People bore me

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No matter how well I explain something, I have come to learn that no one will ever truly understand my logic, a more complete logic, usually, than anyone's I've trusted enough to tell.

Generally, they try to argue and fail. In the process, they twist my meaning and words to try and find a loophole. And, I am left debating my ideas until it becomes a lecture because they realize that they aren't educated enough to fully understand what I tried so hard to get through to them. It's incredibly frustrating and I have come to despise people when they just don't get it. I feel like they aren't trying. I feel like they don't care enough to learn and it makes me angry. Ultimately, I begin to feel like they are just stupid and lazy.

I had a very difficult life and I have complicated that life in many ways. In some ways, I have dug myself into a hole, unintentionally. On the other hand, I seek challenge and difficulty, which forces me to sacrifice many things. Therefore, I have a lot of experience as I have promoted my own development.

In any case, what I am left with is being a person who can talk about the many things and places I have visited that makes most people my age pale in comparison. I am generally the most experienced person in the room and have all sorts of stories for just about any topic that comes up.

I think that approximately 95% of people have nothing to contribute to a conversation that includes me. They talk about things I've already done. They talk about things I already know. And, I get bored.

I fear that I will never find a gal who can hold my interest long enough for me to fall in love with her. Anyone else in the same/similar boat?

You sound extremely arrogant.

I find it hard to believe that it is everyone else's problem that they bore you, and that you have "a more complete logic, usually, than anyone's [you've] trusted enough to tell."

Everyone else isn't "educated enough" to understand what you are trying to say. You feel that they are "just stupid and lazy." Most people your age "pale in comparison." You are generally "the most experienced person in the room and have all sorts of stories for just about any topic that comes up." Do you not see how arrogant that all sounds?

What makes you so certain that you indeed have a superior logic? Wouldn't it be more logical to assume that you only believe that your logic is superior, rather than that every other person with whom you come into contact is unable to understand you because they aren't logical enough? Even if you are a genius, in the top 1%, there are millions of people in the world with genius IQs that you could find to spend time with instead of the ordinary, "stupid and lazy" folks.

Perhaps your ideas are boring to them. Perhaps you are terrible at explaining yourself. Perhaps they don't want to understand, because you are lecturing them on things that they care nothing about. Perhaps you monopolize the conversations with talk of all the things that you know, and stories of your own accomplishments, instead of having reciprocal conversations that are fair to the other people involved.

Maybe you bore them.

I never laid blame on anyone. This is simply how my life is. Do I think that's great for me? No. Do I feel hurt that it's so difficult to find someone who has something new to say? Yes. Why? Because, through almost no fault of my own, I am bored by people who I want to connect with. If that's not the worst possible way to go through life, then I don't know what is, besides of course, the many trials and tribulations that 'survival of the fittest' forces us to go through.

So, allow me to specify that I made a fair assessment of the conversations I've had with said people, who I indeed, did speak with at length about such topics and trusted enough to. Did I claim that everyone who I didn't talk to was the same? Nope. Sure didn't.

And, so, my point is that I have endured a hard life, a challenging life, and I am intelligent to begin with. So, is it so hard to believe that makes for boring conversations, say, when someone blurts out facts that you just recalled in your head about the conversation at hand? This happens all the time. It's like everyone just repeats what I know. Sorry if you feel so judgmental. But, I am me and you don't have to like it.

So, again. Allow yourself to actually believe that, oh goodness, I am telling the truth and not being arrogant. Thanks

Last edited by Torstin on 27 Mar 2016, 3:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

I kinda get what you're saying. I'm careful with who I bother to speak to on meaningful subjects now. Most people defy logic and go with the herd mentality way of thinking. It's not worth the effort to have to convince them that they may be wrong, if someone believes something they will try defend it no matter what you say to them. It's really not worth the headache, especially when you leave at the end annoyed with them about it, that just ends up effecting you in a negative way. I know at times it can be hard to do, but just roll your eyes at them and walk away and let them think they won even though their argument is filled with logical fallacies, cause that is what they are going to think anyways. Finding like minded people is the key here. They are rare, but they exist.

Hm. Good point. I no longer share meaningful conversation with anyone because of exactly the same reason. It is very draining to go through all of that when you are spilling your heart out. So, maybe I fear that I will go through all the trouble and then find that the person doesn't really get me like I want them to, thus wasting my energy and time. And, so, that is to say that I would reject them upon being rejected myself. So, this problem is seated deeply in my belief structure. And, so, it would make sense to say that finding like minded people is the key.

