Low self esteem and lust?

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I'm a 20 year old guy and never been in a real relationship and I'm pretty sure my mild aspergers could be the reason why, with issues with social development. At school growing up in my teens I found making friends difficult and was socially deprived pretty much. I lacked the social skills to engage with people of the same sex, let alone the opposite.

Now though I actually feel better socially (but still needs work) and feel like now might be a good time to be in a relationship. But I have two problems, its about my low self esteem and obsessions over lust.
Throughout my teen years to this day all I did was just lusting over girls whether that's at school, the media or in movies, the street, anywhere. And this has become a unhealthy obsession I just don't know how to get out of, probably linked to my OCD.
I know anyone can lust but its affecting me getting to know women on a personal level. I'm really obsessed with it the way you can admire any woman you choose and your imagination, and all this leads to is frustration. I'm worried this will affect my chance to enter a relationship, or worse hurt somebody.

Secondly is my low self esteem and entering the world of dating. I've thought of doing online dating and there are people I like the sound of there, but I don't have the confidence to approach them. I keep thinking the fact I don't drive will limit date opportunities and will get rejected because of it as its pretty standard in this society for a man to drive.
I also still experience anxiety in social situations as they don't come as naturally to me and I'm self conscious they would judge me as I barely have any friends, and spend most of my time alone making music, my passion. I don't even have a job.
And last of course is the ability to take things further than the first date. I feel I would get so overwhelmed knowing what certain cues mean, right ways to do things and processing information it would increase my anxiety. Yet I really want to spend time with someone to care about as I've never had any real affection in my life. I just don't want to hurt anyone.

I would like to ask for advice about ways to conquer lust getting the better of me, as well as feeling better about the self esteem issues above as I've never said to anyone before. Especially about the driving and self consciousness about my social life, work.

Thanks

Feeling lust is an essential part of being human, in my opinion. Don't feel guilty for feeling lust--it's natural.

Alas, in this society, it's usually the man that has to make the "first move."

If you feel you like somebody, just send a nice note or something, saying your name--stuff like that.

I've never done online dating--so I don't know the "etiquette."

But you gotta start somewhere.

It is needed to carry conviction in itself. It never late

Thanks for the advice. I would also like people's opinions of the concerns I have about judgment. For example, I am terrified someone will look down on me because I don't have many friends, and that I don't drive because I experienced hell doing it, most likely because of my aspergers. Will not driving severely impact my dating opportunities and women prefer to be with a guy that does? (I live in quite a small town) And I'm not the kind of guy that will introduce a girl to their friends, as I pretty much have null.

Everything you mentioned is a valid concern, but this is what stands out to me:

"I want a girlfriend, but have nothing going on in life for myself."

The issue with this is that it ignores our animalistic biology. Notice how most animals don't attract a mate until it's fulfilled certain obligations? Ever see a bird pick a mate before she knows he can build a decent nest? Or a lioness who will mate with a lion who hasn't proven he can keep her just as safe and happy as the other lions lurking around?

Mating is a game. A competition. A strategy. No matter what. It only feels like less of a strategy and game when you are having fun and not thinking too much, but it still is a game and strategy.

I use these two examples to remind myself of this:

A. Can't shoot scissors from mega man's cannon until you kill a few evil robots.

B. Can't get a raichu until you catch a pikachu and find a thunder stone first!

Anyone saying I want a raichu but isn't out hunting for pikachu or scavenging for thunder stones would look crazy.

If you don't like Pokemon or mega man, then let me compare this to your music:

Say you wanted to be a famous musician or song writer, but whenever a record deal was available you told the record company all the stuff you just said about dating.

"Well hi record company. I want to be your music artist so bad BUT I haven't learned to sing yet, I can play the piano, but it's been so long I really just want to bang the keys super hard until they breaks, and by the way, not sure I'm comfortable being recorded or ever going on a stage. Now how much will you pay me?"

In this situation why should they sign you? Any one in charge could use logic to rule you out as an option in a heart beat. Whose fault would it be? Yours for not preparing. Yours for assuming you could have it all while really not doing much to obtain it.

Trust that people 50 years of age and older understand this truth about the 20 year old dating environment. It's why I love having older friends. They teach me so much.

So why should a girl date you based on this post? Simply because you want it. That's it.

My advice: fall in love with yourself first. Date you. Treat yourself like you will treat your future girlfriend and suddenly you will have the life that will attract her.

1. Self esteem help

Make it like an outline that's straight to the point. Call it "why it's hard for me to get a girlfriend." Under each reason, write the solution to that problem. For example, I don't drive. Decide in 6 months to a year you either have your license or make enough money to catch cabs or uber so you can take your girlfriend places

You need to feel good about yourself. If you don't, you may not be able to maintain your relationship. Feeling good comes from being prepared and knowing you can keep up.

Also, know your priorities. It appears to me you are going about this in the wrong order.

YOU REALLY NEED SEX

It appears your focus is:

1. Sex
2. Romance

So be honest and try to get laid. Don't know how? Find a mentor. I do it all the time. My phone is filled with numbers of men and women my age and older. Truthfully I hate friends. But they are a great source of advice and information.

If it wasnt for my 50 year old friend, I would not have been in a position to make my fiance feel comfortable.

He had me go to the gym with him at least 3 days a week. He had me hang out with him and his spouse about twice a month which got me back used to talking and being a little social and actually feeling good at it. Hanging with them introduced me to places that I made my go to places for dates. He suggested I go back to school to learn about things I liked. As a result I met new people, volunteered, and gradually developed a better self image. When my fiance came along I appeared to be a person who was worth something.

It's unfair to ask people to look at coal and treat it like a diamond. You gotta endure the pressure so you can sparkle.

Relieve the sexual pressure first. A very horny young man can easily settle for a horrible relationship just because He is finally getting laid. So get laid, until you understand that it's just a small part of a woman. So you can not focus on the thoughts as much.

But know its normal too. If it is causing you hostess fix it, but all the guys I know have sexual thoughts about the girls they like. It would be weird if you didn't actually.