rdos
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25 Mar 2016, 3:53 am

raspberrypink wrote:
Do any of you have people as your special interests? I.e. you will be fixated on a particular person and obsess over that rather than a TV series of trains or whatever. I get obsessions with men that seem to be different to the ones neurotypical girls have. 8O Very embarrassing and intense, and I'm 20 now.


Yes, this is rather common in ASD / neurodiversity.

Aristophanes wrote:
At your age it may not be a "special interest" merely an obsessive crush.


These things do not change with age. People at my age can still get obsessed with people / a crush.



raspberrypink
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25 Mar 2016, 10:25 am

rdos wrote:
raspberrypink wrote:
Do any of you have people as your special interests? I.e. you will be fixated on a particular person and obsess over that rather than a TV series of trains or whatever. I get obsessions with men that seem to be different to the ones neurotypical girls have. 8O Very embarrassing and intense, and I'm 20 now.


Yes, this is rather common in ASD / neurodiversity.

Aristophanes wrote:
At your age it may not be a "special interest" merely an obsessive crush.


These things do not change with age. People at my age can still get obsessed with people / a crush.


From what I hear crushes are more of a teen thing than an adult thing, so I get where Aristophanes is coming from since I'm only 20. But from stuff I've read elsewhere I feel like even in teens an obsessive crush could be a special interest. Was just curious if anyone here has experienced it.



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25 Mar 2016, 11:56 am

I'm not saying it is a crush, I'm just saying at your age it's hard to determine since hormones are still in full swing. TBH I wouldn't worry much about it unless it's becoming so obsessive that's it's interfering with your everyday life.



AR15000
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25 Mar 2016, 12:02 pm

raspberrypink wrote:
Do any of you have people as your special interests? I.e. you will be fixated on a particular person and obsess over that rather than a TV series of trains or whatever. I get obsessions with men that seem to be different to the ones neurotypical girls have. 8O Very embarrassing and intense, and I'm 20 now.



I tend to be interested in people as a group. That is one of my *special interests*. Why they do and say the things they do and say and what makes them tick.



raspberrypink
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25 Mar 2016, 1:48 pm

AR15000 wrote:
raspberrypink wrote:
Do any of you have people as your special interests? I.e. you will be fixated on a particular person and obsess over that rather than a TV series of trains or whatever. I get obsessions with men that seem to be different to the ones neurotypical girls have. 8O Very embarrassing and intense, and I'm 20 now.



I tend to be interested in people as a group. That is one of my *special interests*. Why they do and say the things they do and say and what makes them tick.


That interests me too. I hope to study Sociology at uni. :)



rdos
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25 Mar 2016, 7:07 pm

raspberrypink wrote:
From what I hear crushes are more of a teen thing than an adult thing,


That sounds illogical, and it obviously is not true when people all ages can and do get crushes.

raspberrypink wrote:
so I get where Aristophanes is coming from since I'm only 20. But from stuff I've read elsewhere I feel like even in teens an obsessive crush could be a special interest. Was just curious if anyone here has experienced it.


I think an obsessive crush is a special interest, or rather the reason Aspies have special interests is because of their relationship preferences. Also, in my experience, there is nothing more rewarding than an obsessive crush, as it typically will have take precedence over special interests so you lose interest in them.



Kitty4670
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25 Mar 2016, 7:40 pm

What is special interest?



nick007
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25 Mar 2016, 7:43 pm

Both my ex girlfriend's were my special interests & the iCarly star, Miranda Cosgrove cuz I had/have a mega huge crush on her. I quit having special interests after I started taking Neurontin/Gabapentin for my OCD. The closest things to a special interest I have rite now are my current girlfriend & Miranda but I wouldn't call either a special interest considering how obsessed I used to be.


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25 Mar 2016, 7:52 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
What is special interest?

It's a trait many autistics have where they become almost obsessive over something to the point they can't stop thinking, researching, or doing it. For some people it's a science or art, others it's a collection of objects, etc. It's just a really really strong passion.



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25 Mar 2016, 8:40 pm

I think it's possible that my girlfriend has that obsession over me. My advice is that it's ok to obsess but make sure you don't make the person you're obsessing over feel uncomfortable. Respect his boundaries, and he may return your feelings to some extent. He may wish to hang out with his friends once in a while, or have some alone time, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you're obsessing over a man who you aren't dating, it's ok to approach him to ask him out. I think in 2016 equal opportunity is a valid thing. Just don't come on too strong. If your obsession is over men plural, that's a whole different thing, and the Internet might have what you're looking for. Just be sure to avoid certain corners of the Internet if you catch my drift.



raspberrypink
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25 Mar 2016, 10:12 pm

Tross wrote:
I think it's possible that my girlfriend has that obsession over me. My advice is that it's ok to obsess but make sure you don't make the person you're obsessing over feel uncomfortable. Respect his boundaries, and he may return your feelings to some extent. He may wish to hang out with his friends once in a while, or have some alone time, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you're obsessing over a man who you aren't dating, it's ok to approach him to ask him out. I think in 2016 equal opportunity is a valid thing. Just don't come on too strong. If your obsession is over men plural, that's a whole different thing, and the Internet might have what you're looking for. Just be sure to avoid certain corners of the Internet if you catch my drift.


The guy is ignoring me. :( But I'm not obsessed with him like I used to be anymore.



MjrMajorMajor
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25 Mar 2016, 10:35 pm

I have had obsessive crushes, people as interests, and general interactions between people as interests. I'm less bookish so I don't study as much as observe. I actually have learned a lot over time, but there is always more...



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26 Mar 2016, 1:23 am

So it is ok to have an obsession crush? I think the guy that I have a crush on was my special interest, cuz of what happened last year. I'm now trying to get over him.