The problem then becomes my lack of motivation to get to know anyone because I count on them to let me down, so I don't even want to bother. My room mate has brought multiple women over here and even though I didn't want to talk to them and I wasn't attracted to a few of them, I still tried to get to know them. But, they too, bored me.

Last edited by Torstin on 27 Mar 2016, 3:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

A lot of people bore me. Not because I'm too smart and they're not. I just find a lot of people to be uninteresting.

I'm not worried about finding a woman that doesn't hold my interest for long, rather I'm worried about being able to hold her interest for long.

Allow yourself to believe that perhaps you are telling the truth only as you see it, and not how it actually is. My life has been hard, and extremely challenging, and I'm more intelligent than approximately 97% of the human population. Yet I do not believe that everyone else is boring, less educated, or stupid because I can't relate to them.

You have decided that your logic is superior, and that the problem is that they just can't understand you. It's much more likely that they think differently because they are neurologically different from you.

It's also likely that you are not interested in the same things that they are. If you are talking about things that interest you all the time, people are likely going to have little to say about it. You can't possibly know everything about every subject. So chances are, you are talking about things in which you are already very knowledgable, and not about things in which most others have knowledge or experience in.

I think it's likely that you would still be bored by someone who is in an expert in a subject in which you know nothing about, despite the fact that they would have things to contribute to a conversation.

Yigeren,

"Yet I do not believe that everyone else is boring, less educated, or stupid because I can't relate to them."

Nor do I, so what are you getting at? Boredom comes from within and I specified the reasons why it comes to me.

"You have decided that your logic is superior, and that the problem is that they just can't understand you. It's much more likely that they think differently because they are neurologically different from you."

I have decided, in actuality, that my logic includes more detail, generally. I understand subjective truth. Never made a claim about my logic being superior, just more often than not, more complete. Might I say that there is no such thing as superior logic. There is only the big picture (actuality), which, we can uncover.

"It's also likely that you are not interested in the same things that they are. If you are talking about things that interest you all the time, people are likely going to have little to say about it. You can't possibly know everything about every subject. So chances are, you are talking about things in which you are already very knowledgable, and not about things in which most others have knowledge or experience in.

I think it's likely that you would still be bored by someone who is in an expert in a subject in which you know nothing about, despite the fact that they would have things to contribute to a conversation"

This, I thought about as well. But, I disregarded it as my interests are my interests for a reason. And, things I am not knowledgeable about I am not knowledgeable about for a reason. Like you said, I'd be bored. Why take away from my goals to learn about other things if they serve no purpose in my life? Just to be clear, it is rare that someone is speaking about something I know nothing about. If they are, it usually involves most sports or a TV Show. The point is that I am bored in conversations because I already know how the conversation will progress regarding a certain topic.

Maybe my problem is that I love what I love too much, so it makes being social difficult and dull. The thing is, I don't feel like I do. I can't help it. I just like what I like and trying to be social and interested drains me.

You specifically stated that your logic is more complete than anyone's you've trusted enough to tell. The implication is that quality makes your logic superior. Subjective truth is what everyone already understands. Objective truth is what we should strive to find. If there actually is such a thing. That's still being debated.

You did mention that you feel others are stupid and lazy because they don't understand you.

I think I could find lots of things that I know more about than you do, which do not involve sports or television. I suspect I'm not the only one.

In my opinion, your problem is a typical problem that those with Asperger's and ASD have. I suspect that you are interested in only a few subjects, are not generally interested in other people and their personal experiences, you are not willing and/or able to have reciprocal discussions with others not involving subjects of interest, are self-absorbed, and cannot understand why others don't get your logic. You don't seem to be able to accept that perhaps your logic is not as sound as you believe it to be.

Dude, I was going to say that you probably need to find yourself another Aspie female, but I don't even think that will help.

Sigh.... I feel like you are not reading what I am typing because you continue to assume things and put words in my mouth, thus changing the entire message. For instance, "No matter how well I explain something, I have come to learn that no one will ever truly understand my logic" Means that no one will ever truly understand my logic. Nor, will I understand theirs. I believe this to be a truth until two people have the same exact life and the first one is cloned.

"a more complete logic, usually, than anyone's I've trusted enough to tell." Means that usually, not as you just said "You specifically stated that your logic is more complete than anyone's you've trusted enough to tell. " Because I clearly did not.

"Subjective truth is what everyone already understands." It is what each person understands from their own experiences. Ie, not actuality (or objective truth as you might call it), as I already pointed out.

