why do people do this? (have to vent)

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If anyone on here remembers, last year i posted about a women I met on an online personal site. We went out a few times and then she never contacted me again. I thought that was rude and after a few dates I would think she would at least say there is nothing there and its not working out instead of just ignoring me.

So last month I met someone else online, we go out a couple of times, we talk about things that bug us about online dating. I told here i thought it was rude that after a few dates someone would just blow you off instead of being honest and saying its not working out. she agreed with me that it was rude. So after that date, I email her back and low and behold, I never hear back from her.

Why do people think its ok to just blow someone off like this after going out with them a few times? Especially after she said she thought it was rude, but she turns around and does the same thing, she is a hypocrate.

I have no idea. I've had a couple of situations
kind of fade away, but never had an e-mail just
be blown off except by my wife (after she decided
no contact whatsoever I guess). I'd just be glad
that you're through with such a hypocrite.

Well, I did this to a guy one time. Of course, I couldn't really tell if we were dating or not so I dk if this counts... We had kinda been flirting, or at least I thought, and we went to one of his high school football games (he paid for the ticket). We hung out there, but I felt he wasn't paying all that much attention to me, so I thought maybe I was wrong and it wasn't a date. Another time I asked him to go to a concert with me and he didn't say much to me the whole time we were there. So, I got ticked that he had been kind of leading me on thinking that he liked me, and I was interested in another guy too (who is now my current boyfriend/fiance), so I decided that was it, I wasn't going to go out with him anymore, if that was in fact what we had been doing at all. So I didn't contact him again. It never occured to me to tell him it wasn't working out. Maybe I was wrong. It turned out a year later that a friend told me that he had in fact liked me. I felt bad. Maybe those had been dates, but at the time I really just could not tell (I doubted myself). So anyway, it was easier to just have no contact than to awkwardly explain to him that I didn't want to go out with him anymore.

Thats something that really bothers me as well. Why the hell do they express interest and then blowe you off? I get that all the time and it really annoys and upsets me, mate, i feel your pain, but i can't answer your question, as i would like to know the same thing. Whats the point of doing that to a person after talking to them. I would be very unhappy.

I have been on both sides of this issue.I know it is hurtful to be dumped or avoided without explaination.It was probably one of my biggest issues in dating because I never could figure out what "I" had done wrong and so would think myself in a knot going over the dates and trying to figure out what I had done(You can only learn if you know what you did...)so this would become an obsession for me.

It was later pointed out to me.....that I may not have done anything "wrong".....People have many resons for not persueing a relationship.....No chemistry(cant change that)no attraction(cant or wont change that)got back in old relationship(no control over that)having personal life crises at work or family(again,not about us)others I havnt thought of......

Why someone wouldnt let you know...."why"

Possible reasons.......

1)it is something very personal and they dont feel comfortable sharing the info.
2)Many people are "comflict avoidant"...they fear your anger or sadness of rejection and dont want to deal with it
3)They dont know "why" and so are afraid of trying to explain it to someone
4)They are afraid that if they tell you their reason you will be able to convince them they are wrong in their perception
5)fear of being yelled at,insulted, bullied or even stalked...you are a "relative stranger" even after a few dates.


So,my point is.....We are the center of OUR universes,not theirs.Their reasons for not persueing relationship may not be about us(they barely know US after a few dates)...they are "not responding" out of their own fear of the UNknown.They may have intended to call and let you know....but,the unconcious mind makes it easy to procrastinate on unpleasant tasks and convince them that......"we have no obligation to do so,the person probably doesnt really care about us anyway,so wont be hurt"

I am sorry that it happens.I know I have been very hurt and confused by such rejection without explaination in the past but it is part of the dating "thing" and has to be excepted as one of the unpleasant realities of life.