"Objective truth is what we should strive to find. If there actually is such a thing. That's still being debated." I could tackle this one with a lot of different perspectives, but I'll pick this one... IF existence is indeed everything, then it is actuality in every moment. And, the entirety of all space/time. Therefore, while it can theoretically change, all possibilities exist within it, thus that is actuality, or entirety, and what I would call the truth or big picture.


"You did mention that you feel others are stupid and lazy because they don't understand you.

I think I could find lots of things that I know more about than you do, which do not involve sports or television. I suspect I'm not the only one."

To specify, it is because I think they are not trying hard enough to understand the concept, since they aren't trying to become educated and a logical assumption is that they will stay that way with that attitude. So, yes, I feel that way, but I don't claim it's true, since it's just my opinion.

And, you definitely could. I relish the moments when people teach me something I didn't know because then I get to improve without even having to research. lol

I've been single for 4 years. You might be right.

People don't connect through logic. And the fact you know you are aspie should help you understand that on a logical level

Not putting words in your mouth. You specified that your logic is more complete, usually, if you want to get particular about it. I'm questioning that assumption. You didn't mention at all not understanding their logic. Perhaps you mean "more complex" rather than "more complete", because the word complete implies that their logic is incomplete, or lacking something. If their logic is lacking, while yours is not, the implication is still that yours is superior.

If you understand subjective truth, I'm not sure why that's even worth mentioning. Who doesn't?

You're getting into philosophical ideas that really have little to do with what I said.

Perhaps they don't care to become educated, because they are uninterested. As you are equally disinterested in things that have no purpose in your life. So, if you apply the same logic to yourself, then you are also lazy and stupid for refusing to try to become educated on the things that interest them. Like sports or television. As you said:

Doesn't it make you a hypocrite to feel that others are lazy and stupid for not trying hard enough to understand concepts which interest you, when you do not try hard enough to understand those topics which interest them?

As someone who is hyper-analytical, if you think you have such "complete" logic then I'm skeptical how good your deductive reasoning is. Those that think they are more logical often aren't, especially if they think they are right all the time, as they are too absolute in their thinking. There is nearly always another layer of reasoning. It is a question picking when to stop and forming your conclusion, which is the subjective part of the brain taking over.

Boredom is in the mind. That is your responsibility, but you know that I'm sure.

I do agree that people that have no interest in anything aren't worth perusing.

On what people find boring, those subjects your might find stimulating aren't to others. I think some minds don't like to be exercised intellectually, so stuff that makes the person think is negatively simulating to them. That is why some people find thought provoking stuff boring and prefer glossy magazines. However it may be possible to change that through conditioning should they wish.

It sounds to me that going over what you are have already done is negatively stimulating to you, especially on a more basic level. However it needn't be. There is a lot you can get out of exploring old topics, but choosing a different angle of attack or approach.

Technically, I never got tested, so I don't know for sure. But, you make a good point. Perhaps feelings are what will give me the energy to learn more about someone.




I'm just replying to what you said and I find it highly entertaining to ask the question of what 'is'?

So, ultimately, it's really only the core belief structures that get to me. I'd never claim that I know everything about the universe, etc, of course.


The reason is that your belief structure helps to shape your entire life.
For instance, I have a friend who hates his job and it is the source of most of his depression. I told him that if he were to take the time to find something he enjoys and work towards switching to that career, then he'd be a lot happier and less stressed once he did. This same friend instead smokes weed every time he comes home and does nothing productive, then he b*****s about work to everyone and brings them down because of how toxic he gets. He argues my point by making excuses. Like you, or someone in this thread had said, people will argue using logical fallacies.

Well, the 'problem' there is that he affects others negatively, which affects their mindset and that has a good chance to help push them into a depression as well. So, in my mind he is being selfish, stupid, and lazy. Especially considering that a person will find it difficult to be happy when all the people they care about are unhappy.

So, the things I refer to specifically regarding a more complete logic are universal to anyone's individual growth. You may argue, well, what difference does it make, we'll all be dead one day? And, that's fine. But, if there is a specific thing that everyone wants (to be happy, perhaps?) then it is important to consider others and to change your life to what you wish it to be.

As arrogant as I might sound. There is a formula for happiness. It is directly correlated with the belief structure and unique to each person. However, there are commonalities that exist and I have spent quite some time learning them.

The commonalities can be methods that are proven to work and simply having faith in that will allow you to change your life. Thus, these methods become a part of your belief structure because you believe them to be true.

So, no it doesn't make me feel hypocritical. As, I only speak of proven methods and ideas, which anyone can identify with, unless of course, you are a generally unaware person who doesn't seek self improvement or happiness. And, those are the people that I consider selfish, lazy, and stupid. They affect the rest of the world, including me, negatively.